Mar 27 2008Donkey Kong Jungle Juice Is A Misnomer
We've seen several video game inspired energy drinks here at Geekologie, and even a Nintendo offering, but now comes another -- Donkey Kong Jungle Juice. Spotted at the Nintendo World Store in New York, the drink comes packed with all those sperm-reducing agents* energy drinks are known for. Apparently the concoction is pink, smells like bubble gum, and has the flavor of carbonated Kool-Aid. There are theories circulating that it's the exact same stuff that's in the Mario can, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was. You can score a can from Anime Castle for $2.25 if you still want to try. I'm going to pass though, as a matter of principle. Everyone knows jungle juice is alcoholic and does not come in a Donkey Kong can. No sir, jungle juice is a combination of Everclear and every other kind of liquor you have in your college apartment mixed with Hawaiian Punch and Sunny D. You scoop it right out of the cooler it was mixed in with a Solo cup. It gets you drunk as shit and makes you puke and pass out on the bathroom floor while people bash your brain in with the door trying to get in to take a piss.
*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. It has, however, been evaluated by Deez Nuts.
donkey kong jungle juice doesn't taste like bananas [technabob]
Reader Comments
1. Polly Pureheart - March 27, 2008 10:30 AM
Brother, you said it all about the Jungle Juice... except the few times I had it it was mixed in a bath tub with a hockey stick. And, yeah, it was in the bare tub with no liner. Mmmm.
http://wtcctr.blogspot.com
2. Tony!!!! - March 27, 2008 11:37 AM
I worked at Atomic Comics for a while and we sold this stuff all the time. It tastes like a berry red bull and goes great great with mountain dew, oh look something shiney...
3. Al Coholic - March 27, 2008 12:28 PM
That was a wonderful description of Jungle Juice. You would think it might vary slightly nation-wide, but nope! Sounds about the same as the shit I know of.
Also, #1 - I did not know jungle juice could be degraded to such a low level but straight into a nasty bathtub and mixed with a hockey stick?!?! I'll bet that shit was extra potent and I'm not necessarily sure jungle juice needs any extra potentcy... Keep it gangsta
4. Sarah - March 27, 2008 7:30 PM
It was put in a bathtub at my parties too. And you dumped fruit cocktail in it too.
It was called Jungle Juice and Wop.
5. guate6 - March 28, 2008 1:46 AM
#1: free pubes in that?
My jungle juice is for the ladies only, and comes (!) from one place alone.
6. Tap - March 28, 2008 8:23 AM
Jungle juice at our parties was grain alcohol mixed with 99ยข fruit juice from the supermarket.