Mar 28 2008NASA Testing Lunar Chariot Vehicle For Moon, I Wouldn't Be Caught Dead On It
This is NASA's Lunar Chariot, a six wheeled, all-wheel-drive, all-wheel-steering vehicle for the moon mission scheduled in 2020. It will be used to bulldoze roads, dig trenches, and drill for minerals on the moon thanks to its numerous attachments. Now I find this fascinating and all, and you know I love outerspace as much as the next boy-astronaut, but I still have one problem -- it's fugly as hell. It looks like a mechanical crab with wheels.
Aliens exist. And since the moon is a logical place for visiting aliens to stop for a cold drink, snacks, and to use the pisser before hitting earth, we should make the best impression possible. Now what if they come and see this goofy bastard lumbering around? They're going to laugh at us. Get with it NASA! I'll be damned if I miss my opportunity to score sweet alien poon because you were too cheap to make a cooler looking moon vehicle.
Video of the testing after the jump.
NASA testing Lunar Chariot [crave]
Thanks to Andrew, who scores hot aliens whenever he wants because he's the man and loves chicks with three boobs, for the tip
Reader Comments
1. Rick Aston - March 28, 2008 6:38 PM
Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you go!
2. Bramus! - March 28, 2008 8:02 PM
Think they're better off with buying 20 big dogs and shooting those up to the moon :P
3. rick crammond - March 28, 2008 9:23 PM
Tackiest space vehicle ever. Looks like a cross between a confused ATV and a casket delivery vehicle. Definitely will jeopardize planet Earth because of jaded alien viewpoint of un-classy humans.
4. SlowMonkey - March 28, 2008 10:33 PM
"It will be used to bulldoze roads, dig trenches, and drill for minerals on the moon" -- will there be 4 of them? (1 to work while 3 stand around and watch)
5. Nasageek - March 28, 2008 10:49 PM
You think that's cool, you need to search for the NASA ATHLETE ;)
6. guate6 - March 29, 2008 9:28 AM
I'm sure people haven't forgotten the Mars rover that was built and launched at the beginning of the decade...remember the thing that crashed? Calculations done in feet, programmed in meters. I hope they remember this and program this one correctly.
Then later the other Mars lander that looked just like...wait for it...this stupid "chariot." Yeah, six wheels, independent steering, etc. That thing got STUCK! and it wasn't at the bottom of a canyon, no. It was stuck on...here it comes...A FUCKING ROCK. Yeah, the wheel went up on the rock, and couldn't move. That's why I love the end of the video where they talk about incorporating independent movement on each wheel so that it can maneuver better than the last failure.
Damn, why doesn't NASA just take all the money given to them by the taxpayers and do something with it? Like make everyone atomic clocks, give us pieces of the moon, build us cool things. Or hell, at least take the money, put it in a large pile, and BURN IT. At least we'll know what the money was used for. My faith in NASA was lost so long ago, and they've not redeemed themselves yet. They claim they got a man on the moon, ok, I believe it. They haven't been able to get anyone back on the moon since then...
7. Nasageek - March 29, 2008 1:39 PM
Guate - You are very ignorant.
Do you know what gets men to the moon? Is it rockets? No. It's money. Congress has been cutting NASA funds forever, not to mention two candidates that already announced MORE budget cuts. Back in Apollo days, NASA had all the funding it wanted. So we got to the moon REALLY fast. Now, we re trying to do much more and, of course, it costs more money.
Oh by the way, the rover is NOTHING like the Chariot. Read books.
8. guate6 - March 29, 2008 9:35 PM
#7: You dare call me ignorant? Do you even know what NASA's last claim was for not being able to get men on the moon? It was NOT money, it was them saying they didn't have the technology. From whence spawned a series of controversies where people began questioning if there had even been men on the moon in the first place; I'm sure you remember the controversy about the picture where the flag looked as though it were waving when there's no wind on the moon...that is, if you know anything about what you claim in being a geek in.
I called the "rover" a "lander" my apologies. I didn't think it merited being thrashed. Don't be stupid, ignorant and cocky. The following image is to what I referred: http://www.nsf.gov/news/newsmedia/robotics05/images/11mars_rover_h.jpg
and: http://www.spacetoday.org/SolSys/Mars/MarsExploration/MarsSurveyor2003Feb04.html
...I've read several books, magazines, newspapers, watch the news...I know stuffz
9. Nasageek - March 29, 2008 10:09 PM
Guate, I don't get my information from websites. I work for the program making the Chariot. Again, you are ignorant.
10. guate6 - March 30, 2008 12:57 PM
#9: Oh so you actually work for NASA...that makes things different. I know I'm ignorant (we as humans are ignorant), but if you work for NASA then you're just plain stupid. This is for many reasons.
The "website," as you condescendingly put it...well I used two: one is the National Science Foundation, and the other is Space Today Online, which is edited by Dr. Curtis. If I could throw books at you (several volumes) then believe that I would, but alas, the internet is all I have to throw at you..
And in case you and your pot-head friends didn't know...just because you work for NASA, doesn't make anything better. Come back when you have hard evidence that the claims I made (which aren't claims, they're pretty much what we call "real" or "fact"), are false...pretty hard to disprove a recent historical event or two.
11. Jacob - March 30, 2008 2:58 PM
Well, Guate6 sounds like a little girl. Yup.
12. patrick - March 30, 2008 11:51 PM
i hate the weekends when there are no posts!
13. charlie brown - March 31, 2008 10:45 AM
i love the geekologie writer ;-)
14. Meaty_Urologist - March 31, 2008 1:38 PM
I think there's enough room in NASA's budget for curb feelers, don't you? That would class up this ride in a jiffy!
15. Z - April 1, 2008 1:57 AM
Who the hell is this bitch commenting on this vehicle? It's "HUE-STON!" NOT HOO-STON...
16. Atrides - April 10, 2008 6:17 PM
GAUTE, you really are an ignorant shit, and you should check your facts before you write anything. I'm not going to touch your conspiracy "they didn't land on the moon" bullshit, because it's too retarded to contemplate. Instead, I'll point out several of the mistakes you made when you were pretending to argue something sensible:
1) The rover at the beginning of the decade was Pathfinder, and it didn't crash. It was the Mars Polar Lander, whose replacement, Phoenix, is due to land on Mars in 45 days. Pathfinder was a complete success and met all of its mission prerogatives.
2) The pair of subsequent landers (Spirit and Opportunity) are arguably the most successful planetary science missions in NASA's history. I say are, because they have both exceeded their nominal mission length by 15 times, which is unprecedented. They are both active, and NASA recently extended their budget into 2009.
3) NASA's cut from the federal budget is less that 1%, and you're a fucking hippie if you think that's going to make any difference if it went back to the taxpayers because:
3a) The spaceflight, science, and engineering industries that are the direct spinoffs from NASA's programs have provided tens of thousands of Americans with solid jobs, have produced hundreds of new devices and technologies that have been capitalized upon, and have revitalized dozens of previously low-income counties in the United States, from Michigan, to Alabama, to Texas, to Florida, while establishing new communities entirely in many of these states, as well as California
3b) Dipshits like you don't deserve a tax-break;instead you should be penalized for wasting your full mental capacities on whatever dumb shit you do