Apr 4 2008 Ergonomic Coffee Mug Fits Your Lips
This is a coffee mug designed with a thin wall at the top that's slightly curved to conform to your lips. Now, you know how much I hate to brag, but I can drink like a grown up and don't have any problems with a regular mug. But if you're one of the people out there that can't manage to drink your morning coffee without spilling all over yourself, I have an alternative solution: Ask your mommy to get you a sippy cup the next time she's at the store picking up your diapers. Oooh, burn!
Apr 4 2008 Piratey Music Video Made With Playmobil Sets
This is a music video for Camphor's song "Castaway". It was made with Playmobile (LEGO's less modular bastard competition) pirate sets. I'm posting it because:
1. I liked the song
2. I love toys and videos with toys
3. I love pirates
4. I am a pirate
5. I'm dating a ninja
6. She gave birth to a knight
7. I don't think it's mine
8. It's Friday
9. I ain't got no job
10. I've been drinking since last night because I thought yesterday was Friday
11. I'm a pirate
12. My girlfriend's a strumpet
Adorable pirate music video [notcot]
Apr 4 2008 Maze Lock Guarantees You'll Perish In A Fire
Is escaping your home in case of an emergency too easy? Need more of a challenge escaping during a fire? How about adding the Defendius Door Chain from Art Lebedev (maker of the Optimus Maximus). As you can see it's a maze. A maze of death. By fire. No word on price or if the damn thing is even real, but if you really want a challenge trying to get out of the house I'm your man. For $30 I'll stand in the doorway attacking you with a can of mace and taser while you try to get by. Slip me an extra fiver and I'll even bat you in the nuts a few times.
UPDATE: Turns out it was a hilarious April Fools joke! AHAHAHAHHA. So funny. *wipes tear* Thanks a lot Jack, you dick.
Defendius door chain [artlebedev]
Thanks to Jack (not the island guy), who can solve mazes and word searches in record time, for the tip
Apr 4 2008 Printer Tattoos Provide Instant Street Cred
A company is selling printer paper that can be used to make temporary tattoos. You just Photoshop yourself a wicked skull and crossbones or unicorn, and you're good to go.
Once it's printed you just need to apply an adhesive sheet to the printout and smooth out any bubbles. When you remove the adhesive sheet, the printed tattoo will be left with a sticky surface allowing it to be applied to your skin with a wet sponge. The tattoos are water-based and non-toxic, so while they'll stick around for about a week if you avoid bathing or showering, they can easily be removed with just soap and water.
Each sheet costs $5. While this is pretty neat for kids under the age of 10, if you want to earn real street cred you need to do what I did: Get in a bar fight and kill some dude with a highball glass. Then make sure to be represented in court by a public defendant so you're guaranteed a max sentence. While you're in prison kill somebody else (go for someone small) and get your cellmate to tattoo a blue tear under your eye using a sharpened spork from the cafeteria. Presto -- when you're out of the slammer everyone knows you killed somebody. Sure you may lose your virginity in the communal shower, but hey, it's all part of the experience.
Inkjet Tattoo Paper Is Another Way To Avoid Those Painful Needles [ohgizmo]
Apr 4 2008 Woman Dies, Is Buried With Cell Phone, Still Pesters Husband Via Text Messages
Sadie Jones died five years ago and was buried with her most valuable possession -- her cell phone. Now her grieving widower, Frank Jones, claims to be receiving text messages from beyond the grave.
Shortly after his wife's death, Frank claims to have had a missed call on his mobile, which didn't ring. "The call was from my own home number, but there was nobody in the house," he explains. "When I went inside there was a smell like cigarettes which Sadie used to smoke and the smell of her perfume." The 59-year-old also claims that his late wife has been sending them all SMSes from beyond the grave. "There have been messages with words Sadie would say but there's no number."
First of all, when I die (which will likely be sooner than later -- I <3 you, booze), please don't bury me with my cell phone. When I'm gone I don't want any of the people I know calling and disturbing my eternal slumber. I freaking love sleeping. And while text messages from beyond the grave is certainly interesting, I think we're missing the real issue here -- the supernatural cell phone battery. That thing holds a charge for five years? Shit, mine's dead (!) after two days.
Dead Woman Buried With Cellphone Allegedly Sends Texts to Husband [gizmodo]
Apr 4 2008 Elephant Paints Elephant Portrait, I Want It
This isn't a gadget or gizmo. It is, however, awesome. It's an elephant painting a picture of an elephant -- holding flowers! Now I'm not saying that this pachyderm is smarter than a human, but it's definitely smarter than all my friends. Who, if you must know, are a rag-tag bunch of no-talent asscaps. The video is long, so feel free to skip around. But don't skip breakfast -- it's the most important meal of the day. Say, this reminds me -- one time when I was a kid, my parents took me to the circus (which I will never go to again) and there was a guy in the ring whose job it was to catch elephant shit with a shovel before it hit the ground. So this elephant starts to squat and he comes running -- but he couldn't hold the shovel up due to the weight of the turdage. It kept banging on the ground and spilling! Oh the hilarity! My brother and I heckled him the whole time.
Thanks to Steven, who knows what's up, for the tip
Apr 4 2008 Sustainable Dance Clubs Aim To Be Greener
Sustainable Dance Clubs are designed to reduce the outside energy needed to get your groove on in a dimly lit room with a bunch of other people grinding "all up on that ass". The first is opening in Rotterdam this weekend and features a dance floor that harvests dancing energy via piezoelectricity. This energy will be used to power the club's LED lighting. Not sure what's powering the speakers, but my guess is magic. Hey, anything that makes the world a little greener is cool in my book. And they could really harvest some serious energy from my wicked moves -- I dance my ass off. Literally, I lost a cheek.
A video explaining the dancefloor and a picture of me after a hard night of partying after the jump.
Continue Reading " Sustainable Dance Clubs Aim To Be Greener "
Apr 4 2008 Busted: Boy Charged For Camera Taser
Remember the disposable camera taser from a month ago? Well it turns out a kid got busted after making one and bringing it to school. Shocking (!), I know. He claims to have gotten the instructions on the interwebs (but not from me, I just linked to the DIY page). The boy was charged with possession of a weapon at school, attempted assault and breach of peace. Way to go dipshit! To his defense though, we all did the same thing when we were that age. At least I did. One time in homeroom I told the inbred yokel sitting next to me jam a clothes pin into an electric socket and it would spark. She didn't believe me. I warned her though: only hold the wooden part, don't touch the metal. It was awesome. There was a big blue spark the size of a basketball, then the electronic clock in the room went out, along with the air pump in the fish tank. She was sent to the office. Next period I had to run the mile in PE, and when I was coming in (after about six minutes), there was the principal waiting for me at the finish line. I puked on his shoes.
Teen Booked In Modification Of Camera Into 'Taser' [wcbstv]
Thanks to Mike, who doesn't need a stupid camera taser because women already find him electrifying, for the tip
Apr 3 2008 April Fools' Zelda Trailer Made Me Sad, Angry
This is a trailer for a Legend of Zelda movie that was apparently made by IGN as an April Fools' joke. What in the hell is the matter with those sick bastards? Sure the World Of Warcraft thing was awesome, but joking about Zelda? I've killed people for far, far less. I'm trying to not care though. I've been telling myself that Link looks nothing like he should. I mean really, did you ever envision Link as a homeless smack addict? And Zelda? Don't get my started on her. She's far from the boner-inducing princess of my dreams. Looks like she got hit with the Triforce Of Fugly. That two-bit strumpet. I mean I'd still do her. Damn you IGN!
Apr 3 2008 Selfy The EasyBed Makes Itself, Is Dangerous
Selfy the Easybed shares its name with a hooker I used to frequent when I was with my first wife. But this one isn't a bucktoothed whore, it's a bed that makes itself. Displayed at the ongoing International Exhibition of Inventions in Geneva, it's the brainchild of Enrico (Suave) Berruti.
The bed sheets are connected to a couple of fasteners which roll along a set of metal rails attached to each side of the bed. Once the sheets are completely spread out, the metal rails automatically lower, creating a neat finish.
Since there's no video and I'm horrible at visualizing things I have no idea what that means or how the hell it works. However, I do have the distinct feeling that it has the ability to crush a still-sleeping lover. After all, what better way to get a one-night stand up and on her way, than, you know, having to call an ambulance.
Selfy The Self-Making Bed [ohgizmo]
Apr 3 2008 Shoes Have Headlights, Rubber, Lots Of White
Well in the pictures after the jump they look all white. Admittedly, in that picture they look gray on top. But I digress. They have headlights in the toes.
Pioneer is a concept shoe that coverts kinetic walking energy into electrical energy. There's a tiny battery that charges up with each step and can keep the headlights on for a full 12 hours straight dispersing light at 1.5 meters.
Wow, they've had these for years. My niece even has a pair. Every time she takes a step Dora the Explorer and little pink butterflies light up on the sides. I went for a pair, but alas, no 11's. Personally I have no interest in this model. Perhaps if you're a night runner looking for a little extra safety these would come in handy (read: footy). But I've been running (from the authorities) in the dark for years without any problems. Except for the times I've hidden under overturned kiddy-pools. They always check under those.
NOTE: If you foresee yourself being chased by a ninja in the future do not buy these, you'll be totally f***ed.
Several more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Shoes Have Headlights, Rubber, Lots Of White "
Apr 3 2008 Star Wars On SpikeTV Bus Stop Advertisement
Here's a clever advertisement spotted in New York for the upcoming Star Wars movies being shown on SpikeTV starting tomorrow. As you can see it's a bunch of lightsabers and the text "Use only in case of Sith." Well isn't that some shit? What if you're being mugged by a non-Sith? You're just supposed to stand around and take it? F that. You want to hear the real kicker? I tried to steal one and it turned out to be a colored fluorescent tube! The damn thing broke in my hand when I tried to remove it. Not only that, but I think I may have accidentally inhaled some fluoro-dust. And, contrary to popular belief, it does not make you glow like a fairy.
Another picture of the ad during the day after the jump.
Continue Reading " Star Wars On SpikeTV Bus Stop Advertisement "
Apr 3 2008 Mario Bento Boxes Look Amazing/Delicious
Bento is a Japanese single portion packaged meal, often compartmentalized and with some artistic flair thrown in for good measure (and to make kids want to eat it). This Mario-themed bento is a good example. My wife has been obsessed with them for quite a while, and is always hollering at me to come in and look at some particularly good looking bento she's found on Flickr. God knows she could never actually make one herself. There's a whole bunch more Mario-inspired bento after the jump, so check them out. They all look good, and are making me hungry. Say, looks like the cat is hungry too -- oh, it appears he's going to have a little asshole. I guess I'll pass on lunch after all.
Hit the jump for a whole bunch more Mario bento.
Continue Reading " Mario Bento Boxes Look Amazing/Delicious "
Apr 3 2008 Running The Numbers Art Exhibit Is Staggering
I know what you're thinking -- the Geekologie writer has lost it and is posting fuzzy pictures of a scrambled skin-flick on Cinemax. Well, you're wrong. What you're actually seeing is a picture of two million plastic beverage bottles -- the amount used in the United States every five minutes. It's a piece in an exhibit entitled Running The Numbers, by artist Christ Jordan. That particular piece is actually 60" x 120", and there is a partial zoom and close-up after the jump, along with two others - plastic bags and cell phones. Check them out, and definitely hit the link to his gallery for a whole bunch more. They're definitely all worth seeing. And while you may argue with the statistics Chris used, I think we can agree that it would be fun as hell to dive into all those plastic bottles.
Kidding, these pictures are disturbing. If you need me I'll be hiding in the closet weeping into my blanky for the rest of the day.
Two more and a link to the very worthwhile gallery after the jump.
Continue Reading " Running The Numbers Art Exhibit Is Staggering "
Apr 3 2008 Scary Robot Lady Follows Your Cursor Around
This is a picture of a scary webpage you can go to where that creepy woman there follows your cursor around and freaks you out. It works, I am freaked. I actually got so scared that I tried moving the cursor around erratically in an attempt to break her neck. But alas, cyborgs are trickier to kill that I had initially anticipated. Give it a go yourself, but be warned: you will cry, mess your pants, and put your fist through the monitor*. That, or fall in love. With a robot face on a website. In which case you need to get out more.
*Geekologie is in no way, shape, or form responsible for messed pants or broken monitors.
Thanks to Jenny, the lovely bloggess, for the tip
Apr 3 2008 This Flying Lawnmower Is The Awesomest Thing I've Seen All Morning Besides My Roommate Running Through The Screen Door
Maybe you've seen this video before, because it's been around for awhile. But you know what? Suck it! *Does that stupid wrestling thing where you X your hands over your genitals* So, yeah, I didn't mean that. Anyway, this lawnmower has a secret. And that secret is the power of flight! It can't cut grass for shit, but I think we can all agree that's a small price to pay for such radical awesomeness. I was so inspired I wrote a poem about it.
Look at the lawnmower fly
High, high up in the sky
It may not cut grass
But that's okay with me
I don't cut the grass anyway
That's why I bought a goat.
*fingers snapping* Thank you, thank you. Honestly though, this thing is sweet. What could be cooler? Nothing. Well, except maybe a flying ride-on mower.
Thanks to Matthew, who doesn't need a lawnmower to fly because he was born with a jetpack, for the tip
Apr 2 2008 Problem Solved?: Tree Produces Diesel Fuel
The Brazilian tree Copaifera langsdorfii (aka the diesel tree or kerosene tree) produces a natural diesel fuel that requires very little filtering (one pass through a coffee filter) before it's ready for use. Just kidding about the coffee filter thing, I don't know what it takes. You stab the tree and presto, delicious, natural diesel. Unfortunately the fuel only has a shelf-life of 3 months. I was still excited at this point, until I started doing a little further research (being the intrepid reporter than I am) and found a source (wikipedia) that states "despite its vigorous production of oil the tree does not grow well outside of the tropics and does not show promise as a reliable source of biodiesel." So yeah, shit. But who knows, maybe with a little genetic modification we can have them walking around and talking like the Ents in Lord Of The Rings. Then we won't need cars, we'll just ride those leafy bastards.
Gasoline Grows On Trees [gizmodo]
Thanks to Bigjerm, who doesn't need gas to run because he's a solar powered sex machine, for the tip
Apr 2 2008 Surround Sound Chair Looks Ridiculous
There's a lot of things I'd do for awesome surround sound. These things include, but are not limited to: selling myself in the back of a U-Haul, lying, stealing, cheating on my taxes, drinking a gallon of milk in under an hour, and jumping out of a tall tree. However this D+S Surround Sound Chair just doesn't do it for me.
This chair prevents sound from reflecting off the walls and the ceiling and thus prevents it losing its vital character. The Chair has two speakers in front of you which is mounted on an adjustable tubing that can be fully adjusted. Two flared sound vents sit just next to your ears and look more like small trumpets. Two more circular speakers above your head complete the speaker quartet. And for some thumping bass, you have a nice sub woofer that sits neatly beneath the chair.
It costs $3,000. But if you're interested I would recommend waiting to pay until there are actual photographs proving its existence. Like those Bigfoot pictures. I was a complete non-believer until I saw those. Now, not only do I believe in monster trucks, but I think they're totally awesome.
D+S Surround Sound Chair puts normal speaker setups to shame [bornrich]
Apr 2 2008 Pole Dancer Alarm Clock Looks Cheap, Just How I Like My Alarm Clocks, Wine, & Women
This Pole-Dancing Alarm Clock looks like an utter piece of crap, a lot like the USB Stripper. It costs $40. What do you get for your two Jacksons?
Product Features:
• Spinning Pole/Dancer
• Music
• Time
• Alarm
Awesome. So she swings around to the tune of some cheesy song. On an alarm clock base that you can't even read the time on. Where in the hell do they come up with this garbage? It's uch junk. And how about the way they're objectifying women? Downright tacky. I swear, I'm tempted to write the company making this and tell them how disgusted I am. I wouldn't pay a single red cent for such a crappy crap crapingly *girlfriend steps out of room to stuff her face with ice cream* AWESOME alarm clock that I simply MUST have. One for each room of the house. Oooh, and one for the dashboard of my car. What the hell, one for the back window too.
Pole-Dancer Alarm Clock helps you rise to the occasion [dvice]
Apr 2 2008 Famous Photographs Recreated In LEGO
Mike Stimpson is a UK based photographer that recreates famous photographs using LEGO. This one is Lunch Atop a Skyscraper, from the 1932 photograph of the building of Rockefeller Center (see actual photo after the jump). Looks good. Reminds me of the Brick Testament, just much less biblical and more black and white-ical. Which, FYI, is far different than Neutical, which is a testicular implant for neutered dogs.
UPDATE: Turns out Neuticals are no longer just for dogs, but now come in equine/bull and feline models (click sizing chart and pricing guide to check them out).
Hit the jump for several more, along with links to the rest, his picture set-up gallery, and some cool Star Wars scenes.
Apr 2 2008 Walking Bike Features Sneakers, Horrible Ride
The Walking Bike was designed by Max Knight (not to be confused with Max Rook or Max Bishop) and has a wheel of shoes instead of the traditional metal and rubber. I swear I've seen this idea in a movie or something. Anybody else remember that? Anyway, the thing actually goes, and there's a video of it in action after the jump. And by "in action" I mean a guy attempting to cross a street on it, realizing it was a bad idea, and getting off.
Hit it for the video.
Continue Reading " Walking Bike Features Sneakers, Horrible Ride "
Apr 2 2008 Software Program Detects Female Beauty
Tel Aviv University student Amit Kagian has created a program that can detect female faces and features that will be considered beautiful by most people.
It uses 98 parameters that showed up in the faces ranked most beautiful by 30 test subjects, including facial symmetry, hair color, skin texture, and deviation from what was determined to be an "average face."
Allegedly it has proven to be accurate at predicting faces that test groups will find beautiful as well. Super duper, but I don't care. You want to know what a beautiful woman looks like? I'll tell you: She has hair on her head or is bald, has teeth (at least some, but none is okay), preferably doesn't wear a patch (although I can make exceptions), and lacks a penis or it is at least smaller than mine. Actually, scratch all that, my only requirement is boobs. Big or small, I love them all. Hey, that rhymed. I love you ladies. *blink* Damnit, that was supposed to be a wink. *blink* Aww, screw it.
Software spots femaile beauty, but we can already do that [dvice]
Apr 2 2008 Space Invader Pillows Will Invade Your Dreams
HAHAHAHHH!! Did you read that title I wrote? Do you get it? Because I don't. I asked my roommate if he thought it was funny but he just swung his bong at me. So I guess it's not. Oh well. Anywhichway, these are 30th anniversary Space Invader pillows. They're available for pre-order (shipping in July) and cost $30 each. Now don't get me wrong, I love Space Invaders, but I don't know if I need them in bed. I mean what if one of those little alien bastards tries invading your ear while you're sleeping? Then what? You gonna blast yourself in the head to get him out? Because I've got the feeling that'd f*** your brain up. Bad. Not that I care about my brain all that much, but my ears? Jesus, I've got great looking ears.
Space Invaders 30th Anniversary Pillows [albotas]
Apr 2 2008 Fastest High-Resolution Inkjet Printhead
Kyocera recently announced it has created a printhead capable of printing 1,000 A4 pages per minute at 600 x 600 dpi (~17 pages/sec!). That seems pretty damn fast. I can't recall the last time I needed 1,000 pages a minute, but it's for commercial applications anyways, and I hate commercials. Global sales of the head started this month, so they should be out there pretty soon. Oooh, this gives me a business idea. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I thought so, I knew you and I were on the same page. Two words: Let's pirate nudey mags.
1,000 sheets of A4 paper per minute [7gadgets]
Apr 1 2008 World Of Warcraft Console Game Coming
Blizzard recently announced a console version of World of Warcraft is in the works. It's called The Molten Core and gameplay consists of ogres, fire monsters, and other nasty f***ers duking it out in the center of the earth (I assume).
"Blizzard got its start in console gaming, and we've always been excited about returning to this arena," stated Mike Morhaime, CEO and cofounder of Blizzard Entertainment. "Additionally, we've wanted to reintroduce the 40-player raid dungeon experience for some time. With World of Warcraft: The Molten Core, we're able to do both."
No word on a drop date, but I guarantee my MMORPGROTFL playing roommate will stay up for three days playing it non-stop when it does. You should have smelled him after his last go at it -- ripe. And not strawberries and peaches ripe either, I'm talking baby shit ripe.
A ton of must see screenshots, concept art, and a link to the trailer after the jump.
Apr 1 2008 Fullmoon Table Is Sweet, Glows In The Dark
The Fullmoon sideboard table by Sotirios Papadopoulos (hell yeah!) has a giant, and accurate, picture of the moon on it. But that's not all! It, get this -- glows! In the dark. It's painted with a special eco-safe glowing paint that is only slightly radioactive. Not enough to really do anything to you, but don't have children. Not that they'd be affected by the table or anything, I just don't like kids. Kidding, I love the little bastards. And the table won't really do anything to you. Except keep you up at night. Maybe stub your toe in the morning.
A picture of the table being not so glow-y after the jump.
Continue Reading " Fullmoon Table Is Sweet, Glows In The Dark "
Apr 1 2008 Dude Builds LEGO Miller Park, It Is Awesome
Tim Kaebisch is the 22-year-old Brewers fan behind this wicked LEGO Miller Park. It combines two of my favorite things in the whole world -- LEGO and beer (loosely). I don't drink Miller though. Anyways, Tim has been working on the design for over 7 years, and this is the model's 4th major version. It features a fully retractable roof & outfield panels, and cost several thousand dollars in blocks. Good job Tim, my hat is off to you. My pants, however, are not. I mean they're off, just not off to you. That would be weird. HEY BRENDA! WHY DON'T YOU JUST TAKE A PICTURE, IT'LL LAST LONGER! I really wish I had an office instead of a cube, my coworkers are total pervs. PAUL, NO! TURN AROUND! YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS WALKING BY HERE.
Tim's Build Page
Thanks to Adrienne, who can't look in a mirror without the fear of killing herself with her own beauty, for the tip
Apr 1 2008 Man's Visual Database Of Star Wars Figures
This may look like the character selection screen from the LEGO Star Wars game, but it's not. It's a man's visual database of all his Star Wars figurines. As you can see he has several. Over 600, including doubles. I like his little database, you can view it anyway you want: by the movie or series the toy came from, year, etc. Nice. Say, you don't happen to offer this service for others do you? I've got a little collection that could use some organizing. Hell, I'm not ashamed -- I'll just come out and say it. Power Rangers. Are you happy now? The cat's out of the bag. The eagle has landed. My penis is waving goodbye. Watching his hope of ever meeting a vagina quickly fade into the distance.
My Star Wars Collection
via
My Star Wars Collection [likecool]
Apr 1 2008 Pixel Sofa Features Big Squares Of Color
The Pixel Couch was designed by Royal College of Art graduate student Christian Zuzunaga and will be sold by Italian furniture company Moroso. No word on how much they'll cost, but they look like vomit. I want one badly. If you have a girlfriend like mine that's prone to puking and peeing the couch (I TOLD YOU I'D TELL EVERYONE!) then this thing would be perfect.
UPDATE: The woman called and told me to take the post down because she's embarrassed. I told her to relax, that it was an April Fools' joke. She said it wasn't funny because she really does pee the sofa. I just laughed and hung up.
Two more close-ups after the jump.
Continue Reading " Pixel Sofa Features Big Squares Of Color "
Apr 1 2008 Video: Road Safety Awareness Test
I think somebody else might have sent me a tip about this video, and if so I apologize for not being able to find it again. My inbox is so jam-packed with requests for my bank account information and advertisements for incorrectly spelled dong-enhancing pills that I may have deleted it. Anyway, this is a public service video for road safety. I don't want to ruin it, but I thought it was pretty neat when I watched it. And no, it's not an April Fools' joke. Nor are there any boobs.
Thanks to Jered, who is awesome as hell and a great cyclist, for the tip
Apr 1 2008 Steampunkish Vader Mask For Sale On eBay
This is a steampunkish Vader helmet some dude made out of an old mask bought from Disney World 14 years ago. It's looking alright. Nothing I'd have on display for every girl that came over to see, but definitely something I'd don in the bedroom for a choice few. The auction includes a chestpiece/respirator (picture after the jump) and currently stands at $22.28 with 2 days and 9 hours remaining. However the reserve has not been met. And you know what else hasn't been met? My soulmate. Well, she's probably been met, just not by me. And knowing that she's out there doing battle with some other Jedi's lightsaber makes me sick to my stomach.
A couple more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Steampunkish Vader Mask For Sale On eBay "
Apr 1 2008 Pii Pii Brothers: Exactly What Is Sounds Like
Super Pii Pii Brothers is exactly what it sounds like: a virtual peeing game. It's available now for $35 from ThinkGeek and comes with a pair of underwear to connect the Wiimote to.
The play mechanics are simple. Prepare yourself by strapping on the included belt harness and jacking in your Wiimote. A series of toilets are presented on screen and the challenge is to tilt your body to control a never-ending stream of pee. Get as much pee in the toilets as you can while spilling as little on the floor as possible. Sounds easy eh? Well the toilets open and close whack-a-mole style and occasionally the stray cat or other cute critter pops up. Spray a cat for extra points.
Wow. Thankfully it's an April Fools joke. Because now I'm gonna manufacture the game and get rich. Rich I say!
Uncensored picture and a video of my girlfriend playing after the jump.
Continue Reading " Pii Pii Brothers: Exactly What Is Sounds Like "
Mar 31 2008 Eye Candy: Video Games In The Real World
Some guy named Mike (aka Pixel Fantasy on Flickr) took some random pictures off the web and inserted video game sprites in them to ramp up the cool factor. As you can see that's some Pitfall action there in that picture. Make sure to hit the jump for a ton more, including Zelda, Donkey Kong, Mario Kart and *gasp* Blaster Master! Now I know this is the opposite of the pictures, but how cool would it be if you could actually enter your favorite video game and interact with the characters and surroundings as yourself? Shit I'm high. Gosh I really wish that was possible. That would be the freaking awesomest thing EVER! I'd totally enter Zelda. *snickers*
Hit the jump for a ton more.
Continue Reading " Eye Candy: Video Games In The Real World "
Mar 31 2008 Treepees: Ground-Dwelling Tents Are Lame
Treepees are tents that hang from trees. They kind of remind me of the dangling blue-balls of survival we saw awhile ago. They come in green, brown, or pink and cost $600. You just hang it from a sturdy branch, stake the four corners (if you want), and you're good to go. I want one, because I hate the ground. It's just so...beneath me. All the time. I don't even like touching it. So the treepee is right up my alley. Besides, I've always wanted to know what it's like to be a bear's punching bag. Bring it you sissy-ass grizzly, you hit like a cub!
One more picture of a pink one after the jump.
Continue Reading " Treepees: Ground-Dwelling Tents Are Lame "
Mar 31 2008 Legit: Tron Lightcycle Scene In Cardboard
Remember Tron, the awesome as hell movie from the 80's where Flynn get digitized and has to fight in a computer system? Speaking of which, does anybody know where I can get my hands on one of those sweet glowing frisbee things? Anyway, long story short -- Tron is awesome, I would totally rule at that jai alai game they play to the death, they're going to make a sequel, and thinking about it gives me a pantstick. This is a video of the lightcycle seen from the original done in cardboard. It was well made. Not unlike the blanket fort I constructed this morning. My roommates don't call me Frank Lloyd Geekologie for nothing you know. Nope, I had to brandish a firearm and make them swear they would.
Cardboard Tron [notcot]
Mar 31 2008 Lifesize And Realistic R2-D2 And C-3PO
Massive Star Wars fan? More money than you know what to do with? If so get yourself these lifesized R2-D2 and C-3PO collectibles.
Sideshow Collectibles' C-3PO and R2-D2 are the most authentic life-size reproductions ever available to private collectors. Available now for pre-order, these highly-anticipated collectibles will begin shipping in 3rd Quarter 2008. Crafted of fiberglass and various quality materials, these sought-after droids are sure to be the centerpieces of any Star Wars collection, perfect for your home, office, or theater room.
Each will have some light-up and sound effect features, along with a complementary magnetic restraining bolt in case you want to treat the mother like a slave. R2-D2 will set you back $5,450 and C3-PO a staggering $5,950 with pre-order deposits of $950 required. Wow, that's a lot of space-dollars. Now I'm not saying you save your money and pass on these, but you should. At least on C-3. He was such a whiny little asscap in all the movies. I <3 U R2.
Sideshow Collectibles R2-D2 and C-3PO
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Sideshow Collectibles Life-Size R2-D2 & C-3PO [ohgizmo]
Mar 31 2008 Seoul Commune 2026 Looks, Uh, Interesting
Since I know so many of you out there love conceptually crazy buildings, here comes another -- Seoul Commune 2026. Not exactly the design I would have gone for, but what do I know? I've only won the damn commune design competition eight years running. Anyway, Green Towers is to be built in Seoul, South Korea and cover approximately 400,000 square meters. Each of the 15 towers will range in size from 16 to 53 stories, and all will look ridiculous. What exactly was the inspiration for these things? Coral? Mushrooms? Misshapen dongs?
The towers' functions are separated into public, private, and commercial, offering purely-private rooms called "cells", communal spaces for public activity and welfare/medical facilities. The base of the 15 towers, where the park merges with the towers, creates the widest spaces of the site. Above, the first floor is 75 meters wide and extends up to the height of the first five stories. The ground floor space is reserved for pedestrians. Three walkways converge there and circulate around each tower's elevator core.
Screw it, I'd live in one.
Several more pictures of the ridiculousness after the jump.
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Mar 31 2008 Mixed Feelings: Monkey Riding Motorcycle
This is a video of a monkey riding a motorcycle. I have mixed feelings about it. While a monkey zooming around on a little motorcycle is admittedly pretty neat, I can't help but feel sorry for the little guy. I mean he's doing it right in the damn traffic. That's dangerous, and no way to treat an animal. It's different when you get your little brother to perform dangerous stunts for your amusement, but monkeys? They have feelings.
UPDATE: Turns out that wanker on the curb is pulling him around with a leash. Anybody know where that guy lives? I've got my steel-toed boots laced up and they're itching for some nuts.
Thanks to Tom, who can ride a motorcycle with his eyes closed, backwards, with no hands, all the while making out with a chick clad in leather, for the tip
Mar 31 2008 Underwater Habitat For Sale On eBay
After the homemade island debacle of a couple of weeks ago, I was reluctant to post this underwater habitat. But I'm doing it anyways in hopes of normalizing the situation and moving on with my life. For sale on eBay is a 300 square foot underwater habitat that is going to attempt a World Record in June for longest uninterrupted stay beneath water.
The record attempt will be used as a publicity event to highlight the habitat and the future company which will build these Worldwide. The successful bidder will have the option of becoming a partner in the future company. (25%) It will be there for a period of 3 months and then raised again. The living space is that of a Large RV (300sq ft) and it has full access to the internet and cable TV. The Habitat Waterford is connected by umbilical cord to the surface with power, fresh air and telecommunication being piped underwater. With no use of petrochemicals.
The bidding starts at $50,000 with a Buy-It-Now of $80,000. The record breaking will be attempted off the coast of Miami, but if you don't live there they say they can build these things anywhere. Real? Fake? Old? Old and real fake? You be the judge. But not the bailiff, I get the gun and to do the oath thing with the Bible.
UPDATE: Looked at the myspace page for the guy behind this. Questionable (but not as bad as Jack). Posted after the click. WARNING: His sultry stare can and will make you cry like a baby.
Several more schematics and info about the thing after the jump.
Mar 31 2008 Bronze Boba Fett PEZ Dispenser Looks Niiice
Scott, a man who loves both fruit flavored sugar cubes and Star Wars, cast a Boba Fett PEZ dispenser in bronze.
I made this using the lost wax casting process with an organic burnout. The material is silicon bronze. The original sleeve for the Pez broke, so I cannibalize dparts from another dispenser: Simba from the Lion King. The hole in the body resulted from an incomplete casting of the thin part; probably could have had better sprue placement. I like the results, though. The replacement sleeve was modified for the "battle scar" effect, revealing the Pez. Finishing was minimal, with a pretty standard bronze patina.
Great job, Scott. And you were right about the battle scar, that turned out pretty awesome. Now you'll always know when you're running low on on your sugar fix. Speaking of fixes *shoots 50cc's of granulated sugar into arm* Ahhhh, that's the stuff. Wait, something's not right. *reads box* Iodized salt! Not again.
Several more pictures of Boba PEZ after the jump.
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