May 2 2008 Zombie-Apocalypse Survival Truck Is Out Moonlighting As A Storm Chasing Vehicle
Somebody took these pictures at a gas station in Kansas. They show what is allegedly a tornado chasing vehicle (they're hot on the tail of that one that got Dorothy). Now I've never watched Twister, mostly because tornadoes scare the shit out of me and I was born with a monster vajhyena (its bark is worse than its bite), but I doubt Helen Hunt was driving one of these. Was she? I didn't think so. So, that leaves only one question left to be answered -- what is this vehicle's true identity? Does the government know something we don't? Are the zombies coming? Because if they know the zombies are coming and they're not telling us, that is f***ed the f up. And I'll be damned if the zombies munch my brain. That's why I'm stealing my neighbor's truck tonight and starting construction of my own zombie assault vehicle. I'm mostly just gonna weld a bunch of sheet metal to the body, but I may opt for a flame paint job if it turns out good. Oh, and I'm going to make a bunch of custom bumper stickers with clever zombie-related slogans. Stuff like "Brain: Not the other gray meat you stupid asshole zombies", and "If you can read this you're unusually smart for a zombie but I'm still about to back the f*** over your head".
Several more pictures for your apocalyptic-viewing pleasure, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Zombie-Apocalypse Survival Truck Is Out Moonlighting As A Storm Chasing Vehicle "
May 2 2008 Use Whatever You Want For Clock Hands
Well, you can't really insert anything you clock fetish pervwads. Just things that are relatively small, cylindrical, and lightweight. But everything that meets those criteria is fair game. Like, um, severed fingers (I recommend using a thumb and middle finger -- 3 and 9 o'clock will be hilarious!). Seriously though, this thing is pretty clever. It's really got me thinking about what time it is. Which, right now, is time to find two more things to post about. And then -- then it's time to mow the lawn and shower. But after that -- well, by then the wife will be home and it'll be time to play video games and tune her out while she complains about her day at work.
Several more pictures of the thing and what you can do with it (use twigs!) after the jump off. And yes, I posted this to make up for that coat hanger timepiece from earlier.
May 2 2008 Xerox Paper That Erases Print In 24 Hours
Xerox has decided that, since people can't seem to stop printing things, and that wasted paper is environmentally unfriendly, they'd make a self-erasing paper product.
The paper contains specially coded molecules that create a print after being exposed to ultraviolet light emitted from a thin bar in a printer. The molecule readjusts itself within 24 hours to its original form to delete the print, or heat can readjust the molecule instantly.
Each page can be used up to 100 times provided you don't spill coffee on it, crumple it, or otherwise desecrate the paper in a way that would prevent from going through the printer again. Personally, I think this is brilliant, and a great way to save paper. Of course, I haven't heard a mention of cost, which is probably significantly higher than the paper's non-magical competition (regular damn paper). I just wish I had slipped a sheet of this in when my marriage certificate was being printed. You know, so I could be released from the chaffing bonds of this unholy matrimony.
UPDATE: Hmm, so it seems that this is old news, so I'm not sure what the hell this article was talking about. Oh well, hopefully you hadn't heard about it before (and that disappearing ink gag shit you used to spray on people as a kid doesn't count).
Xerox Spy Paper Will Self Destruct In 24 Hours [ohgizmo]
May 2 2008 Analog GPS Unit Is Just A Piece Of Paper
In this day of Garmin, TomTom, and Magellan GPS navigation systems, it's good to see an analog alternative to the digital market. And here it is, the Paper GPS system. As you can see it's a pad of paper that has little arrows to circle and boxes to write directions and mileage between turns. Each pad costs $6.50 and makes a great gift. You should have seen the look on my girlfriend's face when I told her I got her a GPS navigation system for her birthday! She was so freaking excited (she gets lost easily). Then she opens the box and it's a pad of this paper. Oh man, I laughed my ass off. Unfortunately she didn't have too much trouble finding her way to the door, and, that night, some other dude's bed.
paper gps won't get you lost (if you write good directions) [technabob]
May 2 2008 World's Most Expensive House Costs A Lot
Mukesh Ambani, the fifth richest man in the world, is having a new house built in Mumbai. Mukesh made his money as head of Mumbai-based petrochemical company Reliance industries. His net worth is over $43 billion and he, his wife, and 3 kids currently live in a 22-story tower (the whole thing). You know, my girlfriend and I once lived in a Ford Festiva for 7 weeks. So why anybody needs a $2 billion, 550 foot high, 400,000 square foot home for five people is beyond me. I mean, we could have accommodated three more people if we had had a Taurus or some other mid-sized sedan. Hit the link to see some more pictures and a link to an in-depth article explaining all the crap inside, but I can't write about this anymore, it's just too frustrating. But you know what? While Mukesh may be rich in a monetary sense, my life is rich in tradition. Yep, traditionally I come home from work at six, drink eight beers and a pint of bourbon, eat whatever culinary abortion my wife has prepared, then pass out. And a tradition like that, Mukesh, is something money can't buy.
Several more renderings of the interior, and a link to the article, after the jump.
Continue Reading " World's Most Expensive House Costs A Lot "
May 2 2008 Coffin Couches: A Little Morbid For My Taste
Looking for a unique couch? Looking for a unique couch made out of a "display model" coffin? If so, check out these Coffin Couches. Each one is constructed from a real dead body receptacle (last year's models) and can hold up to 900 pounds (despite the spindly looking legs). You can buy one off the site, or order a custom setup and each costs around $4,500. Now are you thinking what I'm thinking? Hell yeah, making love on a coffin! Just kidding. Anybody that was actually thinking what I was pretending to think there should really consider getting help. Oh, and you shouldn't be allowed to own a shovel and flashlight, or live within walking distance of a cemetery.
A couple pictures of a Los Angeles Dodgers model after the jump.
Continue Reading " Coffin Couches: A Little Morbid For My Taste "
May 2 2008 Japanese IV Drip Cafes Just Aren't Right
When I think of a cafe I think reading the morning paper and sipping an espresso while ogling the cute barista that I have a crush on. NOT an IV drip. Well, following in the footsteps of oxygen bars come Japanese IV drip cafes. For about 2,000 yen ($20), you too can be pricked by a registered nurse and get your drip on.
Tenteki10, located in the swank area of Ebisu, Tokyo, offers customers a walk-in service that features IV drips starting at 2,000 yen ($20). The service is meant to provide a skin care boost, act as an anti-aging remedy and alleviate stress and exhaustion.
I hate needles, so this is clearly not for me. I mean I could make an exception if there was morphine involved, but I've got a feeling there isn't. The last time I went in for surgery I had an IV drip and the anesthesiologist injected the anesthesia into the bag and told me to count backwards from 100. I made it to 98 and then woke up after the surgery. I felt funny. Down there. I lifted my gown and the once tranquil forest surrounding Peckertown had been clear cut! If I ever break my arm again I'm not going back there.
IV Drip Cafes emerge as Japanese salaryman jumper cables [dvice]
May 2 2008 Steampunky Watch Also Looks Coat Hangery
I don't have much information about this steampunky watch, so we'll just make it up as we go along. Let's see, it looks like the designer has a real penchant for coat hangers. Oh, and it looks uncomfortable to wear. That said, I'm sure it's a real attention getter. But mostly "oh my God, I think that poor guy broke his wrist and made his own brace out of coat hangers" attention. But hey, all attention is good attention in my book. And that's why I always scribble my number on the urinal dividers at truck stops.
One more picture of the timepiece after the jump.
Continue Reading " Steampunky Watch Also Looks Coat Hangery "
May 1 2008 Oh Hell Yes: The Personal Rocket-Copter
We've seen personal helicopters here before, but nothing with the added awesomeness of jet-power. Well now from the same company that brought us the Rocket Belt (Tecnologia Aeroespacial Mexicana) comes the Libelula (named after a part of a woman's nether-region if I'm not mistaken) Rocket Helicopter. It's currently just conceptual, but they actually sold the Rocket Belts, so this may become a reality as well (oh hell yes, please). "By using tiny rocket motors at the tips of the rotor blades, the Libelula eliminates the torque which makes a tail rotor necessary in a conventional helicopter." Now, as a guy who judges how much fun something will be based on the level of danger involved, I give the rocket-copter a "moderate-to-high" ranking for fun potential. If they added bombs and missiles it'd score a solid "high". If it came with a faulty fuel gauge, one of the blades was just barely attached, and people shot at you every time you flew it I'd give it an "extreme" rating. Which, besides having unprotected sex with my ex-girlfriend, is the only activity to rank so highly.
Strap on rocket powered helicopter lets you demonstrate your bravery [dvice]
May 1 2008 Video Of The R2-D2 Home Theater System
Remember the R2-D2 home entertainment system we posted a while ago? Well here he comes again, this time with a video to prove his existence and functionality. In case you're too lazy to click the old post's link (or is convinced I was trying to send you to a porn site), I've included the system's features here.
R2-D2, an icon of cinema and a comfortable fixture in any home theater, actually uses a projector in the films -- so of course he'd make the perfect DVD projector at home! Able to project from a distance of over 16 feet with an 260-inch image, this is one R2 unit that will soon be playing back the entire message in homes across the country. Check out these features:
* Picture by DLP from Texas Instruments
* Project to ceilings and walls up to a 260-inch picture
* Resolution: 1024x768
* Contrast Ratio: 1800:1
* Lumens: 1500
* Built-in CD/DVD player. Also plays MP3/MP4 video
* iPod docking station, memory card and USB slots
* Built-in 20 watt stereo speaker system
* FM wireless audio out (channels 1 through 7)
* Full-function: forward, reverse turn 360 degrees and recline
* Millennium Falcon remote control with removable stand
* Head turns using Millennium Falcon remote control
* Plays the most popular R2-D2 sound effects
Unfortunately it appears R2's cost has increased from $2,800 to $2,995. WTF? I mean, what's it look like, I'm made of money? That's ridiculous. Like my mother told me when I was a child, I'm made from snips and snails and puppy dog tails. And, as my best guess, my girlfriend is made from a giant pie-hole that only stops talking about nonsense long enough to jam a carton of Oreos into. I don't care about what color the freaking window treatments are, just buy some!
I didn't mean that honey. I think we should go with a light brown shade like wheat or sand so they'll coordinate with the love seat and my dignity.
R2-D2 Projector In Action Video (Verdict: A Must Have) [gizmodo]
May 1 2008 Albert Hofmann, Father Of LSD, Passed Away
Albert Hofmann, the father of LSD (that awesome stuff that makes the walls melt and/or talk to you), has died of a heart attack at age 102.
Albert Hofmann (January 11, 1906 - April 29, 2008) was a Swiss scientist best known for having been the first to synthesize, ingest and communicate the strong hallucinogenic effects of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD). Hofmann authored more than 100 scientific articles and wrote a number of books, including LSD: My Problem Child. On January 11, 2006, Hofmann became a centenarian, and the occasion of his 100th birthday was the focus of an international symposium on LSD.
That's a picture of him there at age 100, looking healthy and zany as ever. Which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that acid is, in fact, the fountain of youth.*
* This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. It has, however, been evaluated by me tripping balls and going to the rollerskating rink. Which was great -- I talked to my skates for over an hour. Good people.
Wikipedia
Thanks to Kathryn, who's a real trip to be around, for the tip
May 1 2008 Coming Soon: Space Flights For Cheaper
Thought Virgin Galactic had the public space travel market sewn shut? Well think again -- there's a new player coming to the game.
The company, XCOR Aerospace, of Mojave, CA, announced that its two-seat Lynx suborbital spaceship will carry people or payloads to where they will experience weightlessness and see the stars above and the Earth and its atmosphere below. This will launch XCOR into the emerging space tourism market, estimated at over a half-billion dollars.The Lynx will offer affordable access to space for individuals, researchers and educators," said XCOR CEO Jeff Greason. "Future versions of Lynx will offer ever-improving capabilities for scientific and engineering research and commercial applications.
The spaceship, roughly the size of a small private airplane, will first take off in 2010 and will be capable of flying several times each day.
Rides will last approximately 30 minutes from take-off to landing, but there's no word on pricing yet. It's definitely going to be cheaper than $200,000 Virgin Galactic rides, but probably still expensive. My guess is a tentacled arm and leg! Get it? Because aliens have tentacled appendages. That was a space joke. Just like this one: Why doesn't NASA let me fly the space shuttle? Because I'm a freaking idiot!
Another picture showing what a typical flight will consist of, along with a worthwhile video, after the jump.
May 1 2008 OLD!: Ferrofluids Are Amazing To Watch
Here, I'll help: OLD! Methuselah probably watched this in his 8th grade science class. But here it is anyway. I'm mainly posting it because ferrofluids are freaking awesome and you may not have seen them. That, and I secretly like posting old things because it reminds me of my childhood when life was carefree and I didn't have to worry about this rash.
A ferrofluid (from the Latin ferrum, meaning iron) is a liquid which becomes strongly polarized in the presence of a magnetic field. It is a colloidal mixture comprising extremely small magnetic particles suspended in a liquid. The particles are coated with a soap or detergent to prevent them from clumping together.
Basically it's a magical black liquid that makes a lot of spikies in response to magnetic stimuli and is amazing to watch.
UPDATE: I just got an email from a very reliable metal expert, and he has something he wants to say about ferrofluids.
From: Magneto@menwithmetaldongs.com
[mailto:thegeekologiewriter@sexybloggers.com]
Sent: Thurs 2008-05-01 12:58
To: Writer, The Geekologie
Subject: Ferrofluids
Geekologie Writer,
I really want to stick my metal rod in that ferrofluid.
Best,
Magneto
Youtube (links on page to other ferrofluid videos as well)
Thanks to Amy, a rare-earth magnetic beauty herself, for the tip
May 1 2008 Portable NES Gaming Systems On eBay
Still got a bunch of old NES cartridges lying around? Want to play them while you're on family car trips instead of listening to your mom and stepdad bicker over whether you're stopping at Arby's or McDonalds for lunch? If so, you may be interested in the FC Mobile console (or the solar-powered portable emulator). It plays the original NES cartridges and is available on eBay for $40-$50.
Take your NES games on the road with the FC Mobile Console. Featuring a 2.4" LCD screen and stereo speakers, you can recreate your NES experience right in the palm of your hand with the FC Mobile Console. Want to show off your gaming skills to your friends while you play? The FC Mobile Console supports a TV output connector so that you can make or break your NES experience right on your TV screen.
That's what I'm talking about. I love "showing off my gaming skills to my friends while I play". Hey guys, check this out -- I'm playing Super Mario 3. Now watch, I'm gonna fall off this platform into a pit and die. HA, did you see that shit!? I totally owned that pit, didn't I? Hell f'ing yeah I did -- they're called skills folks, and I've got tons of them. Now somebody tell my mom to bring us the Sunny-D.
eBay Auctions
via
fc mobile console plays original nes carts [technabob]
May 1 2008 Custom Ninja Gaiden Handpainted Shoes
I know what you're thinking my fellow geekologists, you're thinking "damn, it's about time we see some more handpainted shoes so we can rip into them like a horde of zombies munching the last brain on earth." Well the wait is over my esteemed colleagues. These custom Ninja Gaiden slip-ons feature Ryu Hayabusa in all his stealthy glory. They were painted by some chick for her boyfriend, Roger. Hats off to you, Roger, you done scored yourself a good one. She even used slip-on shoes, so she probably knows how much men hate laces because they always come untied and get dragged through urine puddles in public restrooms. Good girl. Not only does my girlfriend not paint me shit, but she hides my shoes when she's mad at me. She's sick. Literally -- we think it's dysentery. Damn you, Oregon Trail.
One more picture after the jump, along with the link to a high-res version.
May 1 2008 Company Specializes In Secret Passages
Creative Home Engineering is a firm that specializes in build secret passageways into your house. Which is pretty much the awesomest thing I've ever heard (besides hearing that American Gladiators was coming back, but before I saw one and realized it was a disaster). They make everything from the stairs you see here, to bookshelf doors and rotating fireplaces. Prices range from $5,000 to $250,000 depending on how ridiculous you want to get. You know, growing up I lived in a house with a little secret passage. It was in the upstairs hallway. I was always afraid to see where it led but one day I went for it and climbed in. I fell two stories into a hamper by the washing machine. It was awesome.
Several more hidden passageway pictures, and a link to the company's gallery, after the jump.
Apr 30 2008 For Real: Man Regrows Finger With Pixie Dust
Lee Spievak cut his finger off and then regrew it using pixie dust.
"I put my finger in," Mr. Spievak says, pointing towards the propeller of a model airplane, "and that's when I sliced my finger off."
Wow, Lee, wow. Reminds me of the time I stuck my tongue in an oscillating fan.
Today though, you wouldn't know it. Mr Spievak, who is 69 years old, shows off his finger, and it's all there, tissue, nerves, nail, skin, even his finger print. How? Well that's the truly remarkable part. It wasn't a transplant. Mr Spievak re-grew his finger tip. He used a powder - or pixie dust as he sometimes refers to it while telling his story. Mr Speivak's brother Alan - who was working in the field of regenerative medicine - sent him the powder.
The pixie dust, or more appropriately "pigsy dust", is actually made by scraping the cells from the inside of a pig's bladder, treating them with acid, and turning them into a powder. In addition to smelling like urine, the magical substance can regrow fingers lost in the propellers of model airplanes. Scientists hope that within 10 years we will be able to regrow arms and legs. Cool, scientists, but let's think outside the box for a second. How about you grow me a sweet pair of wings or a tail? That's what I want. Seriously though, I'm a little skeptical about this whole thing. I smoked a little angel dust once and I didn't grow a penis out of my forehead. I just felt like there were worms burrowing under my skin.
An uncensored picture of dude's severed finger (GRAPHIC), along with a link to the BBC article (which includes videos), after the jump.
Continue Reading " For Real: Man Regrows Finger With Pixie Dust "
Apr 30 2008 Umm, Sure: Animal Head Bicycle Seat Covers
These are bicycle seat covers for all you pervs out there with a "sitting on animal heads" fetish. You're my kind of people, high five! Okay, now police, round up anyone who just tried to give me a high five. Whew, now that the freaky deviants are out of here, let's get down to business. These bike seat covers come in goat, bear, and dog varieties and all cost about $15. If you want to get the most bang for your buck though I recommend the dog or goat ones, since they're made of way more material than the bear. I considered one, but I'm holding out for a crocodile. Have you ever sat on a crocodile's head before? Let me tell you -- it's a rush. Like huffing airplane glue, but with more sharp teeth inches from your manhammer.
Thanks to Melissa, who doesn't need a bike because she rides a unicorn, for the tip
Apr 30 2008 Portal Technology Makes For Neat Video
Remember Portal, the sweet little game that came with The Orange Box? Yeah, I heart my companion cube too. Well, using the technological basis of the game, a company has made a video demonstration of what portals would look like in the real world (and yes, it's better than the see-through display video).
Created by EmmanuelMFr of France's Total Immersion, the illusions in the video really are reminiscent of those in the game. Using his company's D'FUSION software, he was able to swap the images on each virtual screen surface in real time, including full 3-dimensional transformations.
Okay now that video left me pretty confused, but I think what they're getting at is how awesome it would be to grab a beer from the fridge without leaving the couch. And I think we can all agree that would be Nobel Prize worthy. Hell, if I could grab beer from the grocery store (and not pay) without leaving the couch, I'd nominate that shit for a Pulitzer.
portal technology in the real world [technabob]
Apr 30 2008 Water-Cooled Shirt Keeps You, Well, Cool
The Cool Shirt is a water-cooled t-shirt. It keeps you cool. Not cool in a "I'm gonna get mad laid in this Geekologie t-shirt" way, but rather in a "not warm or hot" way. They were designed for race car drivers, and pump 45-60 degree water around your nipples through 50 feet of rubber hose. You just plug the ends into a pump, and away you go. Since I couldn't find any pricing info, and my trusty Metro doesn't have any AC, I decided to make my own for the hot summer months. Unfortunately, the water was recently cut off in my tenement, so I had to use bourbon instead. Well this morning I was halfway to the grocery store when a crappy song came on the radio and really pissed me off. I yanked one of the tubes out of the pump and let it work all that delicious bourbon down my throat. I got drunk pretty fast (drinking out of a straw gets you drunk faster) and drove my car through a Hardees. I made the most of the situation though and had a delicious order of biscuits and gravy before the police got there. In hindsight, filling the shirt with bourbon was a bad idea. Vodka or gin is probably the way to go.
Water-Cool Yourself With a Cool Shirt [uberreview]
Thanks to Wes, who everyone finds both hot and cool
Apr 30 2008 I'm Getting Hungry: Another Mario Cake
Two Mario posts in a row! *jackpot buzzer* I think I've won a prize! Damnit, it's just the fire alarm. The girlfriend must be burning something in the kitchen (surprise, surprise). So, here we have another Mario cake. We certainly have seen quite a few Mario-themed edibles here on Geekologie, haven't we? We sure have. And it won't stop until the world is void of fondant. Speaking of which, I don't want any damn bickering about how much fondant tastes like shit, etc. etc., in the comments section. You behave yourselves. This isn't about fondant and its properties, this is about Mario-cake artistry. And, quite frankly, I'd eat that cake if it was made of cat shit. You see, I lost my taste buds in a bet that I couldn't eat 20 wasabi filled habanero peppers in two minutes while my roommate continually kicked me in the ballsack. Everything went numb after about twenty seconds, but sadly, my taste buds never returned (and neither did one teste -- I think it's floating around in my pelvis).
Several more pictures of the cake, as well as the artist's original drawing of the thing, after the jump.
Apr 30 2008 SuperMario Plumber May Have Legal Issues
Some UK plumbing firm thought they'd ramp up their business with video game lovers and name their company SuperMario heating and plumbing. Now I don't know if this has already been resolved, but Nintendo may have something to say about that. To be fair though, at least one of the founders is named Mario. Well, Mariusz "Mario" Gruszka. Hrrm, that's pretty questionable. So yeah, Mariusz may need a new o-ring himself by the time the Nintendo lawyers are through with him.
super mario is really a plumber, really. [technabob]
Apr 30 2008 NeoCube Alpha: 216 Rare-Earth Magnet Balls
I thought this video was pretty freaking neat. It almost made me buy a NeoCube ($30), but I figured I'd wait until you of you did and gave me the real scoop.
Composed of 216 INDIVIDUAL high energy rare-earth magnets, the NeoCube Alpha is capable of a nearly infinite number of possible solutions making the NeoCube Alpha perfect for gaming, expression, stress relief, boredom busting, dual hemispherical brain stimulation, and hours of fun.
Awesome, I could play with that for hours. However, such incredible fun comes with several warnings:
The strong magnets in the NeoCube can damage or destroy some electronic devices. Therefore it should never be put close to or directly in contact with electronic products (including medical devices). Never attempt to burn the NeoCube. The NdFeB material which is the magnetic material in the NeoCube is a relatively new material, and long term effects of direct skin exposure are therefore unknown. Although there have been no studies which indicate that it is in any way transdermaly toxic, there have been studies that prove the Geekologie writer is a sexy, sexy man. This product is not intended to treat, diagnose, or cure any diseases. This product contains small balls.
I'm a little scared now. But I think the fun I'd have playing with the NeoCube would outweigh any adverse health risks. I mean I can play with little magnetic balls for hours. Same goes for mercury.
Product Page
via
The NeoCube [albotas]
Apr 30 2008 Nose Plugs Keep You Safe From Bio-hazards
Well I'm not really sure how safe they'll keep you from serious bio-hazards, but they've got to be better than just pulling your shirt up over your nose, right? Maybe not, I don't know. I ain't no damn noseologist, I'm a geekologist. Anyway, the Nose Mask Pit cost $14 and fit nice and tight up in your nostrils to keep out allergens and other nasty stuff. Maybe you want them, or maybe you prefer a surgical mask. Personally, I don a full-fledged gasmask. Like my grandpappy used to say, you never can be too safe or too drunk at a seedy strip club. Amen to that, pappy. If you do decide to go with these, let me give you a word of warning: Be careful. As a kid I stuffed two Hot-Wheels tires up one nostril and a cherry pit up the other and had to go to the hospital. My mom was afraid they'd cause lasting damage, but, thankfully, the doctor assured her I was retarded long before the incident.
Apr 29 2008 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top
Mad Ron Laycock is a man. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name. Mad Ron Laycock is a man who should change his name and be careful riding a 3,800 HP jet powered deathtrap. That just doesn't look like a good idea. And this is coming from a guy who gets friends to bet him he won't jump out of tall trees. So I know all about bad ideas. Anyway, this bike certainly does bring new meaning to the phrase "crotch rocket", doesn't it? Hrrm, this time that actually made sense. I don't like that. Oh well, good luck with that thing, Mr. Laypipe. Just one last question -- are your balls really steel? Oh damn, plutonium. Well keep those suckers good and polished -- I've heard chicks dig a nice radioactive glow down there.
Another picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " 3,800 HP Jet-Cycle Is A Little Over The Top "
Apr 29 2008 Uh-Oh: Reassembling Robots Are Hard To Kill
Well, we've seen a reassembling robot before, but that one was a chair, and, honestly, it's hard to get too frightened about a chair unless it's being swung at you by an unruly biker at the bar because you hit on his sister. Well these little reassembling robots are both scary and creepy (skip to around 1:26 for the good stuff). You kick them apart, and they find all the other pieces and self-assemble. Just think of the possibilities.
How would you like to have your very own shape-shifter? Perhaps a liquid metal T-1000 Terminator to help around the house. Or a universal tool kit that could reshape itself into any implement at the press of a button.
Okay, any mention of robots that includes a reference to "shape-shifters" and the Terminator is bound to scare the shit out of me. Needless to say I'm writing this from under my parents' bed. Speaking of which, there's an awful lot of damn squeaking going on up there. Oh no. Oh God, no.
Shape-shifting robots take form [newscientist]
via
Youtube
Thanks to Karina, who battles robots of all colors except for pink -- those she leaves to Yoshimi, for the tip
Apr 29 2008 R2-D2 Workshop Manual Shirt Is Wearable
This is a picture from a shirt you can buy that was made to look like a Haynes workshop manual. Except it's for R2 units! Like R2-D2, you know, from Star Wars! The shirt costs $24, and if you look closely at the insides you'll notice that R2 units are packed with a bicycle, turntables, one of those robots from Dr. Who, and a dentist's chair. Who'd have thought? Not me. I may actually get one if I can steal enough money out of my wife's purse without her knowing. My "Level 70 geeks do it all night long with a pack of blood elves on the back of a flying mount" t-shirt is getting pretty ripe from all the late night gaming sessions.
Reece Ward's shirt page on redbubble (with a bunch of other geeky clothing)
Apr 29 2008 Sweet Steampunk Nerf Rifle On eBay
This is a steampunkified Nerf gun that was recently for sale on eBay. The winning bid was a whopping $455 + $35 shipping, for a grand total of, uh, less than $500. Per the auction:
Good Evening My Lords and Ladies:Allow me to present to you the latest in steam powered weaponry, straight from the laboratory of Professor Oliver Shagnasty, Esquire.
Up for auction is a ONE OF A KIND, TOTALLY CUSTOM, NEVER DUPLICATED, ORIGINAL STEAM POWERED NERF.
Cast your gaze and wonderment upon the steam age's most advanced Plasmatical Ejector, the Prof. Shagnasty Model 101. Mr. Shagnasty has spent many hours preparing an equalizer that is capable of performing feats that heretofore were unfathomable!
Professor Shagnasty? Was he really calling himself Professor Shagnasty? I mean Dr. Steamdong I could understand, but Shagnasty is just ridiculous, and, quite frankly, a little vulgar. Great job on the mod though, I think it looks great. Just the thing I need to ramp up the cubicle war I have going on with The Superfical Writer. He stapled my head to the desk and drew a penis on my cheek when I dozed off on the job yesterday, so he's got it coming.
Hit the jump for several more worthwhile pictures and a link to the auction (with a ton more high-res eye candy).
Apr 29 2008 The OctoDog Slices Wieners, Is Really Cute
OctoDog is a $16 kitchen utensil that slices hot dogs into a fun octopus shape (the eyes even poke eye holes in the dog). It's totally freaking awesome. Because, if there's one thing I learned growing up, it's that hot dogs are made of pig lips and assholes and only taste right if they're in the shape of an eight-legged sea creature. Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of what you can do with your newfound hot dog friends as well as an instructional video on how to use the slicer. Just a word of warning though: DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT purchase one of these if you're a man and currently cheating on your wife/girlfriend. Or if you just fight regularly and she has ever made any sort of threat to "slice your pecker up". If that's the case you should probably even delete your browser history and cookies so there's no chance she'll ever see this thing.
Worthwhile pictures and a video after the jump.
Continue Reading " The OctoDog Slices Wieners, Is Really Cute "
Apr 29 2008 Another Mind-Controlled Gaming Peripheral
Remember the Emotiv Epoch neuroheadset from a while ago? No? Well how about this stupid looking head massager? Well there's no way you've forgotten about the thought screen helmet that prevents alien thought control. Well this isn't that. It is similar to the Epoch though. The OCZ Neural Impulse Actuator (~$200) is a gaming peripheral that you program to respond to certain impulses from your brain.
To begin with, you probably only want to map a single event to your games, but as your confidence improves you'll be able to do more and give your hands a break. And as the NIA can speed up response times (200ms to click fire, 100ms to think it), it means you'll be more efficient at shooting before getting shot.We got to use the device for an extended play in the wonderfully frenetic Unreal Tournament 3, and the buzz you get when you knock up your first frag is every bit as stunning as it is scary.
'I just killed him with my mind' will trip off your lips with your first few kills, but you'll soon get over the awe and focus on the insanely quick fragging.
Freaking awesome! I've always wanted to kill just by thinking about it. And you know what else I wish I could do just by thinking? Bake cookies. Man, I could really go for a snickerdoodle right now. Maybe if I focus hard enough I can make it happen.
UPDATE: Holy shit, the cat's on fire!
UPDATE: I have super powers!
OCZ Neural Impulse Actuator [techradar]
Thanks to Greg, who can control women with his mind (and devilish good looks), for the tip
Apr 29 2008 Imagine This Thing Sucking Your Brains Out
Festo is an industrial automation company that likes making weird shit that creeps me out. This is proof of that. It's a video of their AirJelly, which is a robotic jellyfish that runs on a lithium-ion battery, an electric motor, and a spot of helium. It reminds me of the "floater" (not of the unsinkable turd variety) aliens that Carl Sagan imagines in Cosmos when describing possible life on a Jupiter-like planet. So, yeah. Now imagine this thing attaching itself to your head and sucking your brains out through a hole it cuts with a special drill bit. It won't take your whole brain though, just enough to get a fix. That way it can come and harvest more brain juice whenever it wants. And if you think hiding underwater is the secret to saving your nog, you're wrong. They've already made the robotic bastards for the seas as well. I guess what I'm getting at here is that Festo is an organization run by robot sympathizers from the future that must be stopped. Unless you're cool being some robot's bitch. And trust me, you shouldn't be. I've had sex with a robot before, and I've got three words to say about the experience: cold, metal, could have used more oil.
A video of the underwater version (and no, it's not just a damn jellyfish) after the jump.
Continue Reading " Imagine This Thing Sucking Your Brains Out "
Apr 29 2008 E-Ink Jacket May Get You Punched, Groped
The BLU e-ink jacket is a concept from Lunar Design. It's an electronic fabric jacket that will shock all your chesthair off in a rainstorm.
Imagine a jacket that could display your mood throughout the day, offer maps on your sleeve for city navigation, or flash intriguing advertisements to passersby -- a fashionable twist on the age-old human sandwich board.
Hrrm, interesting. Because people love ads so much I'm sure they'll be ecstatic to see you've turned yourself into a walking "Head On" commercial. Just don't be surprised if someone applies their fist directly to your forehead. Because they will. That said, I would pretend like I needed to see that girl's map in the picture. Let's see here, if I follow the green-line across Zipper River and around Mammary Mountain...ah yes, Nippleville -- that's where I'm headed.
Thanks to Karina, who looks stunning in e-ink and fingerpaint, for the tip
Apr 28 2008 The Urban Security Suit Protects, Looks Good
The Urban Security Suit is the brainchild of Dutch designer Tim Smit. It's a jacket/hoodie made out of neoprene with body molded kevlar added in all the right places. As an added bonus it's got a gas mask pocket and is white with gray accents. No word on if they'll really be made or if Tim is just waving his dong in the wind, but either way, I want one. I already have a gas mask though, so I don't want to pay extra for that. I like the look, I think it makes you look like some sort of modern ninja. And, as someone who was born with a ninjato sword for one arm and a grappling hook (sorry, mom) for the other, I think I'd know. Not only that, but I've since had my eyes replaced with throwing stars. So yeah, I'm pretty much a ninja authority and all around bad-ass mother (literally, I left my kid at Arby's once). Did I mention I've beat every Ninja Gaiden game ever made? Because I have.
Several more pictures of the suit after the jump.
Continue Reading " The Urban Security Suit Protects, Looks Good "
Apr 28 2008 More Custom My Little Ponies For All Of You That Didn't Have A REAL Pony As A Kid
No matter how many times I asked or how well I behaved, my dad always refused to get me a pony when I was growing up. Something about them not being allowed in the apartment building. Well I've never forgiven him and had to live out my fantasy of having one by playing with girl's toys and dressing up in my mom's clothes. And I think that's why I'm so drawn to these wonderful creations by AnimeAmy (of My Little Master Chief fame). This is Davy Jones, but after the jump there are a couple Links, a Yoda, and even a little Optimus Prime action. And speaking of prime action, anybody know where I can score a little lovin' around here? *wink wink* And by lovin' I obviously don't mean real love, I'm talking about having sex with a hooker. Although truthfully, I have fallen for several in the past.
Hit the jump for the rest and a link to AnimeAmy's deviantART page (with even more ponies!)
Apr 28 2008 Sure, Why Not?: See-Through Monitor Display
Remember the Holographic Vaio Zoom laptop concept from awhile back? Pretty titillating wasn't it? I wanted one. Did you want one? If you did maybe we could start a club. You know, something with a secret handshake. My dad said we could even use the storage shed out back as a clubhouse. So whattaya say? Fine, but you're missing out. My mom always makes snacks for me when I'm done playing in the yard. Oftentimes accompanied by, oh I don't know, a piping-cold glass of chocolate milk!
So this is a video of what a transparent laptop display would look like. IT IS NOT REAL, it's just been rendered with a little green-screen magic so you could imagine the possibilities. Which, I've got to admit, seem pretty unexciting. "Holy staplers, that's my desk! I can see my desk through the monitor!" That said, it's cool and I'd buy one if it was the same price as a regular monitor. It would be good for taking notes in class while still managing to sneak a peek at the girl that sits in front of you. The one you've had a crush on the whole semester. You know, the one you finally managed to muster up enough courage to ask out on a date, but mid-conversation you very audibly tooted because you were so nervous and she ran away to her friends laughing? *sniffle* Yeah, that one.
Transparent Display Concept Proves There's a Use For Anything [gizmodo]
Apr 28 2008 Is This What A Real Bowser Would Look Like?
After all the interest in the realistic Mario, Homer, and Jessica Rabbit, German artist Marcus Blättermann decided to create a realistic looking Bowser by painting him in Photoshop.
Some weeks ago Pixeloo did his great untoonings of Mario and Homer. This inspired me to try something similar. Like Pixeloo I also wanted to use Photoshop. But I didn't wanted to use any Photos. I just wanted to paint the whole thing. In Addition I not just wanted to lay a realistic texture over the original figure, but to rework the forms and proportions as well, to get the whole creature a more realistic look. This isn't a untooning of bowser, it's a redesign. How would he look like if he would be a real animal.
Not bad. Kind of reminds me of Tokka from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze. Anybody else getting that? Say, is anybody else gonna get the damn door? I'm trying to blog here. I swear I hate all my freaking roommates. They just run around naked like a bunch of little kids and eat all my damn snacks. It's like living back at home again. Oh. Right. MOM! CAN YOU PLEASE DRAG YOUR ASS AWAY FROM THE SOAP OPERAS FOR TWO SECONDS AND ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR! Oh look, your youngest son is shitting on the carpet again. I TOLD YOU HE'S BEEN STEALING MY SNACK PACKS.
Two more close-ups after the jump.
Continue Reading " Is This What A Real Bowser Would Look Like? "
Apr 28 2008 I-Doser Is Allegedly Like Drugs For Your Ears, I Am (Un)Surprisingly Very, Very Skeptical
I-Doser is some program you download and it plays music that synchronizes with your brainwaves or something and makes you feel like your own drugs. I could be completely wrong here, because I didn't actually read anything about it, but I'll post some of their captivating marketing bullshit here:
Using proven, scientific, and safe methods of synchronizing your brainwaves, a simulated state can be achieved through the use of our advanced Binaural Methods.I-Doser for the PC is the most advanced computer application available to achieve a simulated mood or experience through the use of binaural beats. Use I-Doser to play doses purchased through the I-Doser store. Each Dose is scientifically designed to give you the optimal measure of beats Safely and Effectively to induce state.
Now maybe someone can explain that to me. I didn't download the program (despite the two free dose offer), so this isn't a definitive review. However, my tipster (who I have never met but would definitely trust with my life) had this to say about the experience:
i tried "marijuana" and i bashed my head open on a shelf! ahhaha
Well after hearing that I decided that I would at least listen to a few of the I-Doser sample tracks. So I clicked "Sample" button and then selected "Trip". I'm pretty sure it was ripped directly from a Sounds of the Rainforest CD. Then I tried "Orgasm", which was a track of a woman making sounds unlike anything I've ever heard. And no, it's not because I suck in the sack, although I do. It's just because I had a bad experience with an over-talkative ex-girlfriend (read: monster pie-hole, nonstop yap attack) and now date mute chicks exclusively.
Thanks to Elizabeth, who is way cooler than drugs could ever be, for the tip
Apr 28 2008 Uno Cycle Looks Like It Has One Wheel, But Actually Has Two (They're Side By Side!)
Now I'm not here to start an argument over who came up with the first one wheeled motorcycle, so, for simplicity, we'll just assume that I did. Anyways, this is the Uno (which is not as cool as the Wild Card I built), a two wheeled motorcycle that has the wheels placed side by side. Oh snap! It was designed and built by 18-year-old Ben J. Poss Gulak, who is probably a genius. It stays upright thanks to advanced gyroscopic technology and a powerful sorcerer using black magic.
Operation of the 54.4 kg (120 lb) machine is simple, in fact it's so simple there are no controls except for an on-off switch. To go forward you simply push your body weight forward to tilt the machine. To back up, just lean back on the seat to tilt it backwards and back it goes. The farther you lean, the faster it accelerates. The gyro tells the ECU how much to accelerate and that in turn delivers the proper amount of current to the electric motors, one for each wheel.
Wow, that's pretty cool. Too bad you look goofy as hell riding it. Still, my hat is off to Ben for being able to create something so amazing at 18. God knows the only thing I was making at 18 were bongs out of 2-liter bottles. Regardless, I think we can all agree the Uno brings new meaning to the phrase "crotch rocket", doesn't it? HAHAHA HAHAHA! What's that -- it doesn't? Well shit.
Several more pictures of the machine after the jump.
Apr 28 2008 Acoustic Drum Machine Is A-Okay In My Book
Sure I could make beats with a drum synthesizer on the computer, but honestly, that's a little too digital for my tastes. Now I know what you're thinking: short of actually playing the drums, how can I get around this obstacle? Simple -- you make little robotic drums out of coffee cans, toss those mothers in a bomb-looking briefcase, make sure there's lots of sketchy wires hanging out, and then have them controlled by MIDI from a sequencer. And as easy as that you have your own acoustic drum machine. Pretty awesome, huh? I thought so. But I actually posted this though because I'm acting as matchmaker for Little Yellow Drum Machine, and I think this briefcase is right up his alley. What do you think my little robotic friend? *tink tink ta tink TINK* Ha, he said he'd attack that ass like a gong. Do I know him or what?
Thanks to the self proclaimed King of the Computer Geeks, for the tip
Apr 28 2008 Word Clock: But I Never Learned To Read!
If you've been keeping up with Geekologie for a while then you know we've seen a number of different clocks that tell time with words instead of digits. Well designer Hans Tan felt none of those were verbose enough, and thus created the Idea of a Clock II (I've got the feeling someone punched the shit out of Idea of a Clock I and broke it). As you can see it has a whole bunch of words on it, less than half of which have anything to do with the actual time. So you just have to jump to the end to get your fix. Like you people that skip to the end of posts to read the joke and not all this awesome fluff. The clocks are limited edition and you have to contact Hans to get a price quote. Which is code for way too freaking expensive for an LED bulletin board. That said, I'm stealing this idea and making my own damn clock. It's gonna be called Idea of a Laser Clock and it'll basically be a piece of plywood with a laser attached and the following words painted on in bright red:
This is the idea
of a laser clock
that tells you
the time with lasers
at exactly
now a powerful burning laser
is zapping you in the nads.
Makes a great alarm too.
world clock is a little too verbose for me [technabob]
