Apr 18 2008 Jet Car Driver: Must Be Handsome, Charming

Ed Shadle and Keith Zanghi are two nutjobs that want to break the 800 mph land speed record in the US. To achieve such a breakneck speed they've built the North American Eagle -- a jet car powered by a 1957 Lockheed F-104 Starfighter's 42,500 horsepower engine. The damn thing eats 160 gallons of fuel a minute and costs $16,000 in gas every run. Now I can think of better ways to spend my money, but whatever, I have no record-breaking dreams.

Now the couple is having trouble finding sponsors because no one is interested in two old codgers that built a rocket car, they want a handsome, charismatic daredevil. So now the team is looking for one. You must be between the ages of 20-40, and photogenic. Death wish preferred, but not required. If you want to give it a go send a 400-word email to landspeedracing@gmail.com explaining why you're the man for the job, and attach a photo. Now here's a great idea -- how about getting a woman to drive it? That'll certainly garner some publicity. Think about what Danica Patrick did for racing. I can honestly say I had never masturbated to an IndyCar event before she started. Now I'll even do it to a Nascar Truck Series race. What was my point here? Oh right, a woman. I love women.

Just to give you an idea of how touch with reality these two guys are, Shadle told the Times Online, "It's a lot of fun to drive, but if my age is stopping us getting sponsors, we have to remove that barrier. We'll put some hotshot in the driving seat who looks like Robert Redford and see how that works." Wow, Shadle, wow. The last time I checked (which was 30 seconds ago), Robert Redford was 71 and had a grandfatherly look about him. Not sure that's the look sponsors were going for. Unless, of course, you were referring to Redford in 1969's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. In which case I loved his mustache in that movie. Wish I could grow one like that, I'd sell rides.

Driver wanted for jet car: must be young, fearless, good looking [dvice]

Apr 18 2008 u-BOT 5 Robot Designed To Help The Elderly

Well folks, it looks like today turned into robot day at Geekologie. You're cool with that aren't you? You do love robots, right? Because if you don't I'll tell them, and when they take over the world you'll be seriously f'd. Possibly in the a, and almost certainly with something metal. Anyway, u-BOT 5 is a robot designed by researchers at the University of Massachusetts. It may be the missing upper half of the homeless robot and was made to help old people should something happen to them. Its capabilities include "picking up small objects, dialing 911 and even using a stethoscope to check vitals." It packs a webcam, microphone, LCD touchscreen, WiFi, and could potentially be used to make virtual housecalls . As you can see from the picture, if you ever fall and can't get up there's nothing to fear when uBOT-5 is near. He'll just wheel himself over and, uh, kidney punch the shit out of you with his little ball-hands.

uBOT-5 Makes Life Alert Look like Crap [gizmodo]

Apr 18 2008 Carlos The Homeless Robot Pushes A Cart, Lacks A Body Above His Legs, And Is On Fire

Carlos is a robot that was built as a college project that asked how robots could benefit the less fortunate. How this robot does that is a mystery to me.

Carlos was a college kinetic sculpture project. I was interested in the concept of automating aspects of society that were considered not so "glamorous". Robotics are often used in environments which are considered dangerous to humans. Deep sea exploration, nuclear cleanup and volcanism are some of the "higher profile" adverse environments which robots are used. My question was, "What about other dangerous or hazardous areas?". For example, homeless people live in extremely dangerous environments. Shouldn't there be automated equipment used by this strata of society?

Of course there should be automated equipment for the homeless. Companies will finally be able to tap into the disposable income of the elusive homeless demographic. And clearly robots are a natural product choice. Think about it -- what does a homeless person need? A home? A hot shower? Maybe a warm meal? No, a scary torso-less robot that's on fire (wtf!?) and pushes a shopping cart. It just makes sense -- pushing a cart is clearly the most significant hardship facing the homeless community today.

A little picture explaining the robot's setup after the jump.

Continue Reading " Carlos The Homeless Robot Pushes A Cart, Lacks A Body Above His Legs, And Is On Fire "

Apr 18 2008 Sunlight Poem Projector Is Brilliant, Beautiful

The One Day Poem Pavilion is cool and proof that the sun is smarter than you think. By sending his rays through an arrangement of pre-cut perforations he makes poems appear in the shadow of the little pavilion. You only get to see one stanza at a time, so it takes a good while to read an entire poem (worthwhile time lapse video here).

Using a complex array of perforations, the pavilion's surface allows light to pass through creating shifting patterns, which-during specific times of the year-transform into the legible text of a poem. The specific arrangements of the perforations reveal different shadow-poems according to the solar calendar: a theme of new-life during the summer solstice, a reflection on the passing of time at the period of the winter solstice.

That's beautiful. If I had any talent for building things I'd be tempted to construct one in the backyard with a little bench and maybe a garden gnome. No, a whole family of garden gnomes. I love those ornery little bastards. Well, except for papa gnome -- he's always trying to steal vegetables out of my garden. Plant some yourself you lazy freaking cheeseweasel!

Another picture of the pavilion's poetic beauty and a link to the time lapse video (in case you missed the link in the text), after the jump.

Continue Reading " Sunlight Poem Projector Is Brilliant, Beautiful "

Apr 18 2008 iPod Case Looks Meaty, Doesn't Come Cheap

The Mosquito Ruby Pod Rare is an iPod case that looks like it's made of meat. Because, well, some people are sick. It comes packaged like a real steak and costs, get this -- $68! Holy shanksteak, that's a lot for a freaking rubber iPod cover. For $68 I'd expect a filet mignon from the last flying unicorn in Fairyland.

Protect your iPod with exposed, pulsating musculature [bbgadgets]

Apr 18 2008 Chill Stick Looks Like Cue Case, Holds Beer

The Chill Stick ($12) is a neoprene sleeve that keeps six beers cold and looks like the case for a pool cue. That way you can sneak beer into places that have pool tables. Namely bars. Screw paying $2.25 a beer when you can bring your own. Am I right? I am. Same principal goes for outside food and drink at the movie theater. They tell you not to do it, but everybody does. But does everybody throw moistened Jujubes at the screen to see if they'll stick? No, because that's a waste of good candy. So yeah, the Chill Stick. Not sure if the floating arm comes with it or you have to buy that separately, but $12 for both would be a steal.

Chill Stick Disguises A Six Pack [ohgizmo]

Apr 18 2008 Trashcan Robot Is Useless, I Want It Anways

Mr. Push is a trashcan robot that can tell jokes, roll dice, and beat himself in the head with his crablike legs. He was a contender in the Baka RoboCup 2007 competition, in which robots vie to be the least useful but most entertaining. Mr. Push did well, but didn't win. A couple of noteworthy parts in the video:

0:37 This is what I do when I can't find anything worth posting on Geekologie.
1:32 He mocks some guy while waving his penis at him.
2:20 He rolls a 6.
3:45 His little robotic M&M friend (OniRoppo) humps a Roomba.

So precious.

Pusk-kun: Screwy robot trash can [pinktentacle]

Apr 18 2008 Wirepod: A Sexy Looking Surge Protector

Here at Geekologie we've seen several different products that address wiring, but nothing as wrought iron looking as this thing. The Wirepod is a bendable surge protector that adds a touch of class to an otherwise hideous device. Pretty sexy looking right? It sure is. Well, until it's got five ugly-ass power cords trailing off in different directions. Then it looks like shit.

More pictures after the jump, including one with something plugged in.

Continue Reading " Wirepod: A Sexy Looking Surge Protector "

Apr 17 2008 Flogos Are Logos That Float Like Clouds

You know when you go to the beach there are those little planes that fly over with the signs trailing behind that tell about awesome all you can eat shrimp deals? I love those. But that's not what these are, these are another sky-based advertising scheme. They're called Flogos, and they're soap bubble formations filled with helium that float your logo around like a balloon. They can be made in 24", 36", and soon to be 46" diameters using some sort of modified artificial snow machine (see videos of them being made here) at a rate of one Flogo every 15 seconds. Each can travel up to 30 miles and go as high as 20,000 feet. Dyed Flogos will be available sometime in 2009, but aren't as cool as Zubbles. Let's see, what else? Oh, rental of a machine starts at about $2,500/day. Which is a lot for logo shaped clouds that, after an hour, disintegrate into a messy foam party in Cancun where I got an eye infection and lost a sandal.

Flogos Site
via
Is it a bird? A plane? No, it's a Flogo! [msnbc]

Thanks to Chad, who floats like a butterfly and stings like a taser to the face, for the tip

Apr 17 2008 Warmth And Privacy While Using Your Laptop

I'm pretty sure a similar version of this was on the site a while ago, but I couldn't find it so I'm posting this version anyways (if somebody can find the old post I'll link to it here and give you a shoutout. Something like: and thanks to Sherlock _____ for their awesome detective skills and wicked pipe.) Besides, this one has the little handwarmer addition, and I feel the other didn't. A brief description of the project:

Our interactions with personal electronic devices provoke a broad range of emotional states from frustration to confusion to feverish obsession. Increasingly, these devices mediate our everyday work activities, our social network development and our personal communications. In this paper, we propose a participatory installation that aims to bring critical awareness and consideration to the complex relationship between people and their technological artifacts. These 'Body-Technology Interfaces,' (BTIs) in the form of hand-knitted custom wrappers for personal electronic devices, will reflect salient interaction behaviors between the participant and their chosen device.

HAHA, I pissed away thirty seconds reading that and now you did too. No word on what the person that wrote that was smoking, but if I can get my hands on some I'll let you know and we can sit in the park and get f to the ucked up. Maybe throw the frisbee around for a little bit. Seriously though, if you need privacy at your laptop I've got three words for you: Take your pantsoff. And if people don't start filing out immediately, then maybe you don't need privacy after all. *wink* You catch my drift? I'm talking about an orgy. I think. I actually have no idea, I've only seen them in movies.

UPDATE: Pictures of the old units I was talking about located thanks to several detectives, those pictures added at the bottom of the jump.

A bunch more pictures, includes a couple of just the hand warmers, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Warmth And Privacy While Using Your Laptop "

Apr 17 2008 Another Kid Gets Stuck In A Claw Machine

Do you remember the story from two years ago where the kid in Wisconsin climbed into a crane game trying to score a free Spongebob? If not here's a link to it, and that's actually a picture of him there. Well folks, it happened again, and this time in Australia in a game called Lucky Dip. Weird I was just talking about my love of crane games yesterday don't you think? Coincidence or superpower? You decide. Anyway, there's a video of the amazing rescue (taking off the side of the machine) after the jump. Although I think that was a little over the top. Not to brag or anything, but I could have snagged the little bugger by the head with a single quarter. Sure it wouldn't have done anything seeing how he's just standing in the prize chute, but it would have taught his parents a valuable lesson. A lesson about not stuffing your child into a vending machine for a "time out".

Video of the action packed after the jump.

Continue Reading " Another Kid Gets Stuck In A Claw Machine "

Apr 17 2008 More Fuel For Your Custom Handpainted Shoe Hating Fire: Mario Airwalks For Kids

Knowing how much some of you love bashing the everliving hell out of handpainted shoes, I thought I'd throw these bad boys up so you could get your daily painted shoe-hating fetish out of the way so we can spend the rest of our time together this afternoon discussing more mature topics like dingalings and how much my wife/girlfriends drive me nuts. So here they are, a pair of kid's size 2 1/2 Airwalks with custom Mario paintjob. They were still for sale on eBay yesterday, but have since sold for $45 plus $12 shipping. I almost bought them last night when I was looking at them, but then I remembered my parents didn't bind my feet when I was a child. And I'm thankful for that, and you should be too.

eBay Auction

Thanks to Tosha, sweet as honeysuckle but even better smelling, for the tip

Continue Reading " More Fuel For Your Custom Handpainted Shoe Hating Fire: Mario Airwalks For Kids "

Apr 17 2008 It's About Time: Massage Pants Are Here!

These are massage pants from the Wenzhou Wonderful Massage Equipment Company. What do they do for you? Well I'll tell you, by copy/pasting the product features.

Product Features: * Built-7 group of super vibration massage, a scientific and rational allocation * Ring far infrared heaters, automatic temperature control, safe and reliable *A variety of massage * Automatic mode * Automatic regularly work 20 minutes * High-performance rechargeable batteries for exclusive use, energy, security

You know, looking at them I could tell they had a scientific and rational allocation of vibration massage. And that makes me really want some. Just a heads up though, I don't think these are technically pants. Because pants are usually longer. These look more like shorts. Shorts that are missing some fabric in the front. You know, so your balls hang out. Wow, these are even awesomer than I first thought. Unfortunately there's a 500 pair minimum order. Anybody want to go halvsies?

Product Page

Thanks to Zachary, who doesn't need massage pants because he's got a harem that does his massaging for him, for the tip

Apr 17 2008 Ultrasonic Dish Washer Looks Funny, Cleans

The SWV-08AM Megasonic Cleaning Device is a poorly named kitchen appliance that's supposed to blast your plates clean with the amazing power of sonic, that lovable blue hedgehog that can roll up in a ball and do loopty-loops and collect rings. I'm not entirely sure how it works, but the thing can allegedly "eliminate all the disgusting dirt and agrochemicals on the surface of everything from fruit to frying pans with little or no detergent." Plus it has a "P-Sediment" filter, so you don't have to worry about any urine stains on your dishes. No word on price, but I'm guessing expensive. And that's not even factoring in the cost of your grandmother's china that it breaks. You can't just go around sonic-booming fine porcelain, that shit's delicate.

Let sound waves do the dishes [crave]

Thanks to Huevo, an integral component of delicious Huevos Rancheros, for the tip

Apr 17 2008 I Want: Dangerous House Keeps You Young

The Lifespan Extending Villa is a house designed by artists Madeline Gins (!) and Arakawa. It was built in East Hampton, and cost about $2 million to complete. It looks like a giant playground, and I want it. The idea is that constantly being on guard against falling serves as a secret fountain of youth.

In addition to the floor, which threatens to send the un-sure-footed hurtling into the sunken kitchen at the center of the house, the design features walls painted, somewhat disorientingly, in about 40 colors; multiple levels meant to induce the sensation of being in two spaces at once; windows at varying heights; oddly angled light switches and outlets; and an open flow of traffic, unhindered by interior doors or their adjunct, privacy.

All of it is meant to keep the occupants on guard. Comfort, the thinking goes, is a precursor to death; the house is meant to lead its users into a perpetually "tentative" relationship with their surroundings, and thereby keep them young.

Man that is so awesome. I've always wanted to live in a treehouse with rope swings and cargo nets and all that good shit, so this is definitely a step in the right direction. Besides, the house makes you live longer. You just trip over a floor nipple, beat your face into something hard, and presto, you're freaking Methuselah. Simple as that.

Hit the jump for several more pictures of the wackiness, including one of James trying to escape the giant peach.

Continue Reading " I Want: Dangerous House Keeps You Young "

Apr 17 2008 Wooden Laptops Just Make Good Sense

Wood should be the computer component material of choice. It's lightweight, a great heat conductor, and some of the best processors and video cards are made out of the stuff. Okay, maybe none of those things. Still, wood is cool. And that's exactly what Fujitsu hopes people will think about their new Woodshell computer concept. As you can see, it's a wooden laptop nestled inside a hemp bag. Oh look, the keyboard is green. *sniff sniff* Is that patchouli I smell? I don't know about you, but I'm sold.

Fujitsu Cuts Down Trees to Make a Laptop [uberreview]

Apr 16 2008 I Am Sad Today

While we always have a good time and joke around here on Geekologie, I'd like to take a minute to be serious.

Today marks one year since the Virginia Tech tragedy. It seems like yesterday. I was on my way to campus when my wife (who was starting a new job on campus that day) called me and told me to get back home. Someone in her office was listening in on the police channel, so they had a pretty good idea of what was going on. We both received our bachelors and masters degrees from Virginia Tech (finished last spring), and have remained in Blacksburg and work for the school. A lot of people in the community continue to struggle. Please take a minute to remember the victims, their families, and all those still trying to cope.

R.I.P. Ross A. Alameddine, Christopher James Bishop, Brian R. Bluhm, Ryan Christopher Clark, Austin Michelle Cloyd, Jocelyne Couture-Nowak, Kevin P. Granata, Matthew Gregory Gwaltney, Caitlin Millar Hammaren, Jeremy Michael Herbstritt, Rachael Elizabeth Hill, Emily Jane Hilscher, Jarrett Lee Lane, Matthew Joseph La Porte, Henry J. Lee, Liviu Librescu, G.V. Loganathan, Partahi Mamora Halomoan Lumbantoruan, Lauren Ashley McCain, Daniel Patrick O'Neil, Juan Ramon Ortiz-Ortiz, Minal Hiralal Panchal, Daniel Alejandro Perez Cueva, Erin Nicole Peterson, Michael Steven Pohle, Jr., Julia Kathleen Pryde, Mary Karen Read, Reema Joseph Samaha, Waleed Mohamed Shaalan, Leslie Geraldine Sherman, Maxine Shelly Turner, Nicole Regina White

:,(

Apr 16 2008 Tetris Arm Wrestling Is Freaking Awesome

Tresling is a combination of Tetris and arm wrestling. You have a button to push with your free hand that rotates your tetrads, but you have to beat your opponent's arm against a sensor in order to move it in one direction (and against your own sensor to move it in the opposite). You each have your own game going, so a typical game consists of two people beating each other's arm around like maniacs. Which is awesome. Man if they sold these systems I'd buy one today. That's right, I like beating my wife at arm wrestling to make myself feel good. This game would be perfect because she's no good at Tetris either, so it'd be a double boost to the ol' ego.

Oh, and I hoping this guy has really weak arms, otherwise there's no reason to bother holding a Tresling World Championship.

MUST SEE VIDEO of the system in action after the jump.

Continue Reading " Tetris Arm Wrestling Is Freaking Awesome "

Apr 16 2008 Tree Man Of Java Looks Like A Tree, Ent

This isn't geeky, but it is awesome, if only in a freakish, sad kind of way. Dede Koswara, 37, is known as the 'Tree Man of Java' because he looks like a tree (those are his actual feet at the bottom of the picture). He has an extremely rare immune deficiency that prevents his body from fighting HPV, resulting in massive growths of bark-like warts. Sick, I know. Over 4lbs of the stuff has already been removed, and now he hopes to get married soon. Not to a bush or shrub either, but a woman. His first wife left him after he got so covered that he couldn't work any more. We all wish you a speedy recovery and healthy living from here on out, Dede. You deserve a good woman after everything you've been through. If I knew of any I'd send them your way, but I don't. All the chicks I know are strumpets, strippers, or psychopaths.

Be thankful everyone.

Several more uncensored pictures and a VIDEO after the jump, but be warned: they're pretty unnerving.

Continue Reading " Tree Man Of Java Looks Like A Tree, Ent "

Apr 16 2008 Album Cover Bento Looks Good, I'd Hit Eat It

Just a couple weeks ago we had some good looking Mario themed bento on the site, and now I think it's time to show you these album cover inspired dishes. Pretty good looking, huh? I thought so. The Rage one was made with "egg, paprika, nori (seaweed sheet), kamaboko (fish sausage), carrot, potato, ham, black sesame, and rice." Jimi was made much simpler, with just nori, paprika (red & orange), egg, and rice. I'd eat them. No, I'd eat the hell out of them. And I'm not just saying that because I fell down the basement stairs (breaking my back) and have been lying here in a heap at the bottom ever since. But I have been, and my girlfriend hasn't come over in two days. Not that she can cook worth a damn anyways, but I'm not too proud for frozen Eggos. Or medical attention.

Click the jump for several more, (including some Weezer, Kiss, and King Crimson) along with a link to the website with TONS more.

Continue Reading " Album Cover Bento Looks Good, I'd Hit Eat It "

Apr 16 2008 Japanese Cigarette Machine Asks For Your ID

You have to be 20 to smoke in Japan, but that hasn't stopped those younger than that from buying cigarettes (but not pot or other meds) from machines (which, unlike awesome robots, can't discern age). So now the Tobacco Institute of Japan has started rolling out machines that will only work after a "tobacco passport" age-verification card is swiped. What prevents Japanese schoolgirls from getting somebody else's card is very little, so I wonder how effective these will be. But what do I know? Did you say jack shit? Then you are absolutely correct, knew him in college. Well, his birth name is Jackamo Crapatonian, that was just a clever nickname we came up with.

Japanese Schoolgirl Watch: Tobacco Vending Machines Block Underage Smokers [wired]

Thanks to Melissa, who doesn't need an ID because everyone knows her, for the tip

Apr 16 2008 Eye Candy: Awesome Super Mario Galaxy Wii

We've seen several good looking Wii mods here on Geekologie, but modder Ramon might very well do it best. Ramon is the same guy that whipped up the awesome Zelda Wii, along with several other mods (be sure to check out the Samus Wii and Legend of Zelda DS). Now he's back with a wicked Super Mario Galaxy Wii. The console took over 100 hours of work and planning and features a backlit Super Mario Galaxy marquee, flashing star LEDs countersunk into both sides, integrated remote holders, battery charger, plaque dedicated to Miyamoto for his awesome work on the Mario series, and several retro Super Mario sound effects triggered by pushing the Wii's buttons. Be sure to hit the jump for pictures of the other side, along with a video demonstrating the flashing stars and sound effects. The unit is for sale on eBay, and is currently at $710 with over 4 days remaining. 15% of the winning bid will be donated to Child's Play Charity, which is awesome. Now if I can just find an easy way to procure a few thousand dollars, that Wii is mine.

UPDATE: Greetings from the county jail! Remember kids, crime doesn't pay unless you don't get caught (I got caught).

More pictures and a video, along with a link to the auction with a TON more pics, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Awesome Super Mario Galaxy Wii "

Apr 16 2008 Cyborg Keyboard: Not A Rocket Control Panel

The Cyborg Keyboard can't assimilate worth a damn but it does have glowing keys. The peripheral allows you to mix shades of color from red to amber to green and the hue will glow through all the letters. In addition to all the colorwheel fun, it's got 12 programmable "Cyborg' keys (the ones on the far sides), tough metal-caps in high-use gaming areas, and a Cyborg mode that configures the keyboard to your preferred gaming settings with the push of a button. Plus it looks like something off a spaceship. So you can sit in front of it and make rocket noises and shit and feel like a real spaceman. If, of course, real spacemen sit at their computers going "beepity beep beep", and "pew-pew" in their boxers. Which they don't, so you'll just feel like an asshat. Unless you're high, in which case that'd be awesome.

'Cyborg' keyboard lives up to its name [crave]

Thanks to Huevo, who rocks a pair of monster eggs, for the tip

Apr 16 2008 Guy Proposes To Girlfriend Via Hacked Video Game, She Says Yes, My Wife Divorces Me

Bernie Ping is a computer programmer that proposed to his girlfriend Tammy Li by hacking her favorite game, Bejeweled. After she reached a certain score a special screen with the message popped up, and she said yes. PopCap, the maker of the game, was surprisingly unpissed (companies typically discourage hacking their games), and is even flying the couple to Seattle as part of their honeymoon and handing out copies of the game to wedding guests.

Wow, that's so awesome. But not nearly as awesome as the way my girlfriend thought I was proposing to her. I'll tell you about it. You see, my girlfriend and I were really big into those claw machines (crane games) where you try to pick up stuffed animals and dump them down a chute. Well some of the machines in the bars around here have jewelry and other crap stuffed in there. So there we were playing when I noticed there was already something in the prize chute. I told my girlfriend to investigate, and it was a little ring box. She started tearing up as she removed it, thinking I was proposing. You should have seen the look on her face when she opened it up and it was a chintzy key fob -- priceless.

From matching gems to the perfect match [yahoo]

Thanks to Alastair, who no woman could refuse, for the tip

Apr 15 2008 DIY Security System Is Awesomely Dangerous

I love DIY projects. Especially ones that involve automatic weaponry. So needless to say this one's a hit in my book. Hanif Molavizadeh, an Afghani citizen, rigged up this little security system to keep his home safe from unwelcome guests. If the system's alarm is tripped it dials Hanif's cellphone, which he then uses to talk to the intruders via speaker phone. If that's not enough, he can remotely fire a few rounds from the AK-47. Oh hell yes! During a test run Halif "forgot" to remove the live ammo, and a bullet shot through his window and ricocheted off a neighbor's place. I say "forgot" because I'm pretty confident that was just Mr. Molavizadeh's way of letting the neighbor's know not to f*** with his stuff. Now, not to fire my own assault rifle or anything, but I definitely had the idea of booby-trapping the doors in my house with guns a long time ago. Unfortunately I read a story about how that's illegal. And now I can see why -- I accidentally killed the cat-sitter.

Kalashnikov Equipped Burglar Alarm [uberreview]

Apr 15 2008 RC Car Does 200+ MPH, Is Moderately Fast

This is an older video of a tether car doing 200+ MPH on a circular track. At first I thought the guy in the video was participating in a bat-spin race, but then I realized he was whipping the car around to get it started. Watch the video till the end to see the thing really get up to speed. Pretty impressive. Now I'm not suggesting someone stick their leg out in front of it to see what happens when the car or wire hits it, but for the sake of science it is necessary to know whether you can cut a person's leg clean off with an RC car.

200mph mini-dragster screams around circular track [dvice]

Apr 15 2008 Robotic Heart Surgery Snake Is Mad Scary

Scientists (or at least people that wear those awesome white lab coats) at Carnegie Mellon University recently unveiled the CardioArm. It's a snake looking robot that was created to aid during heart surgery.

CardioArm is a jointed robot, allowing you to control its head while the rest of its joints follow exactly where the head has been to avoid any accidental internal injuries. The robot wraps itself around the heart until it finds what it's sent inside the body for (i.e., to remove damaged tissues).

They're still working on getting the size of the robot down, and hope to eventually create a unit that can fit inside blood vessels and requires no incision to enter the body. That's right folks, I'm talking about swallowing one.

These modifications include the ability of the robot to pass through natural openings like the mouth, as well creating a model with multiple tentacles able to enter through a single opening, but branch out to where they're supposed to go once inside the body.

So yeah, swallowing a multiple-tentacle robotic snake/octopus. Not too sure how I feel about that. Except for holy shit, I'm going to start eating right and exercising more.

Uncensored picture of the the snake winding through some body part, after the jump.

Continue Reading " Robotic Heart Surgery Snake Is Mad Scary "

Apr 15 2008 Designer Gas Masks Are Freaking Nuts

This is a set of designer gas masks made for rich people that need protection from lethal gases in the coming apocalypse. Because if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that Louis Vuitton accessories are a must when you've been attacked with poison gas. Unfortunately these are not real commercial products, they're gallery pieces. I'm not sure which gallery, but I imagine it also has a 24K fallout shelter and diamond studded tank. As you may have noticed, I got creative with the picture there and pasted the white mask with the cross over the other two, making it the Holy Trinity of gas maskery. I thought Jesus would appreciate that touch.

Bigger pictures of the individual masks after the jump.

Continue Reading " Designer Gas Masks Are Freaking Nuts "

Apr 15 2008 Custom Painted Iron Man Shoes From Same Guy That Brought Us Marvel Vs. DC Shoes

Remember yesterday's Marvel vs. DC shoes? Ha, how could you forget, you ripped the shit out of them you heartless animals. Anyway, the creator of those has made several other custom pairs, including these with an Iron Man motif. They're size 10 only, so if you're any other size you're out of luck, unless you don't actually want to wear them. My girlfriend has two different sized feet. HA, I said it, now everybody knows! She tries to sneak one 8 1/2 and one 9 into a box when she buys shoes, but they always check! You know what she has to do? She has to get 9's and wear a sock on the small foot. HAHA HA AHA AH AHAH!

Hit the jump for close ups of Iron Man and a link to his other shoe auctions, which include a Spider Man/Venom/Carnage pair, along with a few alien raygun ones.

Continue Reading " Custom Painted Iron Man Shoes From Same Guy That Brought Us Marvel Vs. DC Shoes "

Apr 15 2008 Mario Theme Played With RC Car And Bottles

In this world there are two kinds of things: those that are awesome, and those that make me want to kill myself. This is an awesome one. AN AWESOMELY AWsome one. That was me yelling. I know, I'm a little hoarse (but not the kind that kids ride around at birthday parties, those ones smell and shit everywhere. Actually, maybe I am). This is a video of an RC car playing the Super Mario theme by driving by and hitting bottles with a little metal whacker. I've watched it ten times and it's still cool. I can't believe the guy can drive the car that straight. Or that they found an empty parking garage to do it in. The parking garage around here is a scary place. The last time I had to store my car there I saw no less than two vagrants peeing in corners, some raunchy couple doing it in the back of a compact car, and what may or may not have been a dead hooker stuffed under an SUV (I didn't have the courage to poke her with my tire iron).

Youtube

A big thanks to Daniel and Tombo, both of whom could write books about being cool, for the tips

Apr 15 2008 Dope: Gold NES With Triforce Window Mod

Damnit, I hate it when this happens. You find a sick Nintendo painted the same gold as the original Zelda cartridges (if you don't know about those I'm afraid we can't be friends), complete with custom cut-out Triforce window on top, and, just my luck -- the freaking eBay auction has already ended! Woe is me. The console even has a green LED power button (as a tribute to Link's clothing), a yellow LED that makes the Triforce glow, and backlit Nintendo logos on the controllers. And it sold for $52 (plus $15 shipping)! Talk about a disappointment.

And you know what else is disappointing? The open bar situation at the wedding I went to this weekend. No liquor! All the beer and wine you wanted, but none of the good stuff. I couldn't believe it. How am I supposed to dance without some high-octane life juice? I was so desperate I almost drank a bottle of isopropyl alcohol I found in the supply closet. That said, after 14 beers and a couple glasses of wine I did actually make it out onto the dance floor. Except there was no dancing going on! I look up, and the next thing I know, I've caught the bouquet. Two bridesmaids team-punched me in the neck and tried to snatch it. So I gave them the ol' 1-2-roundhouse kick. Their dresses were hideous anyways.

If you're sad about the Nintendo not being available there's still this piece of crap available for $60.

The guy says the pictures suck because his camera is broken and he had to take them with his phone. More shit-quality photos, and a link to the auction, after the jump.

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Apr 15 2008 Tetris Decals Add Blocky Flair To Your Abode

Seller "Fame" is selling sets of these Tetris Wall Decals for on Etsy for $42. You get two tetrads each of seven different colors and can arrange them however you please. They'd go great alongside your Tetris shelves, Tetris mirrors, breakfast (with iced orange juice), or furniture. I recommend buying several sets, since this "Fame" character on Etsy is actually me trying to make a quick buck off Tetris lovers. And don't go getting the idea that you can make these yourself, my house nearly blew up twice during the manufacturing process. Just kidding, that was the meth lab.

One more picture of what you get after the jump.

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Apr 14 2008 MonoTracer Covered Motorcycles For Sale

The MonoTracer looks like a covered motorcycle. And that's pretty much what it is. It features an aerodynamic cockpit that reduces the bike's drag, and seats two (one behind the other). It looks alright. Its 130 horsepower engine gets it going to 60 in 5.7 seconds and maxes out at 155 MPH. Now I know what you're thinking -- the Geekologie writer is a total wanker. And you're right, I am. The MonoTracer will set you back a staggering $82,350 and are available now. I don't need one though. Nope, I need two. That way I have a backup in case I crash the other trying to jump over my neighbor's house during a stunt spectacular. Don't worry though, they have a pool in the backyard for me to land in.

UPDATE: Greetings from the ICU! I guess it's the other neighbors with a pool.

A bunch more pictures of the bike (including some action shots), after the jump.

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Apr 14 2008 The Real Sumo Fighting Series Made Me Sick

This is a sumo wrestling video. A "real" sumo fight. You get to see the lightning, snow storms, fireballs other shit they call from the heavens in order to defeat their opponent. It's questionable. It may even be CG. One thing is certain though -- don't watch it if you're epileptic. I'm serious about that. It damn near gave me a seizure (starting around 0:50), and I don't have any known health issues (minus chronic headaches caused by the sound of my wife's voice), although epilepsy may run in the family. One time my brother and I were playing Q-Zar laser tag and all the flashing lights caused him to collapse and start spazzing out on the floor. Since he was on the other team I just stood there and shot him repeatedly. I ended up with the high score that round.

Youtube (there's a whole series of these things if you like them)
via
The Real Sumo Fighting [albotas]

Apr 14 2008 LEGO Chess Set Finally Looks Worth Playing

LEGO has had several different chess sets in the past, but they were fairly boring looking. Now they've has ramped it up a notch and is releasing a set that makes playing chess look as fun as two-hand touch football with a bunch of naked cheerleaders. You can pre-order the 2,481 piece (576 of which are the individual shiny block tops on the playfield) set now, and it ships July 1st. Unfortunately it costs $300, making it too rich for my blood. Which, incidentally, is 65% Goldschläger, so that's saying a lot.

Another picture of the set from the opposite side after the jump.

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Apr 14 2008 Halitosis Detector Also Features Alcohol Meter

We featured another stink-breath detector on Geekologie a while ago, but that one didn't have a back-lit screen or breathalyzer, so it sucked. But the Etiquiette Checker ($59) does, so while it still sucks, at least it's the lesser of two suckages. You just blow into the device, and it gives you a score from 1-6, 1 being go French kiss the hottest chick you can find, 6 being you may have just licked a dog's ass. But this marvel doesn't end there, no sir. It also gives you a blood alcohol reading in 0.05 increments (kind of useless). Remember the first time one of your friends got a breathalyzer and you all went out to see who could blow the highest? I do, it was great. I thought for sure I was going to win with a 0.27, but my buddy Shitty Bill ended up blowing us all out of the liquor with a 0.38.

R.I.P. Shitty

UPDATE: Glad this guy wasn't there.

Electronic Etiquette Checker [ohgizmo]

Apr 14 2008 New Space Invaders Game Coming To Wii

A new Space Invaders game (Space Invaders Get Even) is coming out for the Wii later this year. Instead of trying to fend off the pesky bastards, you actually control them in an attempt to dominate the planet.

Using the Nunchuck, you direct a UFO to drop hundreds of aliens on forest, city and military targets, destroying everything in their path. You'll be able to command the invaders to swarm and group in a variety of attack formations.

Well hot damn, it's been awhile since I've done any serious invading. Mostly because the last time I tried making an invasion it didn't go so well. It was the women's locker room, and some buff chick wet-towel whipped me in the eyes before I even saw a tit.

One more screen shot after the jump.

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Apr 14 2008 Marvel Vs. DC Custom Painted Nikes On eBay

Up on the auction block are a pair of custom painted Nike Air Force Ones (size 9.5) featuring Marvel and DC comic book characters. They're currently at $50.99 (reserve not met) with 4 days, 8 hours remaining.

This is a custom pair of Air Force 1s that were handpainted and airbrushed to the highest of standards. This pair features numerous comic book characters from both Marvel and DC. The characters on each shoe actually fight THROUGH the pair! On each pair there is 9 characters. That makes 18 characters on one pair of sneakers. Any one who has some knowledge on sneaker painting knows how tedious it is to paint ONE character! Attention to detail is so incredible, that there were 9 different shades of blue, 6 different shades of red, and much more color variation on each character. Perfect for the comic book fan (apologize to any Robin fans). Perfect for display, but also ready for wear.

Who will win the epic battle of Marvel vs. DC characters? Does Batman die? Will The Punisher punish? Does the Hulk get with Wonder Woman? Will Catwoman and Psylocke tear each other's tops off and wrestle in a kiddy pool of Snack Pack brand pudding (like in my dreams)? Tune in next week to find me passed out on the kitchen floor while my wife stacks empty boxes on my back and a cat pees on my feet.

Several more pictures along with a link to the auction (with even more pictures) after the jump.

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Apr 14 2008 I Want To Be A Pusher When I Grow Up

This is the job I want when I grow up. And no, not because it gives you a great opportunity to cop the occasional feel.

Oshiya, or "pusher", is an informal Japanese term for a worker who stands on the platform of a railway station during the morning and evening rush hours, and pushes people onto the train. This video is a good example of just how crowded it gets on Japanese trains.

Oh man that's great. I love how the pusher starts shoving the guy in the white coat when he's nowhere near the door. So awesome. I could totally do that for a living. I'd love my job so much I'd even go above and beyond the call of duty, constantly honing my ability to efficiently get people on the train. I've already got a few new proprietary techniques in mind. Namely kicking and pile driving.

Youtube

Thanks to Robin, who would make the best pusher sidekick ever, for the tip

Apr 14 2008 Steampunk Star Wars Figurines Aren't Metal!

These are a set of steampunk Star Wars figures made by some guy named Sillof. As you can see, they're steampunky. This guy makes all kinds of custom figures so his site is definitely worth checking out if you're into unique figurines. Nothing on the site is for sale, as Sillof does this strictly as a hobby that helps him relax (I drink beer and yell at the television). I thought R2-D2 (despite his proportions) and C-3PO looked the best, followed by the miniature King Kong figure (in the rear) and Demi Moore as that strumpet from the Scarlet Letter.

A bunch more, including Vader and stormtroopers, as well as a link to Sillof's massive gallery, after the jump.

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