The Life Clock, by Betrand Planes, runs at 1/61,320 the speed of a regular clock. It measures time in years, with each number representing (in my case) 7 long years you've pissed away with a woman that makes you miserable. Not that it matters, because I doubt I'll even make it halfway around the damn thing. Hell, I may not even make it through the night if my girlfriend comes home and reads what I write about her online. Luckily I convinced her I work as a refrigerator repairman. Ha, she's so stupid she'll fall for anything. Oh, hi honey! Home early aren't you? Me? Slow day, no repairs this afternoon. Yeah, I'm just updating my Facebook page. You know, making sure it says I'm in a loving relationship with the woman of my dreams and all. She totally believes me, so gullible. Holy shit, you own a gun? Whoa, whoa let's be rational he--
UPDATE: Blonde female looking for a relationship. Recently (and violently) ended a 7-year run with a freaking loser that was blogging about me behind my back. He, in case you didn't know, had a Tic-Tac sized penis (despite what he may have told you). I'm tired of the guys everyone is talking about on the dating site famousrichguys.com and want a real man. Any takers have to help me bury a body first.
lifetime clock slows time to a crawl [technabob]