Mar 28 2008For The Ladies: Golden Girl 24 Karat Facials
Are you an independently wealthy woman? A gold(!) digger? Do you like blowing wads of cash? If so you may want to consider this 24 karat luxury facial treatment. For about $360 you can get an 80-minute gold leafing of your face.
Ron Razeggi, U.S. chief operating officer of the manufacturer, UMO, said: "The skin tries to reject the gold because it's a foreign object. In order to do that, it builds new cells."Right now, the body produces new cells every 28 days. But this accelerates the cell-building and, as a result, it firms and tightens the skin."
Well there you have it ladies, straight from the jackass's mouth. In all honesty though, if you're a woman and reading this website I'm confident you're already beautiful inside and out (not to mention intelligent and complete with a great sense of humor) and don't need this crap. Besides, you don't even get to keep the gold after the treatment.
Spa strikes gold with the anti-aging 24-karat facial [dailymail]
Thanks to Silas, who is practically made of precious metals, for the tip
Reader Comments
1. SlowMonkey - March 28, 2008 5:30 PM
From what I have heard, the body tries to reject motor oil from Argentina as well.
2. biology nerd - March 28, 2008 7:11 PM
seriously why does it have to be gold. can't they use something cheaper?
3. g-man - March 28, 2008 7:23 PM
thats so unbelievably flawed. a). the skin doesn't reject anything it comes into contact with, b). gold is inert, so it won't react with anything, c). the body doesn't reject things that are external, they are internal, and then white blood cells attack the object.
GCSE biology strikes again!
4. Vostok - March 28, 2008 7:47 PM
Hilariously enough, in regards to the gold pills, if you took them often enough, you'd die of heavy metal poisoning.
5. alex - March 28, 2008 9:40 PM
haha 1... my thoughts exactly!! did dr jiffy lube assist in coming up with this scam or what?
6. alex - March 28, 2008 9:41 PM
i love the tags, too: "no thanks," "questionable," hahaha
7. PR - March 28, 2008 11:06 PM
I wonder if anybody could get away with taking a poop, smearing it all over someone's face, and calling it a facial.
8. Faith - March 29, 2008 12:49 AM
awww, thank you, superficial writer. I would fuck you.
9. Amy - March 29, 2008 3:36 AM
It's a lot cheaper and more fun just to pour a bottle of Goldschläger on your face.
10. Alice - March 29, 2008 3:38 AM
What a load. The claim doesn't even make any sense. I'm unreasonably annoyed about it.
11. Katie - March 29, 2008 4:19 AM
Yay, thanks for the affirmation.
12. guate6 - March 29, 2008 7:56 AM
#3: you're almost right. There are plenty of things that can be absorbed through the skin. Yes the skin itself doesn't reject much (except heat...that's where heat blisters come from...the skin rejects the high temperature and forms a liquid in between so the heat doesn't go to further layers), but with absorption through the skin, the immune system kicks in and tries to get rid of whatever it is that's a foreign body.
Gold doesn't chemically react with anything, but what they say about heavy metal poisoning is true. The leukocytes do attack things, but there are several types of white cells with specific jobs...they aren't the only thing attacking foreign bodies. True, the things have to enter the blood to be attacked, but again I refer to absorption through the skin.
PhD in general badassery, awesomeness, and know-almost-all-of-it.
Oh and a few degrees in life sciences...you'll learn these things before and during medical school :)
Either way, it's a scam I'd like to get in to...make money off the rich, that sounds like a great idea to me!
13. Veronica - March 29, 2008 11:24 AM
$360 isn't out of line with the cost of a regular facial at a high-end spa. So your really getting a deal.
14. guate6 - March 29, 2008 11:41 AM
#13: true, but while a regular facial does little to nothing to your face (keep in mind that the best way to take care of yourself is with DIET...not a "lose weight diet" but what you eat), and just removes dead skin cells, bringing up the nicer and newer skin cells...happens with cream, mud, anything really). So having gold doesn't actually do anything except put cola malleable metal against your skin.
Here's a less expensive way...get aluminum foil and have someone do this. It's A LOT LESS EXPENSIVE..not as cold as metal, but malleable and does the same thing (nothing).
15. guate6 - March 29, 2008 11:42 AM
...I love hair products:
Shampoo: remove dead scalp-skin cells, remove oil from hair.
Conditioner: put oils back in your hair.
Haha...just eat properly, stay healthy, and it'll reflect on the outside.
16. Cyberwulf - March 29, 2008 8:47 PM
hm. Yeah, that could work, also, I can turn lead into platinum. Fuck gold, that's so last millenium.
17. ren - March 30, 2008 10:31 AM
this sounds questionable because he forget to mention the last and final step. You then proceed to have the gold transmit 50 000 volts of electricity via alligator jumper cables instantly liquefying the gold and searing the skin!
Ah! pseudo science, you and your wonderful micro particles called microcleaneroles
18. Cryptonic - March 30, 2008 7:24 PM
LOL waste of money
19. Waste of space - March 31, 2008 4:30 AM
#16, shampoo removes oils from your scalp and hair, conditioner puts oils back in your hair, not scalp, unless you're using it wrong. A bit of oil is good for hair.
$360 is the cost of about a third (well, a bit more) of an ounce of pure gold. This might be the amount they're putting on your face. Considering that they most certainly reuse the gold, unlike the stuff used for normal facials, they are definitely laughing all the way to the bank with this "treatment."
20. butterbee - March 31, 2008 11:17 AM
facials....
21. chloe - March 31, 2008 10:47 PM
the comment to the women reading this site made me smile
22. poop - March 31, 2008 11:24 PM
let me drink a bottle of goldschlager, and i'll splatter gold all over your face. $20. no wait! hell of a good time!
23. Jared - April 2, 2008 8:37 PM
I love how these asshats are using gold like it was some abundant and easily obtained resource. African ecology has gone to absolute shit thanks to gold and diamond mining...to say nothing of the human toll it's taken in the amount of people that die in said mines and the deaths caused by the cyanide that is used in gold mining process that's dumped into the water.
24. Tatianne - April 4, 2008 9:35 AM
stupid shit some women will believe anything they tell them