Mar 21 2008Want An Island? Jack Will Build You One
Want your own artificial island? Then you've come to the right place. Because Jack, that dapper assclown in the picture there, will build you one. That's right, for a paltry $400,000 Jack promises a sweet 110 foot movable island. He has an eBay auction going (with a starting bid of $300,000) and very professional website, but this is the only picture I could find. And it's not even of the island, it's his underwater home schematic!
Be the first to own this beautiful, unique 2500 Sq. Ft. home. The home actually sits 20 feet below the ocean's surface under a man made, movable island. What does the interior look like? That's up to you! You have a 50 ft. by 50 ft. square to do with as you please. I build the box, you dice it up however suits you. All the exterior walls are made of bullet proof glass giving you an unprecedented view of life under the sea.. This home can be yours for just $5,000,000!
Now, if you look at the graphic there it all makes sense. As you can see it has all the necessities, like floating squares. And let us not forget about the island surface! That's a must have. Oh look, buoyancy and square are spelled incorrectly. Wow, sending this guy my life savings is looking more and more like the smartest decision I'll ever made.
eBay Auction
and
Product Website
Thanks to GRRR25, king of tiger people, for the tip
Reader Comments
1. Eric - March 21, 2008 6:16 PM
. . . wow
2. chromatic - March 21, 2008 6:48 PM
Uh... you missed http://www.theislandmaker.com/UVG.html - "The Ultimate Vacation Fetaway."
That's classy-with-a-k
3. Kelsey - March 21, 2008 7:49 PM
Anyone see his plan for mideast peace? Simply make an island shaped like Israel! This man is clearly one of the greatest diplomatic thinkers of his time.
4. brigitte - March 21, 2008 8:33 PM
He "devised" this "ingenious" plan from prison... the Mideast Peace initiatives are pretty classic, as well as his plan to stop ice cap melting. Sure, floating platforms increase the temperature water can freeze at... Some delusions of grandeur at work here.
5. polly Pureheart - March 21, 2008 9:28 PM
Ass clown? No sir. Super ass clown.
http://wtcctr.blogspot.com
6. In Rem - March 21, 2008 9:34 PM
Don't miss http://growtheicecapproject.org/welcome.html
Make sure you scope out his letters to Al Gore.
7. Composer - March 21, 2008 9:48 PM
You know who else wanted to change the world....
8. guate6 - March 21, 2008 9:58 PM
From the letter to Gore: "For each island sold, I will be able to donate one island to the project."
Oh, I see. *cough nutjob cough*
9. RandomNigel - March 21, 2008 10:38 PM
Rofl.
Everyone needs a house with some decent sqiare footage.
10. InAwe - March 21, 2008 11:25 PM
Feel free to call him at: 405-464-0325 and tell him how brilliant his plan is.
He is going to stop the problems in the middle east and end global warming. If only he could figure out a way that man-made islands could prevent popcorn from getting stuck in your teeth we would be looking at worldwide utopia.
11. NekoNeko - March 22, 2008 12:28 AM
I like how he says that you have a 50 ft by 50 ft square that he'll build, yet it's up to you to divide & furnish. How about some stairs? It'd really suck if tried to enter the house, only to fall & break your neck due to the lack of stairs. Then you'd slowly die of thirst, internal bleeding, & infection while you try to claw your way up slick walls made of bullet-proof glass. Your only companions will be the fish outside laughing their little fins off at you.
12. grandmastabu - March 22, 2008 4:58 AM
lol...If you want to get taken seriously you should not begin a letter with the words: "I have come up with one of the greatest ideas ever."
13. SlowMonkey - March 22, 2008 7:05 AM
It was considerate of him to make the glass bulletproof in case Aquaman goes terrorist on your ass and stakes out your 50ft X 50ft box.
14. Mysterious M - March 22, 2008 2:11 PM
Aquatic Surface Area Reclamation
15. Tman - March 22, 2008 2:51 PM
Lol... I want the mobile airbase.
A Few Island Use Suggestions
Build a casino or brothel on it and park it 12 miles off shore in international waters out of the reach of US authority!
Build your dream house on it and sail around the world!
Build a cool restaurant on it! Make a marine biologist station!
Be your own country!
Build your own Margaritaville!
Build a hotel and create the most unique cruise line in the world
Get a bigger one and build a mobile airbase! 210 ft $750,000, 310 ft $1,000,000
Build a golf course!
Build the ultimate retirement village
Build an amusement park
16. Michael Brown - March 22, 2008 6:06 PM
The guy is also legally blind - so take his word that his bullet-proof glass will provide an excellent sub-ocean view!
17. Jack Tobin - March 22, 2008 7:15 PM
Keep'em coming!
18. Boost - March 22, 2008 8:26 PM
....that I wrote when I was in prison............as soon as I get the 1500 from disability....
And he needs to raise $5,000,000? What a fool. Actually, what a dumbass.
19. Neuromancer - March 22, 2008 8:27 PM
I'm sorry, but wouldn't a 2500 square foot box displace like 20,000 cubic feet of water? Instead of flotation it would need nearly its own volume in ballast. Or am I just taking this skin bag too seriously?
20. Fred - March 22, 2008 9:31 PM
Dont forget this little doosie at the bottom of the home page.
Am I crazy? Probably
How many have I sold? Zero
Is this just a dream? Maybe
I’m legally blind. Typinf is a vitch!
21. NekoNeko - March 23, 2008 4:10 AM
@ Fred:
I didn't notice that it said that! I guess supposedly we could hand him a briefcase full of paper & tell him it's the money.
I'd love to see him try to send a letter to the presidents overseas in the middle east. I'm sure that they'll take that really well.
22. nikky raney - March 23, 2008 3:16 PM
SQIARE? what the hell.
23. Rossco - March 23, 2008 3:37 PM
Ahahaha, yeah, the guy is too blind to spell correctly, but I'll entrust him to build not only a floating island, but an UNDERWATER HOME. Nope, no complications could arise from being legally blind and trying to construct such things... Certainly nothing life-endangering.
24. Holy Graffiti - March 23, 2008 4:11 PM
I'm calling his bluff. Anybody want to go halfsies on the cost?
25. RandomNigel - March 23, 2008 5:01 PM
Here's a thought...
If it was built in the middle of an island,
wouldn't that mean there was no ocean view?
I mean, you'd be surrounded by rock, sand, and the like, no?
26. Jack Tobin - March 23, 2008 8:49 PM
No. The underwater home is positioned beneath the floatation units. Nothing surrounds the glass but water.
27. The Dude - March 23, 2008 10:08 PM
Check this out!!
This guy's a perv!!!!
http://docapp8.doc.state.ok.us/servlet/page?_pageid=229&_dad=portal30&_schema=PORTAL30&offender_id=7926&imageindex=4
28. thetotal - March 24, 2008 12:01 AM
What's wrong with you people? Sure the idea is stupid but that's no reason to abuse the guy. It sounds like he's slightly unstable or really eccentric.
This guy is genuinly trying to help the world and your first thought is "Let's post his phone number so people can ring him and abuse him." There has to be something wrong with someone who looks up anyone they come across on the sex offender register.
You don't know anything about this guy in real life, but as soon as you see his retarded and uneducated idea you proceed to demonise him - even though he's trying to help the world solve some very serious situations.
29. gert - March 24, 2008 5:36 AM
Did anyone notice he just posted this:
The link to a sex offender provided on geekologie is not me.
30. Erik - March 24, 2008 8:37 AM
Something is telling me this is absolutely fake, and it's viral marketing for Lost.
31. Keiko - March 24, 2008 8:57 AM
@Erik bwahahaha, that's absolutely the funniest thing I've heard on this forum today
@thetotal, there is a such a thing as tone in writing, any person, with any semblance of education can readily discern a genuine attempt to save the environment from some half baked plot to get some laughs and/or score some easy scam money. Lighten up, because I am SERIOUSLY starting to consider the increasingly probable possibility of your being Jack.
32. Keiko - March 24, 2008 8:58 AM
@Erik bwahahaha, that's absolutely the funniest thing I've heard on this forum today
@thetotal, there is a such a thing as tone in writing, any person, with any semblance of education can readily discern a genuine attempt to save the environment from some half baked plot to get some laughs and/or score some easy scam money. Lighten up, because I am SERIOUSLY starting to consider the increasingly probable possibility of your being Jack.
33. lolzer - March 24, 2008 10:36 AM
from ebay auction:
"free local pickup"
awesome....
34. Samuel - March 24, 2008 11:46 AM
@ The Dude: This guy may be a sex offender, but it isn't something you point and laugh at.
The Dude, you're a dick.
35. Tommy - March 24, 2008 12:22 PM
When I saw this I couldn't help but contact the guy... Him and I have been exchanging as many as 6 emails now... I have been able to convince him that I want to invest my inheritance into his project, so I asked for his lawyer's contact info so we could talk about a contract... He sent me a copy of a .pdf building contract he found on Google - where he pointed out to me that he had "noticed" some legal issues involved... I guess the 1997 Mississippi State Housing and Building Supplies Contract doesn't cover floating blocks. I've just compromised the joke's further potential if he reads this - that's right, Jack. It was a joke, I won't be getting back to you about the contract because I think you are A) in some denial about a condition that ought to be preventing you from embarassing yourself further or B) a con artist
I hope you are A. If you are B, you are a lousy con
P.S. You can't make ice caps bigger by attaching snow covered floating blocks to it
36. Scott - March 24, 2008 1:13 PM
Dear Jack,
Come up out of that basement and get a job!
Sincerely,
Mom
P.S. Wear a bow tie and jacket to dinner tonight, we are having pork chops and wine from a box.
37. Kyle - March 24, 2008 2:24 PM
He did change his main site, and to say that the link isn't him, but take this picture thats on his website?
http://growtheicecapproject.org/welcome_files/headshot.gif
Looks similar to me.
38. Jack Tobin - March 24, 2008 3:47 PM
We look similar because the man in the link is my father.
39. jimbob - March 24, 2008 4:40 PM
From his website:
"The link to a sex offender provided on geekologie is not me. I, too, however, am a sex offender"
ROFL
40. Bubba Jones - March 24, 2008 7:21 PM
Some nice eBaying there. Buy something for $50, turn around and sell it two weeks later for $15.
41. stu - March 25, 2008 4:00 AM
"The link to a sex offender provided on geekologie is not me. I, too, however, am a sex offender"
other quotes by this nutjob not seen on his page:
"officer, that pot isn't mine.... THIS pot, however, is mine!"
"no your honour, i did not steal from this store...i stole from THAT store over there"
42. i need air - March 25, 2008 9:48 AM
Thank you, stu. I almost suffocated from laughing.