Mar 26 2008Flush The John With A Step Of Your Foot
A toilet flushing handle can contain up to 50,000 bacteria per square inch. So I'll stop licking them, but I'm not going to drop $20 on the Footflush. The Footflush is a foot shaped (because you'd have no idea how the f*** to use it otherwise) device you step on in order to flush the john. They hook up to any regular toilet and make the world a better place for germaphobes and people with no arms. But here's a novel idea -- that's free -- kick the damn handle like a normal person. I don't care if it is a little-handled home toilet, you kick that mother. You do it on the big handles in public restrooms, why not at home as well? I prefer the running jumpkick technique. However, due to its difficulty I can only recommend it for intermediate/advanced level kickers. Basically you run, jump, and kick. But be warned: one time I was pissing at Arby's and went up for the flush but miscalculated and ended up busting through the wall and into the kitchen. I told them the commode exploded and demanded a free turnover.
Reader Comments
1. That guy - March 26, 2008 4:33 PM
Couldn't people just...ya know...wash their hands and/or with soap possibly?
2. Polly Pureheart - March 26, 2008 5:06 PM
Mr. Insensitve Writer -
That a fairly hilarious analysis. I might look into the product tho. I usually try to kick toilet handles but I have such a wide stance that I often end up dipping my ball sack in the toilet and getting an offer for a sweet hummer.
http://wtcctr.blogspot.com
3. Sly - March 27, 2008 12:47 AM
This happens to me so often that I've taken to jumpkicking the toilet before I eat, in hopes of having a 'breakthough' experience that ends with me getting free food or suing the restaurant.
4. laz - March 27, 2008 6:11 AM
what happens with the button flush toilets...hard to kick those.
i use a bit of TP, and then stand at the door, which always open inwards from a public toilet, till someone else comes in, so that i can slip out.
5. Zukini San - March 27, 2008 10:21 AM
Is that a white pimp shoe in the picture on the packaging? Sweet.