Mar 21 2008 Want An Island? Jack Will Build You One
Want your own artificial island? Then you've come to the right place. Because Jack, that dapper assclown in the picture there, will build you one. That's right, for a paltry $400,000 Jack promises a sweet 110 foot movable island. He has an eBay auction going (with a starting bid of $300,000) and very professional website, but this is the only picture I could find. And it's not even of the island, it's his underwater home schematic!
Be the first to own this beautiful, unique 2500 Sq. Ft. home. The home actually sits 20 feet below the ocean's surface under a man made, movable island. What does the interior look like? That's up to you! You have a 50 ft. by 50 ft. square to do with as you please. I build the box, you dice it up however suits you. All the exterior walls are made of bullet proof glass giving you an unprecedented view of life under the sea.. This home can be yours for just $5,000,000!
Now, if you look at the graphic there it all makes sense. As you can see it has all the necessities, like floating squares. And let us not forget about the island surface! That's a must have. Oh look, buoyancy and square are spelled incorrectly. Wow, sending this guy my life savings is looking more and more like the smartest decision I'll ever made.
eBay Auction
and
Product Website
Thanks to GRRR25, king of tiger people, for the tip
Mar 21 2008 Washing Machine/Toilet Combo Saves Water
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- just pee in the freaking shower like a normal person. Well for those of you out there that want to go green but don't want to pee on your foot, there's the WashUP washing machine/toilet combo. Basically after a load of clothes are washed the machine saves the water to later flush the toilet. As an added bonus if you happen to run out of toilet paper you can just grab one of your roommates shirts out of the thing. Awesome design. Now I can die happy knowing I've seen what a washing machine would look like riding piggy back on a shitter.
WashUP: A washing machine on your toilet [slipperybrick]
Mar 21 2008 End Of The World Clock Is Inaccurate
Artist Gianni Motti had a dream. A dream of a really long LED timer that displays an approximate countdown to the sun's demise and resulting destruction of the earth. It started in 2005, so we're at about 5 billion years minus a few. But I've got some bad news for you Gianni. The world will end when I say so. And it's going to be a hell of a lot sooner than 5 billion years. That's right, and there's nothing that blue douche Captain Planet and his kiddy companions can do about it either. MUWHAHAHA!! *cough, cough* *chin falls off* F***ing leprosy.
clock counts down to the end of the world [technabob]
Mar 21 2008 Call Of Duty 4 Gunshots Techno Song
Following in the footsteps of the songs made only with sounds from operating systems comes this entry. It's a techno-ish song made using the gun sounds from Call Of Duty 4. You might like it. If, of course, you're the kind of person that takes E and spend hours dancing around in the dark with glowsticks and sweating your ass off. Just kidding, I liked it and I don't do that. Anymore. My only complaint is that after repeated listening it started to sound like someone banging on a metal trashcan. Oh my God two mourning doves are doing it on the branch outside my window! Spring has sprung! At last. Ha, he's done already. Good show. Now the female's pecking him in the eyes.
Thanks to Skeps, who all the ladies love, for the tip
Mar 21 2008 Little Car Gets A Staggering 8,923 MPG, Doesn't Have Room To Make Out In The Back
The Microjoule competition car is the lovechild of a caterpillar and a jellybean. And maybe a go-cart that was originally just filming but ended up getting in on the action. The amazingly green vehicle can "make the journey between New York and Los Angeles over three times on just one gallon of gas." !!! It has won Shell's Eco-Marathon every time since the car's original inception in 1992. "Amazingly the Microjoule doesn't have any fancy tricks -- it's just an aerodynamic, lightweight one-seater that runs off gasoline, but runs for a long time." Man, there has got to be some trick. Like a hamster wheel or a sorcerer or something. Something. Cars just can't go nearly 9,000 on a single gallon of gas. So I'm just going to go ahead and set the record straight right here: Magic. That's right folks, The Gathering.
Microjoule competition car gets amazing 8,923 miles per gallon [dvice]
Mar 21 2008 New Sony Computers Come With Option For No Extra Garbage Installed, Charge You For It
Sony has a new product option available when you buy a laptop from them online. It's called Fresh Start, and it's not so much a product as a lack of products. Namely all the useless crap programs that typically come installed on a new computer. And it only costs $50! That's right, the Fresh Start option will "free up valuable hard drive space and conserve memory and processing power while maximizing overall system performance right from the start." Wow, Sony, wow. I understand you get paid by all the vendors to include their stupid trialware, but this is a dick move. But since I'm such a nice guy, I'd like to offer you a little deal of my own. It's called the Geekologie writer's New Beginnings option of nut kicking. I'll be running a special when I show up at corporate early next week. Everyone is still getting kicked in the sack, but for $50 I'll wear a flip-flop instead of a combat boot.
UPDATE: Apparently Sony caught wind of my upcoming visit and decided to drop the $50 charge starting tomorrow.
Lame: Sony Charging $50 NOT To Put Crapware On Your New Laptop [ohgizmo]
Mar 20 2008 Tetris Mirror Is Reflective, Many Pieces
The Tetris mirror is the brainchild of UK product designer Soner Ozenc. It's a mirror made of 13 separate interlocking pieces. They come in gold and silver surfaces and totally suck because there's no such thing as single square tetrads in Tetris. Come on Soner, get with the program. No word on price or availability, but I don't care anyways, because this thing would be a danger to have around. With so many separate little mirrors, one is bound to fall off the wall and break. And you know what that means don't you? That's right -- you'll step on the broken pieces one night on the way to the bathroom to drain your snake. Your need to frequently urinate will be due to a bladder weakened from holding it too long too many times . You'll cut your foot open and leave a blood trail down the hallway. Then your wife will wake up and freak out because you're not in bed and there's a blood trail leading out of the room. She'll call the cops and say you've been murdered even though in reality you're safely asleep on the john. Then you'll hear a pound on the door, wake up, and forget to put your pants back on before answering it. It'll be the cops, and they'll all laugh at your penis.
tetris mirror reflects your puzzled expression [technabob]
Mar 20 2008 How To Mod A Disposable Camera To Shock The User, Or How To Be A Real Jerk
This is how to modify a disposable camera to redirect the voltage that would normally be used to charge the capacitor to shock the unsuspecting user instead. I actually saw some kids do this in middle school a long time ago, but all they did was take the camera apart and take the two wires and twist them so that they were crossed but not touching. Then they'd slap you on the arm with it and they'd connect and shock. It was ghetto, and I'm pretty sure those kids have long since gotten their first taste of prison food. Anyways, this version is a lot classier than that one. There's some footage of people using it after the tutorial, and it looks like it works pretty good. I'm just glad they didn't try it on me, because they'd be in store for a little shock prank of their own. And that shock would come in the form of a live 240V wire being jammed up their ass. I swear, I'm such a prankster.
The Stunning Camera [pyroelectric]
Thanks to Chris, who is stunning himself and who I would not actually do that to, for the tip
Mar 20 2008 The Eiffel Tower's New Celebratory Party Hat
To celebrate the Eiffel Tower's 120th anniversary as one of the world's most recognizable phallic landmarks, it's going to don a temporary party hat designed by architectural firm Serero.
The design is based on a generative script, creating branches out of the primary structure of the tower. Inspired by the structural concept of Eiffel of three-dimensional cross bracing beams, the script unfolds along curved lines the “DNA” of the tower. The script used the existing structure at the top of the tower ( a 10 by 10 meters cube) to generate 3 structural weaves, which are interconnected. These layers are combined to create a woven complex, which is based on the redundancy and the non-repetition of patterns to increase its structural performance. In opposition with modern engineering (based on the concept of repetition and optimization), the project for the Eiffel tower extension is based on an alternative model of high performance.
Cool, I guess. What better way to celebrate a landmark than building it an awesome party hat? I can't think of any. I suggest we do something similar for the Statue of Liberty's upcoming 125th anniversary. Based on her pose, I'm thinking it'd be pretty easy to make Lady Liberty look like she's funneling a beer.
A ton more pictures of the tower's addition after the jump.
Continue Reading " The Eiffel Tower's New Celebratory Party Hat "
Mar 20 2008 Under-bed Flat Panel Television System
You may have already seen this awesome television raising system before because it's been out for awhile, but if not, check it out. Made by MK-1 Studio, the system stores a 50" LCD or plasma television under the bed, and then whips it out for your viewing pleasure in 35 seconds. Unfortunately I heard the damn thing costs $14,000, which may or not be true. I did hear it from a reliable source though. And by reliable source I mean someone on another website's comments section who posts under the alias Sketchyjack.
A MUST SEE VIDEO of the lift in action after the jump.
Mar 20 2008 Guitar Hero For DS Looks, Um, Something
So this is how Guitar Hero: On Tour will be played on the Nintendo DS. By strumming your stylus on the touchscreen and mashing buttons on a fretboard attachment. You know, I really think that this version of the game is getting dangerously close to playing real guitar. The game is supposed to ship sometime this summer and it better have an option to flip the screen or something so you can play left-handed. Because otherwise it proves my sneaking suspicion that Activision is run by a bunch of righty fascists.
UPDATE: Questionable commercial added after the jump.
Continue Reading " Guitar Hero For DS Looks, Um, Something "
Mar 20 2008 Dieting: As Simple As Wearing Blue Glasses
Everybody knows McDingdongdonald's and other fast food restaurants use red and yellow colors in their logos and restaurants because they're warm and make you hungry. And that's why they shy away from cold blues, because they have the opposite effect. Well now, thanks to these sweet Japanese glasses, dieting is as simple as rocking a pair of blue lenses! According to a horribly translated article:
It stimulates the physiological circulation of the human that it is appetite the effect of red approaches the brain among non consciousness, would like to eat generally, that it increases. It is said that the appetite it calms the excitation of the brain above that would like to eat blue color conversely, is held down. Those where the color physiology is applied are these sunglasses. “You drink continuously” if and so on poor even with the person where “it moves”, this because just you apply with easily is, it is easy to continue without being chased in stress, probably will be.
Perfect sense. The glasses cost about $20 here, or you can do what I did and take your grandpa's bifocals and cover them in blue magic marker. I must admit -- I'm not feeling very hungry. I am, however, dizzy.
Lose Weight by Wearing Sunglasses [albotas]
Mar 20 2008 Sleep Masks May Pose A Danger In Bed
FreakyOldWoman is a freaky old woman that makes things and sells them on Etsy. Recently she made a line of disturbing sleep masks that will make you kill your partner if you wake up and see them in one. Several of them made me queasy just looking at them. The picture there is of a steampunk model, but they get a lot more disturbing than that. They're all $10 apiece with free shipping, so some of you may actually want one. They're too creepy for me though. Besides, my girlfriend and I have other sleep related problems to concern ourselves with. Like, oh I don't know, waking up to a cat shitting on the pillow between our faces.
Several more masks, along with a link to all of them, after the jump.
Mar 20 2008 Gnomes Are Real, As Awesome As I Imagined
Apparently a gnome is terrorizing the town of General Guemes in Argentina. Although from the report he didn't actually do anything but try to cross the street (video after the jump!). I mean it's not like he's sucking the blood of your goats like the Chupacabra does. He's just trying to get his gnome on. Leave the poor bastard alone. He's probably just wandering the countryside looking for a nice garden to accentuate.
Must see crappy quality video of the handsome little devil after the jump. But turn down the volume -- the guy filming shrieks like a little girl at the end. Oh -- and if anybody can translate what the kids are talking about I'd like to know.
Continue Reading " Gnomes Are Real, As Awesome As I Imagined "
Mar 19 2008 Infinity LED Bricks Really Take Me Back
LED Glass Bricks are a recent winner of one of the coveted "Red Dot" awards for good design. It's basically an infinity mirror with integrated LEDs so you get an awesome light show that stretches on into, well, a really far distance. The color shifting blocks can even be computer-controlled, for a really crazy lightshow. Damn these take me back. Back to my days on the dance floor of Studio 54, where, depending on who you ask*, I may or may not have made out with Eva Gabor while doing zooters off Elton John's ass.
* If you ask me, it happened. If you ask anybody else I wasn't born yet.
Mar 19 2008 The Runt Still Manages To Pack A Punch
At only 3.25", the Runt stun gun is pretty damn small (but still puts me to shame). They come in 350,000, 650,000 and 950,000 volt models and there's even a rechargeable 950 model that plugs directly into the wall via retractable plug. It'll operate about 300-500 times on a full charge, which is good because thats how many times I like to shock attackers. The rechargeable version costs $70, and all the other ones are cheaper. I'd been thinking about getting a stun gun for my girlfriend for some time, and I decided to go with one of these since it's nice and compact. She hates it. Mostly because I told her it was a handheld electrolysis hair remover. You should have seen her trying to get rid of her mustache, priceless.
The Runt - A Matchbook Sized Stun Gun [ohgizmo]
Mar 19 2008 Music Video About How To Quit Playing Video Games And Get With Women Instead
This is a music video by Dragon Boy Suede and Jonah Ray entitled "Quit Playing Video Games And Get Laid". That's what it's about. It features lots of video games and awesome lyrics like "Why you so obsessed with Donkey Kong? Pay some attention to your lonely dong. " Needless to say it's my new favorite song. And I'm totally going to follow its advice. Well, after a few more rounds of Smash Brothers Brawl.
Quit Playing Video Games And Get Laid [superdeluxe]
Mar 19 2008 New And Improved Bookmark Uses Air
Call me old-fashioned, but I still read books. Big ones with lots of words. And typically I just use a bill I'm not going to pay or a piece of toilet paper to mark my page. Or, if I'm desperate, I'll just dog-ear the hell out of it. Well now a group of designers have developed the ABRACADABRA bookmark. All you have to do is squeeze the air filled bladder, and BA-BOOM!, your book explodes open to the right page, showering you with torn pages. Just kidding, it just transfers the air to the other air chamber and makes a little space where you left off. I know, my design was way better. And what's up with the copy there in the graphic? First, I doubt Aladdin would appreciate someone squeezing his tube any time they want to get their read on. And secondly, the copywriter who wrote that thing about "starting the story that leads you to a whole new world" should be fired for being high at work.
Puffy Bookmark [yankodesign]
Mar 19 2008 Bouncing Oil Is Neat, Proves Many Theories
This is a picture of a stream of oil entering a pool of the same substance, bouncing off the bottom, and arcing back out.
Normally a liquid stream colliding with a pool of liquid merges immediately upon contact, perhaps also bringing air into the pool with it. However when the pool is moving as the stream hits, it can slide along the surface being separated from the pool by a thin layer of air. The air layer supports the jet and lubricates the motion between it and the bath. The same process happens when sliding a piece of paper across a desk or when a car hydroplanes on a wet road. But instead of a hard surface like the desk or the road, the jet is on top of a liquid surface, which is flexible like a trampoline. Because of the weight of the jet and the force required to change directions, the surface is pressed downward and a dent is formed in the shape of a bowl. The sliding jet then ramps out of this bowl and into the air.
Now I have no idea whatsoever what that means, but damn does it look neat. And I'm not much of one for reading long scientific explanations, but I'm fairly certain this proves many theories, including, but not limited to: the theory that wormholes exist. That time travel is possible. That science is cool, and that motor oil makes a great sexual lubricant in a pinch.
Two more pictures and a worthwhile VIDEO after the jump.
Continue Reading " Bouncing Oil Is Neat, Proves Many Theories "
Mar 19 2008 Bat-Like Spy Plane Not Endorsed By Batman
The Army has awarded the College of Engineering at the University of Michigan $10 million dollars to develop this bat-inspired spy plane. The flying mammal plane would "gather data from sights, sounds and smells in urban combat zones and transmit information back to a soldier in real time." Among the top developmental priorities are microelectronics for the 6" spy plane.
They will develop sensors, communication tools and batteries for this micro-aerial vehicle that's been dubbed "the bat." Engineers envision tiny cameras for stereo vision, an array of mini microphones that could home in on sounds from different directions, and small detectors for nuclear radiation and poisonous gases. Low-power miniaturized radar and a very sensitive navigation system would help the bat find its way at night. Energy scavenging from solar, wind, vibration and other sources would recharge the bat's lithium battery. The aircraft would use radio to send signals back to troops.
Awesome, I hope it actually happens. Otherwise that's a lot of money down the drain for a work bench covered with scrap metal and electronic parts. Say, does anybody know how I can score one of these $10 million Army grants? I've got a great idea for urban combat reconnaissance missions. It's called me in a trenchcoat with a spy camera bow-tie.
A closeup render of the bat's head area after the jump.
Continue Reading " Bat-Like Spy Plane Not Endorsed By Batman "
Mar 19 2008 R.I.P. Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008)
If you haven't heard, Arthur C. Clarke passed away in Sri Lanka after suffering from breathing problems. He was 90. Best known for writing 2001: A Space Odyssey and developing the idea of geosynchronous orbiting satellites, Clarke was a talented writer, inventor and futurist. I hope even you Mac haters out there can look past that computer in the back and take this time to remember a brilliant mind.
RIP Arthur C. Clarke (December 16, 1917 - March 19, 2008)
Writer Arthur C. Clarke dies at 90 [yahoonews]
Mar 19 2008 Intravenous Lamp Provides A Sickly Light
I hate the hospital. I can see white and pass out just thinking about it. But for some reason I found myself strangely attracted to this "Lichtinfusion" Lamp by Christian Maas. As you can see it looks like a bunch of intravenous bottles with lights inside and tubes dangling. Kind of morbid, but neat. Now what you need to do is take one of these and add a naked guy that looks like the Unabomber. Let's say this guy, oh I don't know, drank “two or three glasses” of vodka and drove his car into a parked fire truck. Imagine the shuffle of slippers and this thing squeaking across the floor as he tries to make his way over to your side of the room whenever you turn off the lights. And that, my friends, is the true story of why I don’t like hospitals.
One more picture with the lights off after the jump.
Continue Reading " Intravenous Lamp Provides A Sickly Light "
Mar 18 2008 OLD!: How (Not) To Safely Transport Pets
For all the lovers of old news out there, here's a post for you: the dog-toting running board sack. It was published in Popular Mechanics in 1936 and still remains the safest way to travel with your pet.
When you take your dog along for a ride, but prefer not having it inside the car, it can ride safely and comfortably in this sack, which is carried on the running board. The bottom of the sack is clamped to the running board and the top is fastened to the lower part of an open window with hooks, covered with small rubber tubing to prevent marring the car.
I know what you're thinking, and yes, this is a great idea. I'm going to build one for my wife's dog and take her for a spin around town. I'll let you know how it goes.
UPDATE: Okay the dog bit me and refused to get in the sack. Luckily I'm babysitting my little brother later so maybe he'll want to go for a ride.
UPDATE: I backed over him. It's okay though, I was smart enough to test the sack on a bike first before moving to a car. I've made a few modifications, and I think he's down for another go at it.
UPDATE: Okay, I think he's somewhere between the gas station and the movie theater.
Modern Mechanix Round-UP [boingboing]
Mar 18 2008 Ben Heck's Updated One-Handed Controller
Remember Ben Heck? He's the one responsible for the Portable XBox 360 Elite Laptop and One-Handed Controller. Well now he's developed another one-hander that looks even crazier than the first. You use it by moving the bottom analog stick on your leg. I've been looking for a convenient way to free up a hand while playing video games, and this just might be the ticket. Great job Ben, I applaud your efforts to help bring gaming to those who may otherwise be unable to play. Now make a left-handed version.
Ben Heck refines his one-handed Xbox 360 controller [engadget]
Mar 18 2008 ICQ P2P Toothpaste Is Highly Questionable
An Israeli pharmaceutical company is releasing ICQ toothpaste that'll ""help P2P communication (person to person) while reducing bad breath." Awesome. I'm going bald, so I really hope they come out with a hair balm for S2E (self to esteem) communication too. You know, it seems like only yesterday I met my first girlfriend on ICQ. I would always race home to the computer to chat with her after I got out of school. It got pretty serious and we finally we decided to meet one day. And yes, you guessed it -- it was my best friend's dad trolling for boys. He broke up with me a few weeks later.
ICQ, the Toothpaste [gizmodo]
Thanks to Steve, who has shining white teeth and pleasant-smelling breath, for the tip
Mar 18 2008 What Took So Long?: The R2-D2 Trashcan
Man, people have been calling R2-D2 a trashcan forever. Why in the hell it took someone so long to finally monopolize on this idea and make THE AWSOMEST TRASHCAN IN THE GALAXY is a mysery to me. Available from Urban Outfitters the cute little guy stands 24" tall and costs $148. And as if that wasn't already sweet enough, he's a no-touch model. So all you have to do to throw something away is just stomp on his penis there in the front and presto, he opens.
UPDATE: Turns out that's not his penis, just another foot.
R2D2 trash can guarantees instant membership in the geekdom hall of fame [dvice]
Mar 18 2008 Rock Band Mod Uses Real Guitar String
Rock Band just not real enough for you? Would playing a string instead of a strum-bar help? If so then this is the mod for you. All you have to do is dremel and drill the hell out of your guitar and install it. The patent pending kit is available on eBay with a starting bid of $75 plus an ultra-freaking-ridiculous shipping price of $24. You know, that's what I hate about eBay sellers -- their unbelievable shipping charges. I mean, this kit is two pieces of wood, some springs, screws and wire. What the French toast? It's like the time I bought a book and didn't realize the seller was asking $40 shipping. You know what I told that jerk? I told him I didn't want it anymore and if he even thought about leaving me negative feedback I'd find out where he lives and kill his whole family. I take my 100% positive feedback seriously.
Another picture of the unassembled kit and a video of it in action after the jump.
Mar 18 2008 Make Sure She Says No By Proposing With The USB Engagement Ring
Being pressured by your significant other to pop the question? Are you just not ready for that kind of commitment but want to get in some good asking practice? Enter the USB Engagement ring. Made as a set of two, they can be connected to transfer data to each other (similar to how you can transfer disease with your privates). Now I don't think I need to tell you this is not the way to get engaged. Nope, this is the way to get kneed in the balls. Unless you're down on one knee, in which case it's the way to get your teeth kicked out.
Oh, and as a side note, those are definitely both man hands in the picture. And yes, the pimp in the back is the same minister that officiated my wedding.
Swarovski Engagement Ring Will Surely Get you Turned Down [ohgizmo]
Mar 18 2008 Transformer Zippos Have The Power To Transform Things Into Things On Fire
These Transformer Zippos are a limited edition release from Japan. They come in black and silver and only 300 of each were made. As you can see from the picture, they're lighters with Optimus Prime's profile on them. I assumed they were snatched up already, but checked eBay and found them available for $110-$140. I like them and all, but I think that it's kind of wrong that when you open the lighter it looks like Prime's head has been cut in half and there's a flame coming out of it. I mean show the robot some respect, he did help save the damn planet. And speaking of helping save the planet, the neighbors (who are probably Decepticon sympathizers) are getting pretty upset about my environmental commitment to peeing in the front yard.
Zippo Transformers, Shiny Pyrotechnical Technology [uberreview]
Mar 18 2008 Robotic BigDog Is Amazingly Lifelike, Scary, Headless, Awesome, Leggy, Strong
This is a new video of Boston Dynamics' incredibly mobile BigDog quadruped robot. The robot has gone through several modifications since its inception, and this is the new-and-improved version. As is evident from the video, the scary little bastard can now climb hills, jump, and carry more than 340 pounds of drugs over the border. Did I mention it looks too much like a real animal? Because it does. And I really did get sad when at 0:35 into the video the guy kicks the shit out of it to show off its self balancing skills. It made me want to punch that guy in the face. You can't just go around kicking robotic animals like that, it's cruel. Robots have feelings too.
UPDATE: It turns out robots don't have feelings after all. Which is actually good news, because I've been wanting to destroy this worthless Roomba for a while now. Take that you non-suctioning piece of crap. *beats with broom handle* HA HA, you can't feel that can you? Nope, because you're just a stupid little robot! *continues the beating, pieces start to break off* Oh my God I think I heard a whimper. *sobs uncontrollably clutching broken robot pieces to bosom*
The old video of the original BigDog after the jump.
Continue Reading " Robotic BigDog Is Amazingly Lifelike, Scary, Headless, Awesome, Leggy, Strong "
Mar 17 2008 More Rejected Star Wars Promotional Goods
Remember the rejected Star Wars/Pepsi promotional products from a couple months ago? Well it turns out there was a whole bunch more! And here they are. Woo-wee! Who wouldn't want a Jabba bean bag couch, Bantha slippers, cockpit sun-shield, or Star Wars-universe mounted animal heads? Not me! I want several of these pretty badly. And now I would like to offer anyone who can make out with a chick (one without a mustache) on a Jabba beanbag chair $10,000 for the picture proving it.* We'll call it the Fat Chance: Not Even A Long Time Ago In A Galaxy Far, Far Away Contest. You know, because it won't happen. And if it does, well, the chick has really low standards. Or is a freak. Either way, give her my number when you're done Hutting it.
*$10,000 not included.
MUST SEE GALLERY OF ALL THE OTHER PRODUCTS AFTER THE JUMP.
Continue Reading " More Rejected Star Wars Promotional Goods "
Mar 17 2008 Net Gun Is Probably Safer Than A Taser
The Net-2000 Shooting Net Rod uses compressed air to launch a 52 square foot net at perps (or friends, tigers, etc.). The net can travel approximately 50 feet, so you can be a safe distance away (read: out of stabbing range) and still use the device. They sell for $419, but the net can be reinserted into the device and fired repeatedly, so it's got lots of replay value. Now being the intrepid reporter that I am I decided to track down Spiderman and see what he thought about the new net-slinging device. The interview follows.
Geekologie: So, Spidey. Do you mind if I call you Spidey? (Spiderman nods) Good. Have you seen this new net-gun they've got out?
Spiderman: No.
Geekologie: Well check it out. (plays Youtube video) Do you think this will affect your crime-fighting business at all?
Spiderman: Shit.
Geekologie: Is that a yes?
Spiderman: Shit.
Geekologie: Thank you for your time.
A close-up picture and a video of the gun in action after the jump.
Mar 17 2008 Astronauts Like iPods, Take Them Into Space
This is close-up picture of the Space Shuttle Endeavor orbiting earth. And what is that in the window? An iPod! Astronauts listen to iPods in space (or at least throw them on the dash of the shuttle to look cool)! You know, I'm really glad this picture came out because it's just what I needed to prove my latest scientific theory: even astronauts download music illegally. record players don't work in space. NASA is too cheap to spring for Sirius. the moon landing was a hoax. the Discman is dead.
A zoom-out shot of the shuttle after the jump.
Continue Reading " Astronauts Like iPods, Take Them Into Space "
Mar 17 2008 Yikes!: What A Human Mario Would Look Like
A designer on the website Pixeloo made a rendering of what Mario might look like as a human. It was "created with Photoshop CS2 and a bunch of random faces pasted over a 3d render of Mario from Nintendo." Wow, scary. Trust me, I know what you're thinking -- and I can't believe I spent so many hours of my childhood playing with that pederast either.
The real face of the Mario [notcot]
Thanks to phuzzygish, who is both phuzzy and gishy, for the tip
Mar 17 2008 Bible Fighting Game Is Wrong, Sinful, Fun
Bible Fight is religious-themed Flash game made by This Is Pop for Adult Swim. You get to choose a Biblical fighter (Noah, Moses, Jesus, Mary, Eve, and Satan) and stage (Garden of Eden, Noah's Ark, the Parted Seas, the Manger, Hell, Golgotha, and Heaven) and duke it out Street Fighter style. Each player has special moves (that picture is of Noah releasing his Stampede attack) and I felt pretty wrong playing it. It was kind of fun seeing everyone's specials though. Oh, hold on, phone. "Jesus? I know I shouldn't have played as Satan. I know, I'm sorry. Won't happen again. You and the Apostles are celebrating St. Patty's down at the bar? Count me in. By the way, have you given any more thought to what I said about maybe adding me as the 13th? You know, I just kind of feel like the 13th wheel whenever we all go out is all. Well that's cool, you keep thinking it over. Say, you gonna turn water into green Jello shooters like you did last year?"
Bible Fight
via
Bible Fight: You'll Probably Go To Hell For Playing This [albotas]
Mar 17 2008 Radio's Volume/Station Controlled By Rocks
The Natural Radio is controlled by rocks and operates using a scale. The more rocks you put on the volume scale the louder it gets. Same goes for frequency. Now I'm not very coordinated, so I couldn't imagine getting more than two or three stones balanced. What if I want to listen to 105.7? That seems like a lot of rocks. Maybe sand would work though. I'm much better with sand. You should have seen the wicked castle I built on the beach during my last vacation, it was awesome. Well, until that dick Poseidon destroyed it with a big wave. He still hasn’t forgiven me for that lusty night I spent with his sea-goddess Amphitrite. That's right folks, Aquaman is my son.
Several more pictures of the device after the dive.
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Mar 17 2008 Spy Hunter Themed Pontiac Car Commercial
In an attempt to go after the "grew up in the 80's and played the hell out of Spy Hunter" demographic, Pontiac's new G8 commercial is based on the video game. I always thought the car was supposed to be a Stingray, but I did some deep digging (~4 seconds on Wikipedia) and found out the fictitious G-6155 Interceptor was actually modeled after a 1983 Z28. So, yeah, you learn something new every day. Like yesterday (Sunday) I learned that the lady who runs the ice-cream van around here parks it in the empty middle school lot and scarfs a lot of the product. I saw her pound at least two Drumsticks, a Flinstones Push-Up, and a Rocket Pop. She better have paid for them too. Because if I find out the price of orange creamsicles went up another dime I'll just die. Now where was I? Oh right, Spy Hunter. Loved the boat part. That was my favorite.
UPDATE: Higher quality video added after the jump.
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Mar 17 2008 Intelli Panel: Something Someone Might Buy
The Intelli Panel turns off all your computer peripherals (printers, monitors, Lava Lamps, etc.) whenever you power down your computer. On average the device saves 35 watts/hour and 176 kg of CO2/year depending on the amount of stuff you've got plugged in. It costs about $56 and may not come in a North American model. Still, if you're too lazy to flip the switch on a power strip then this may be the product you need to feel a little greener. Or you could, oh I don't know, slather yourself in green interior paint and get drunk. I did it and I'm feeling mighty green. And leady. That paint was pretty old. Oh, and whether you celebrated on Saturday or you’re getting down today -- HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY EVERYONE!
Intelli Panel - Powers All Computer Peripherals OFF/ON Automatically [likecool]
Thanks to Ben, who the ladies should kiss even if he isn't Irish, for the tip
