Mar 13 2008Clock Runs Slow, Measures Time In Years
The Life Clock, by Betrand Planes, runs at 1/61,320 the speed of a regular clock. It measures time in years, with each number representing (in my case) 7 long years you've pissed away with a woman that makes you miserable. Not that it matters, because I doubt I'll even make it halfway around the damn thing. Hell, I may not even make it through the night if my girlfriend comes home and reads what I write about her online. Luckily I convinced her I work as a refrigerator repairman. Ha, she's so stupid she'll fall for anything. Oh, hi honey! Home early aren't you? Me? Slow day, no repairs this afternoon. Yeah, I'm just updating my Facebook page. You know, making sure it says I'm in a loving relationship with the woman of my dreams and all. She totally believes me, so gullible. Holy shit, you own a gun? Whoa, whoa let's be rational he--
UPDATE: Blonde female looking for a relationship. Recently (and violently) ended a 7-year run with a freaking loser that was blogging about me behind my back. He, in case you didn't know, had a Tic-Tac sized penis (despite what he may have told you). I'm tired of the guys everyone is talking about on the dating site famousrichguys.com and want a real man. Any takers have to help me bury a body first.
lifetime clock slows time to a crawl [technabob]
Reader Comments
1. Alche - March 13, 2008 1:37 PM
oh geekologie writer, you're the living end
2. Uncle Eccoli - March 13, 2008 2:30 PM
I am aware enough of my own mortality. I don't need this clock laughing at me all the time.
3. Hurley's Brother - March 13, 2008 2:32 PM
So are you in to Hurley shaped guys? You sound like my type of woman! Your definitely a hands on type of person and not afraid to get a little dirty.
P.S. I know a bunch of pig farmers. So disposal of rotten and decaying organic material is not a problem.
4. Brianna - March 13, 2008 3:10 PM
I suppose this would be an awesome thing to buy and start on your anniversary so you never forgot! I am so bad with those...
OR
omgz you can even celebrate the whatever-year anniversary of you buying that clock!!
5. Sarah - March 13, 2008 3:58 PM
Reading this blog is like watching an episode of the Family Guy. There really is no cohesion between segments, but it's still funny as hell.
6. Joy - March 13, 2008 5:39 PM
so if the short had is years, what's the long hand for?
7. Joy - March 13, 2008 5:43 PM
hand*
8. guate6 - March 13, 2008 6:19 PM
Short hand is years, long hand is for the multiples of 7...nothing more.
Sorry late-Geekologie-writer's-ex-girlfriend, I've had enough psychos and drama in my life.
9. Cat - March 14, 2008 10:20 AM
Oh my god!! Geekologie writer, you've got it all wrong! This is a Pon Farr Clock! it measures the time until you must return to Vulcan to take/have wild animalistic sex with a wife (or face her champion in the challenge). I actually might have to buy one now...
10. ed hardy - December 5, 2009 2:17 AM
I really appreciate your help.Thank you very much!