Mar 24 2008Monocycle Only Seats One For A Reason
Because there's no way in hell a woman would ever want to get on that thing with you. It just screams "I can juggle and perform magic tricks". Not that you juggling magicians out there aren't cool. You're just cool in a way that doesn't make women want to have sex with you. Anyways, if you're a risk taker and still want one the cycle has a 31cc engine, top speed of 25MPH, and a half gallon of fuel will get you two hours of riding enjoyment. It costs $13,000, which is more than a nice used car. Which would be a lot more practical. A nice used cat, however, would not be. Unless it was Cringer, He-Man's Battle Cat. Did I really just go there? Damn yeah I did. Castle Grayskull bitches, what?
Frightening Looking Motorized Monocycle [uberreview]
Reader Comments
1. whistle - March 24, 2008 5:38 PM
Oh yeah, I saw the episode where Mr. Garrison invented this! Man, South Park merchandise sure is expensive...
2. Argyle - March 24, 2008 5:39 PM
That looks way too much like Mr. Garrison's "It" from South Park. Too bad it's not nearly as fast, but I suppose that's what you get for sacrificing almost half the gayness of the "It".
3. Argyle - March 24, 2008 5:39 PM
Ha, I need to type faster
4. Billy Avenue - March 24, 2008 5:39 PM
holy crap it's the Garrison mobile!
5. Civin - March 24, 2008 5:50 PM
You know... I remember Cringer.. when he wasn't in 'battle mode' he was a real lazy cat that sat around and ran from trouble. So if anything you'd have a giant lazy cat eating you out of house and home unless you had He Man's sword... and if you have that.. we should totally hang out.
6. cheeseycom - March 24, 2008 6:31 PM
How the heck do you steer that thing?
7. Aerialgreen - March 24, 2008 6:44 PM
Mr. Garrison's "It" monocycle indeed... the mental damage done by that episode just can't be fixed.
How do you steer it? well, if I remember correctly Garrison's had such features in the mouth "controller", right?
8. guate6 - March 24, 2008 8:27 PM
This is the version that has body panels. I saw the original in videos (can't remember the official name) and it's neat...except when the inventor/driver crashed and broke stuff.
Here's another concept of something similar:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcrshqwlszw
Oh I found it, it's called the McLean Monowheel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K4YmVP6i4qw
And a neat video of a San Andreas mod for the Monowheel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FF1bj_nECo
9. guate6 - March 24, 2008 8:38 PM
Note: the video of the crash (middle link)...after 3:05, it's just a blur with sound (the people talking).
10. icweiner - March 25, 2008 2:47 AM
so can i get mine without the anal hook up.
11. bluemanda - March 25, 2008 10:58 AM
I would never ride on this thing, its an America's Funniest Video waiting to happen. You know...minus Bob Sagat's bad dubbing-over.
Oh yeah and Battle Cat rules.
12. 6tringer - March 25, 2008 11:26 AM
anybody know the name of the south park episode? I kind of feel like being mentally scarred today.....
13. Chris - March 25, 2008 11:51 AM
"Not that you juggling magicians out there aren't cool. You're just cool in a way that doesn't make women want to have sex with you."
I am a juggler, and I resent that remark. How dare you put jugglers and magicians in the same category. Magicians are jerks.
14. policegirl - March 25, 2008 12:34 PM
God....the South Park guys really need to start putting patents on this stuff. It was bad enough they missed out on 'Brokeback Mountain' (see 'gay cowboys eating pudding' episode).