Mar 7 2008 HERCULES Laser Sounds Powerful, I Guess
The HERCULES laser produces a beam that lasts 30 million billionths of a second and is believed to be the most intense light in the universe.
If you could hold a giant magnifying glass in space and focus all the sunlight shining toward Earth onto one grain of sand, that concentrated ray would approach the intensity of a new laser beam made in a University of Michigan laboratory. The record-setting beam measures 20 billion trillion watts per square centimeter. It contains 300 terawatts of power. That’s 300 times the capacity of the entire U.S. electricity grid. The laser beam's power is concentrated to a 1.3-micron speck about 100th the diameter of a human hair. A human hair is about 100 microns wide.
It is hoped the beam can be used to develop better forms of radiation treatment for cancer and explore the possibility of spontaneous matter generation (holy hellfire!). Now my buddy (who will remain anonymous but whose name is York) came up with an even better use for such a laser. Are you ready for it? Here it comes -- A 24 HOUR LASER LIGHT SHOW ON THE MOON! Wrap your brain around that one for a minute. This might very well be the turning point in world relations. Think about it -- all nations coming together to get high as shit and watch lasers on the freaking moon! Can you smell that? It’s world peace. Or maybe it’s the moon exploding. Either way it’s going to be a hell of a show.
HERCULES Laser is Most Intense Laser in the Universe, Almost as Powerful as the Death Star [gizmodo]
Mar 7 2008 London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries
I'm not a big fan of text-messaging while walking, but that's because I have the coordination of a newborn. Apparently a lot of people do it. And apparently a lot of people get hurt doing it (allegedly 1 in 10 London texters) . So now the city is starting to pad its lamp posts to prevent people from running into them while they're busy texting. I personally think this is a horrible idea. It makes the lampposts look stupid and prevents injuries to people who probably deserve it (and should learn a valuable lesson). You have to look where you're walking! Next they're going to start padding cars for people who walk and text-message. I say screw the padding, add sharp spikes to the poles. If you can't manage to look where you're walking then you deserve to lose all that blood.
A painful video after the jump if you forgot what it looks like when someone runs into a pole.
Continue Reading " London Pads Lamp Posts To Help Prevent 'Texting While Walking' Related Injuries "
Mar 7 2008 Nintendo Shoe Allegedly Works, I Want Badly
This is a Nike with a Nintendo Entertainment System built it. Allegedly it works. And allegedly I want it really, really badly. I assume the system's output is on the opposite side, where it hooks up to your other shoe, which has a little LCD built in. Freaking sweet! Just imagine what they could fit into a shoe if they can put a Nintendo in there! Like, oh I don't know, a foot.
An NES crammed into a sneaker [dvice]
Mar 7 2008 Company Specializes In LEGO Weaponry
Brickarms is a company that specialized in custom LEGO weapons and minifigs. This picture is of all their regular weapons, sold as the 'Ultra Arsenal' Weapons Pack for $18. It includes the following:
* M1911 .45 Pistol * M23 Pistol * M23 SOCOM Pistol * PPK Spy Pistol * PPK Tactical Spy Pistol * M1A1 SMG * M4 Carbine * AK Assault Rifle * RPG Rocket Grenade * M67 Frag Grenades * M41A Pulse Rifle * Micro Uzi SMG * C96 Mauser 'Broomhandle' * SW500 Magnum Pistol * MP5 SMG * PSG1 Sniper Rifle * M47 Shotgun * M47 Tactical Shotgun * G36 Assault Rifle * MP40 SMG * M24 Steilhandgranate
If you don't need all of those then you can buy the guns individually for $1 apiece. There are also some other custom weapons and minifigs available. Be sure to check them out if you dig military themed LEGO. Unfortunately, according to the website:
Disclaimer: All BrickArms tiny toy weapons are made of solid ABS plastic, designed to be used with Lego toys. They cannot shoot bullets and cannot be made to fire bullets in any way. Again, they are a TOY! T-O-Y Toyee!
Shit, I need to learn to read before buying stuff online. Oh well, I stole the money from my wife anyway. And by I stole the money from my wife I mean I sold one of her kidneys on the black market.
Several more pictures of Brickarm minifigs after the jump.
Mar 7 2008 World's Largest Air Vortex Cannon Blows Out Birthday Candles From 180 Feet
Erbert and Gerbert, the delicious sandwich making company, decided to celebrate their 20th birthday in the most traditional way possible -- by building the world's largest air vortex cannon to blow out birthday candles from 180 feet. They even use a smoke machine in conjunction with the cannon so you can see the awesome rings as they travel. Certainly seems way cooler than the way I spent my last birthday. I thought everyone had forgotten about it, and so I went out the bars and got tyrannosaurus wrecked by myself. But when I came home all my friends and family where there! Awesome right? Wrong. It was an intervention.
Worthwhile video of the cannon in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " World's Largest Air Vortex Cannon Blows Out Birthday Candles From 180 Feet "
Mar 7 2008 Trap Lightning In A Block And Make People Think You're Magical, Possibly Score A Girl
Lichtenberg figures look like trapped lightning and are actually "branching electric discharges that sometimes appear on the surface or the interior of insulating materials." Popular Science has a DIY page if you're interested in creating your own, or you can just buy them here and say you did it yourself. I'm just going to buy one, because me and electricity don't mix. And while it's debatable, you may be able to use one to convince the ladies you're a sorcerer or magician. Which, I've heard, works better than telling women you're a vampire/werewolf hybrid in order to get them in the sack. If they don't fall for it though just nonchalantly jam a butter knife into an electric socket. Sure it may kill you, but honestly you weren't going to get laid anyways.
Another picture of how to do it yourself, along with a MUST SEE video after the jump.
Mar 7 2008 Guy Makes Music Using Only Sounds From Microsoft Windows 98 & XP, It's Pretty Neat
This is a video of some music a guy made using only sound effects from Windows. The video is of the music playing in ModPlug Tracker, the program he used to put it all together. The music only lasts for 1:31, then he starts going through all the different sounds he used. I really like the first part of the song, because it sounds like a carnival. And everyone loves carnivals, well, except for the freak show and all the freaking clowns. Once I peaked behind a tent I shouldn't have and saw a bearded woman making out with the dog-faced boy. It was really disturbing. Then I went to play the game where you try to pop the balloons with darts, but I used them to stab my eyes out instead.
Thanks to Derek, who regularly makes beautiful music with beautiful ladies, for the tip
Mar 7 2008 3-Way Chess Is Chess Made For 3 People
3-way chess is a chessboard on which three people can play. The same rules apply except for some slight variation on moves made through the center of the board. Apparently this particular game was bought in the Czech Republic. And you know what else you can buy in the Czech Republic don't you? Absinthe. Yeah, I tried making my own once but drinking it made me go blind in one eye for a couple days. Just like the time I pleasured myself for fourteen hours straight.
Hit the link for another picture, along with a link to an explanation of the game.
Mar 6 2008 Scary: Brain Scanner Knows What You See
Soon computers will be able to know what you're looking at simply by reading your mind.
Scientists used a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine -- a real-time brain scanner -- to record the mental activity of a person looking at thousands of random pictures: people, animals, landscapes, objects, the stuff of everyday visual life. With those recordings the researchers built a computational model for predicting the mental patterns elicited by looking at any other photograph.
Wow, this is getting scary. Except for safety devices and video games, I'm afraid of the uses for this technology. I've been able to read minds for awhile now, and I've got to tell you, you don't always want to. Like right now the cat lying beside me is thinking about eating a bird. Which isn't so bad. But my roommate, who's playing Guitar Hero, is thinking about trying to mash the buttons with his pecker. Which is so bad, because it's my controller.
NOTE: I have no idea what the hell those pictures prove. I just posted them because that's what the other website had up. I think they might be Grateful Dead t-shirt designs.
Brain Scanner Can Tell What You're Looking At [wired]
Thanks to Billy Avenue, who is way cooler than a street, for the tip
Mar 6 2008 One String Willie Plays Guitar With One String
One String Willie is a recovering smack addict who used to turn tricks in a parked van to pay for his next fix. Not really, he's just some guy that likes playing a guitar with one string. I think his song is pretty impressive. You may not. But think about this -- if he's that good with just one string, imagine what he could do with, uh, half of one string. Not as much as a whole one? Really? Damn I hate fractions.
One String Willie [core77]
Mar 6 2008 Conceptual Parisian Building Is Super Green
The Anti-Smog Innovation Center is a conceptual building that was designed to reside on the Canal de L'Ourcq in Paris. It "would sport 2,700 solar panels as well as a titanium dioxide coating that would react with UV rays to break down smog." In addition, "a 148-foot-tall Wind Tower would convert the canal's breezes into energy." Well neato. How about you go ahead and build it Paris? The place could use a little cleaning up. Because my girlfriend and I visited once and our first impression of the city, after getting out of the airport, was of a mother letting her 4-year-old daughter shit on the sidewalk. If you think I'm joking, I'm not. It was so romantic.
A solar powered, wind using, smog killing fantasy building in Paris [dvice]
Mar 6 2008 Bee's Project Art Exhibit Detects Diseases
MOMA Online has an exhibit entitled Design and the Elastic Mind which is a bunch of different projects combining art and science. The Bee's Project is one of these. Basically it consists of a number of glass vessels with bees inside. Taking advantage of a bee's highly sophisticated sense of smell, they are trained to detect different diseases, from cancer to pregnancy (which, in my wife's case, IS a disease). If the bees sense a certain odor when a user blows into the device they will fly into a corresponding chamber, indicating the presence of whatever disease they've been trained to detect. Or if you have shit-breath then the bees all congregate in the bottom. You know, because you killed them all.
A couple more pictures and a link to the exhibit after the jump.
Continue Reading " Bee's Project Art Exhibit Detects Diseases "
Mar 6 2008 Princess Peach Collage Is Good, Confusing
We've featured Chris Lange's impressive Nintendo Power collages in the past, and here comes another of the Princess Peach variety. According to Chris, "This collage of Princess Peach resides in the office of an executive at Nintendo of America. I couldn't be more proud of this one." Well nice Chris, I bet someone paid a pretty penny for that. May I ask how much? No? Okay. Well may I ask why she's holding a turd?
Princess Peach Collage by Chris Lange [albotas]
Mar 6 2008 Apocalyptic Christian Video Game Is Wow
I've never heard of the Left Behind book series by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, but that's because the only reading I do is on the back of cereal boxes. This game, LEFT BEHIND: Tribulation Forces is based on said books. You "combat the Antichrist’s forces on two battle fronts - physical & spiritual warfare: Use the power of prayer and worship to resist spiritual influences and defend against their physical attacks." Apparently you run around trying to convert non-believers or mowing them down with machine guns. Pretty awesome premise if you ask me. Reminds me of the time I had to pistol whip a Burger King employee for not accepting Monopoly money. I told him the Lord was totally cool with it and even quoted some scripture, "And Jesus said to his disciples: the Geekologie writer shall payeth for thine Spicy CHICK'N CRISP Sandwich with whatever payment he seeth fit." The little jerk didn't believe me, and that's when God told me to get physical.
Note: You only need to watch the first minute of the video to get the premise, and there's a great quote at 0:27.
Left Behind [gametrailers]
Thanks to Nathaniel, who gets straight A's in being cool, for the tip
Mar 6 2008 Keyboard Offers Storage Underneath, My Liver Rejoices At A Place To Stash Airplane Bottles
Stashing airplane bottles at work is getting to be a hassle, and quite frankly the whole "up the rear" method is getting old (and probably wearing my O-ring out). Well now all my problems have been solved thanks to the Keyboard Organizer. It's a keyboard with a storage compartment underneath and retails for $50.
Key Benefits
*Low Cost
*Organizes the desk
*Makes use of space
*Quality touch and feel
*Blister Packed
*1 year return to base (BNI) warranty
Okay, when "Blister Packed" (aka clam shelled) is a key benefit of your product it's a sign you need to go ahead and fire the entire marketing department. Who in the hell likes blister packs? Are these people freaking crazy? The damn thing probably wouldn't fit any airplane bottles anyway. Hold on, phone.
Sorry about that, it was my girlfriend. She was all excited about a storage keyboard she just bought because it comes blister packed. I'm going to cut her brake lines when she comes home for lunch.
PS2 Keyboard And Desktop Organizer [nerdapproved]
Mar 6 2008 Zelda Girl Seeking Link On Craigslist, I'm In
Some girl who says she looks like Princess Zelda is looking for her soulmate Link on Craigslist.
Hi, I know thats strange one. I want a guy who looks like link. from the game. I thought to myself that I might as well be honest. I look like zelda, so why not ask for it? who knows.. I know theres a guy like that. So if you think you look like link, the blonde skater cut, and light eyes look email me. Im a simple chick who loves zelda. I know thats a corney one to ask but heck we might as well be honest as to what we like? am I right? I want a guy like that and a guy who is romantic and believes in chilvary, love, old school ways, and doesnt have a problem with european culture. Thanks a bunch!!! If I like you, and you have a pic, ill email you back. PS I WILL NOT RESPOND to guys without FACE SHOTS. period. Thankyou for understanding. Im not a body chick. more a face and Please only guys 30 and below. And please do not email me rude comments... this world has too many jerks and I delete them and report to the authorities. Its extreme I know But please have respect.
Wow, I'm in love. Just look at those ears. You think they're real? I hope so. My only question is what Link she's looking for. Because if she's looking for the original Legend of Zelda Link then I'm so in. I'm a dead ringer for a little pixelated turd in a green tunic. But if she's looking for more of an Ocarina of Time Link then I'm screwed. And if she's looking for wolf Link from Twilight Princess then she's really f***ed in the head.
A closeup of her picture in stunning crap quality, after the jump.
Continue Reading " Zelda Girl Seeking Link On Craigslist, I'm In "
Mar 5 2008 $500,000 Watch Isn't Worth It, God I'm Poor
The Zenith Defy Xtreme Tourbillon ZERO-G El Primero watch has a long name, costs $500,000, and I don't get it.
In a veritable technical revolution, ZENITH Manufacture has devised the Zero-G system, in other words zero gravity! The gyroscope cage Tourbillon comprises an escapement mounted on cardan joints rather like marine chronometers. The instrument, which is sensitive to changes of position, is kept in a constant horizontal position, thereby ensuring optimal amplitude for the spiral balance-wheel. Coordination is provided by an invention patented by ZENITH: a second gear train is the reference point for the swinging of the escapement axles and a differential gear with inverter compensates all the relative movements of the framework. The Zero-G Tourbillon, whose cage alone comprises 166 of the 294 parts that make up the device, 10 conical geared wheels with spiral teeth and 6 ball-bearings, was developed from the El Primero automatic caliber that beats at the record speed of 36,000 vibrations an hour.
Did that make any sense? I didn't actually bother reading past the part the word "veritable", but that's because I knew I wouldn't understand what they were talking about. So someone give it to me straight -- does this watch allow you to travel back in time or not? Because if the answer is not then it's a freaking ripoff. Besides, what sort of a-hole with $500,000 to spend on a watch needs to know what time it is anyway?
Tourbillon Wrist Watch [e-potpourri]
Thanks to Patricio, who actually wears a million dollar watch, for the tip
Mar 5 2008 Wooden Head Knife-Block Is Pretty Disturbing
Here at Geekologie we've seen weird and disturbing knife-blocks in the past. Well to top them all is this prototype by Maarteen Baas. As you can see it's a man's head -- but with a bunch of damn knives sticking out of it. When my wife sees this she'll probably think it's funny and will want one painted to look like me. And that, my friends, is why I'm packing my bags and getting the f*** out of here. That crazyass is going to kill me.
Head Knife-Block [notcot]
Mar 5 2008 Brass Knuckles Chair Won't Beat Your Ass
Not too long ago we posted the brass knuckle inspired coffee mug, and now we're posting the perfect seat to complement said drink receptacle. The Brass Knuckle Chair looks tough on the outside, but is actually quite comfortable on the inside. Plus it has wheels. Available for an undisclosed amount, the chair features vicious styling and really lets your coworkers know you're a badass mofo. Well, as long as you don't have the rest of your cubicle decorated with unicorn posters and those long-haired troll dolls. Then you'd be sending mixed signals. Like that chick at the laundromat last night. From the looks she was giving me I thought it was pretty obvious she wanted me to rummage through her dryer and sniff the undergarments. Wrong! She screamed and called the police.
Brass Knuckle Chair Punches Your Butt With Comfort [gizmodo]
Thanks again to Shawn, who doesn't need brass knuckles to be tough, for the tip
Mar 5 2008 Controller Pillows Guarantee Good Dreams
These 20" x 20" pillows are printed with all your favorite video game controllers and cost $40 apiece. They've even got the new controllers, like the Wiimote. I remember my 3rd grade teacher once told me if you think about something a lot before bed, then you stand a better chance of dreaming about it. So maybe these could aid in dreaming about awesome video games, you never know. What I do know is that sleeping on an open chemistry textbook doesn't mean you'll know all the information when you wake up. Talk about bombing a test. I tried to proposition the teacher for a better grade, but he sent me to the principal's office. I tried to proposition the principal to not suspend me, but he did it anyways. I'm an awful whore.
video game controller pillows: sweet dreams [technabob]
Thanks to Melissa, who I can only hope to dream about at night, for the tip
Mar 5 2008 9-Year Old Tears Up Guitar Hero III On Expert, Puts My Untalented Children To Shame
This is a video of 9-year old Ben tearing up Through the Fire and Flames for Guitar Hero III on expert. His little fingers move so fast. Just imagine how well he'd work on my child-labor powered assembly line. I bet he could really ramp up my production numbers. Don't get a big head though Ben, just because you can rock some Guitar Hero doesn't mean you're better than my kids. No sir. They're talented in other ways. Take my youngest son, Jimmy Jimereeno for instance. He sucks at video games but he can pick his nose. Yeah, and eat it. He's up there with the best of them. And not only that, he's not limited to his own nostrils. Just the other day I saw him jamming his chubby little finger up the dog's nose. Great kid, lots of talent.
Thanks to Tim, who can play Guitar Hero blindfolded and with one arm tied behind his back, for the tip
Mar 5 2008 Quantum Sleeper Bed Protects From Chemical Attacks, Natural Disasters And Kidnappers
The Quantum Sleeper is essentially a saferoom built around a bed. It comes packed with all the following features:
1.25" Polycarbonate Bulletproof Plating/Shielding, Bio-Chemical Filtered Ventilation, Rebreather, Control Panel Mode Selection (i.e., Basic System Ops., Intruder Setting, Energy Status, Lock Down, etc.), Cover & Door Actuators w/ Emergency Release, One way see through head cover (reflective mirror on 2 sides and front), Safety Features (Proximity Sensor, O2 Sensor, Smoke Det., Motion Det. Ect,), Emergency Communication system (Cellular, Short-wave Radio, CB etc.), Audio Amplifier (Amplify sound from outside unit), Air/Water Tight Sealing, External Override Key Pad & Remote Control, Battery Backup Power, Toiletry system
Wow, looks like they've got all the bases covered for overprotective parents and people who are afraid of everything. Too bad I saw that movie Panic Room with Jodie Foster and she was totally not hot. Completely turned me off to panic and safe rooms. However this bed does come with options for a microwave and refrigerator. Make sure to add The Rack and then you might have something worth investing in. Unfortunately models start at over $100,000 -- so chances are you'll just have to die instead.
Thanks to Karolyn, who doesn't need one of these because she's a certified ass-kicking machine, for the tip
Mar 5 2008 Gameboy Survives Bombing, Still Works
What you see is a Gameboy that survived a barracks bombing during the Gulf War and currently resides at the Nintendo World Store in NYC. As is evident by the Tetris screen, it still works! Now that, my friends, is quality. This clearly proves beyond a shadow of a doubt one of my most recent theories -- that Gameboys really do save lives. Okay, so maybe it doesn't prove that at all. But it does prove that Tetris was an awesome freaking game doesn't it? Yes, it most certainly does that.
Video of the unit in action after the jump.
Mar 5 2008 Singing and Moving Clown Urinal Makes Me Want To Just Pee On The Wall Instead
So I wake up this morning and what do I find in my inbox? A link to a singing clown urinal in Osaka, Japan. Basically you walk up to the sucker and he starts singing and moving up and down the wall while you try to pee in his mouth. WTF!? What are we teaching the youth these days? This does not lessen my fear of clowns one bit. It was bad enough before I knew the sick bastards liked drinking urine. He won't be singing for long though. Not after somebody decides to sit there and hit him with a #2.
Crazy Singing Clown Urinal Makes Us Go HAHAHAARRGHHSTOPDOINGTHAT! [gizmodo]
Thanks to Shawn and Meredith, who both hates clowns as much as Anticlown Media does, for the tips
Mar 4 2008 Dungeons And Dragons Co-Creator Dies
Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons, has passed away. He and Dave Arneson developed the game in 1974. I will remember him best for keeping me safe from the evils of sex during my teenage years. He is survived by his wife and six children. And while officials assert his death was the result of long-declining health conditions, I suspect a rogue dwarf was involved. Seriously though, he will be missed.
RIP Gary Gygax (1938-2008)
Gary Gygax, Dungeons & Dragons creator, dies [cnn]
Thanks to Alan, who is thankfully still alive, for the tip
Mar 4 2008 Minivan Is Mega Fun, Jet Engine Powered
This Dodge Caravan isn’t your standard stock vehicle. No sir -- this bad boy is packing a jet engine. It does an 1/8 mile in 7.65 seconds and is way cooler than the van my mom used to drive me to school in. It even has a mechanism that opens the window and positions the jet engine out the back when you're ready for takeoff (see second video). The rest of the time you can drive around like it doesn't have a freaking jet engine in the back. Although why you'd ever do that is a mystery to me. As my girlfriend likes to say when she's standing on top of a stool at the bar and waving her penis around like a helicopter -- "If you've got it, flaunt it."
Three videos of the van in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Minivan Is Mega Fun, Jet Engine Powered "
Mar 4 2008 UV Light Kills Germs, Chance Of Being Normal
This handheld UV scanner costs $30 and runs on 4 AAA batteries. You wave it over an object you're going to touch and it kills 99.9% of germs. But I've got news for you -- it's that 0.01% of germs that'll kill you. No, seriously -- those are the ones that are so tough nothing can faze them. It's actually funny that I found this online because an ex-neighbor of mine had one of these and swore by it. He wouldn't touch anything without blasting it with UV first. So you know what I did? I coughed all over the back of the handle when he was out of the room. And then you know what he did? He died. Yeah, apparently he had some sort of disease that made regular germs fatal. Oops. I feel really bad too because the couple that bought his house are a-holes who I can't stand and they don't even keep the yard looking nice.
Handheld Disinfecting UV Scanner [ohgizmo]
Mar 4 2008 R2-D2 Case Mod Looks Pretty Good, I'd Hit It
This is a computer case cleverly disguised as everyone's favorite trashcan shaped robot friend R2-D2. As you may very well imagine, inside are all the typical components of a computer. But the outside... The outside looks like R2! Whee! "Hey R2, how you doing little buddy?" *bangs firmly on R2's head with knuckles* "R2 -- Your hard drive just fell out! Do you want me to perform emergency robotic surgery and reattach the device? What do you mean I hit you too hard? You know I love you. OOOOWWW! Quit shocking me you little asshole." *Kicks the shit out of R2 until he's mangled and badly dented*
And that, my friends, is how not to become a Jedi.
Several more pictures from different angles after the jump.
Continue Reading " R2-D2 Case Mod Looks Pretty Good, I'd Hit It "
Mar 4 2008 Machine Gun Cuts Down Tree, Sets It On Fire
From time to time I look up from drowning my sorrows in beer and liquor at the bar to see what's on the television. And this is one thing I happened to see: An episode of Mythbusters where they tested the myth of being able to cut down a tree using a gun. They started with little machine guns (which all failed), and finally moved on to this behemoth -- the Dillon M134D Gatlin Gun. At 3,000 rounds per minute the gun fells the tree in 45 seconds -- AND sets it on fire. AWESOME! Plus Kari was the one shooting it, and I have a crush on her. So it was extra hot for me, like the leftover curry I had for breakfast. Which, just like Kari, made my heart burn.
Worthwhile video of the gun in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " Machine Gun Cuts Down Tree, Sets It On Fire "
Mar 4 2008 Handcuff Watch Looks Alright, Fetishy
Luis Berumen's ZeroPointZero concept watch is made from a pair of handcuffs. I like it. Not sure if I could rock it to work, but it'd certainly come in handy sometimes. After all, there's nothing worse than losing track of time when you're cuffed to the bed and your significant other is beating you with a riding crop. Now I'm not totally sure how the time is displayed, but I think the one in the picture may be showing 10:10. Of course I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. Like the time I said "I do" in front of that priest. Huge mistake.
Luis Berumen's ZeroPointZero Watch Concept - The Handcuff Inspired Fetishistic Timepiece [tfts]
Thanks to Andrew, who is cool in my book, for the tip
Mar 4 2008 Damnit!: Fake Ferrari Car Ring Busted In Italy
Italian police recently accused 15 people of building and selling fake Ferraris and confiscated 21 cars (14 of which were already sold). Apparently the cars were going for way cheap -- around 20,000 euros (a paltry $30,400).
Car body workers who police called "very able" cobbled together mostly fake parts and a few original components. They used body parts from other makes of automobiles, such as chassis, roofs, hoods, trunks and doors.
"Very able" indeed. How in the hell do you take pieces off of other cars and make them look like a Ferraris? I reckon we're talking kit cars here. Like putting a Ferrari looking body on a 1985 Pontiac Fiero. That being said, I'm pissed those damn police confiscated my car. I had already paid for that thing. Oh well, I just hope the Lame-oborghini ring doesn't get busted or I'll really be screwed.
Pssst! Want to buy a fake Ferrari? [yahoonews]
Thanks to Delphine, who owns several of the real deal, for the tip
Mar 4 2008 Little Boy Calls Himself 'Magneto Man', Breaks Computers, Is Proud, Thinks He's Famous
Joe Falciatano III (of the Falciatano dynasty) is 12-years old and has broken 12 computers in his school's computer lab. They thought it had something to do with magnetism, but it's now believed to be a static issue related to his over-insulated shoes. Personally, I think it's because his mom banged Magneto while the X-Men were on vacation. That's just my theory though (which is correct). He even calls himself "Magneto Man", despite being 12-years old and unable to produce facial hair. Finally some brainiac, whose intelligence is undoubtedly up there with the likes of Einstein, suggested he wear an anti-static wrist strap. Lo and behold the problems stopped! Now, call me crazy, but why did it take 12 broken computers to finally get the kid to wear a freaking wrist strap? Wow, computer lab teacher. Wow. If a kid broke one computer in my lab they'd be wearing a lot more than a wrist strap. Namely a size 12 Puma up their ass. I love kids.
Video report after the jump.
Mar 3 2008 Phun Physics Combines Fun And Physics
Phun is a 2D physics environment where you can build/destroy and otherwise have a jolly good time with all sorts of objects (including your own). It was programmed by Emil Ernerfeldt (awesome name) of Umeå University for his CS thesis. It really is awesome and the perfect way to piss away several days at work. There's a video demonstration after the jump and you can go here to download the software for free as long as you don't use it commercially. Anybody interested in purchasing a copy of this software should contact me directly.
Video and another link to the free download after the jump.
Mar 3 2008 Man Gives Wife Steampunk Mac For Wedding
Dave Veloz built this sweet little steampunk Mac Mini for his wife-to-be and give it to her for their wedding. Doesn't it look good? It's so heartwarming to know there are still people in the world who care about their significant other enough to do/make things for them. It's just so damn romantic. Almost as romantic as the gift I gave my wife on the day of our wedding. Yep, beat an unidentified VD from the stripper at the bachelor party, Mr. Steampunk Mac Mini. Oooh, burned! Tell your wife to call me when she's looking for a man who really knows how to treat his lady.
A bunch more of the beautiful computer after the jump.
Continue Reading " Man Gives Wife Steampunk Mac For Wedding "
Mar 3 2008 Rotating Home Theater Is Riciculous, I Want
This home theater system has a 16-foot motorized circle in the middle on which the front row of chairs is attached. The idea behind the rotation is that when you're not watching something on the screen, the room should still be able to be used for chatting or drinking champagne and shooting foxes or whatever the hell it is rich people do. I call shenanigans though. If you check out the other picture after the jump, if the front row is rotated around, all you're facing is two other chairs and the freaking door. What's the purpose of that? Let's be honest -- anybody with the money for a rotating home theater doesn't need for it to double as some other room. You can just have more rooms built. This person just wanted a damn rotating platform in their house and couldn't come up with a better excuse.
One more picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Rotating Home Theater Is Riciculous, I Want "
Mar 3 2008 Man Mods Car Into Wicked X-Wing Fighter
Some guy in California modded his Honda del Sol into Luke's X-Wing Fighter from Star Wars: A New Hope. As you can see it's got R2 in the trunk, some nice graphics work (burns, Rebel insignia), and laser blasters on the car doors. I swear if you squint your eyes, shake your head and punch yourself in the groin at the same time it really does look like a '94 Honda del Sol with a trashcan coming out of the trunk. In all honestly though, I really do like it and think the guy did a great job. It certainly turned out better than my Ford Taurus X-Wing mod. Yeah, I was going for the look of the fighter when it was in the Dagobah Swamp, so I drove it into a lake. I haven't seen it in awhile, but a catfish I met at the bar told me it looks great down there.
Honda del Sol mod [notcot]
Mar 3 2008 I'm Sold: Smencils Are Scented Pencils
Remember the Mr. Sketch (great name) Scented Markers that first introduced you to the wonderful world of huffing? I sure do. Damn that grape was out of this world. Well, if you loved them as much as I did, you know about the risk of accidentally marking on your nose and getting pegged as a huffer. Enter Smencils -- the pencil version of scented markers. They cost $10 for a pack of ten different scents, and are totally worth it. Now that doesn't mean I'm going to buy some, but it does mean I'll steal some and rubber cement them up my nose.
Thanks to Kelly, who always smells great, for the tip
Mar 3 2008 Wrong, Wrong, Wrong: Fetish Birdo Costume
Remember Super Mario Bros. 2? Remember the Birdos, those egg spitting bosses? Yeah, I remember them too. But not like this. This is not definitely not the way I remember the Birdos of my childhood. Now I've seen a lot of sick things in my day, and I've even done a few, but NEVER EVER HAVE I EVER asked anyone to dress up like a Super Mario Bros. boss in order to get my rocks off I only asked my girlfriend to do the Bowser thing once, and I swear I felt bad afterwards.
Fettish Birdo Is The Weirdest Thing I've Seen All Day [albotas]
Mar 3 2008 Apartment Building With Hydroponic Gardens
There's a new apartment complex going up in Wuhan, China. Big deal you say? Well what if I told you that each apartment includes a 100-square-foot trellised hydroponic garden? Now I know what you're thinking -- "Yes, weed!" And you are correct. Indeed, all the weed you need. No but seriously, you're supposed to grow vegetables and stuff like that. Although that girl in the picture does look kind of high. And kind of like a ghost. So you can count me out. No number of hydroponic gardens is enough to get into a haunted apartment complex. Am I right? High five!
An apartment building with private hydroponic gardens [dvice]
Mar 3 2008 Curved iMac Concept Is Curved, Conceptual
The iMac iView is a conceptual product design by Nuno Teixeira. As you can see it's a curved iMac. It looks incredibly similar to a bad idea. But it does have one saving grace - a second screen on the back (picture after the jump). That way your office wall (long left out of computing activities) can feel included in the experience. Or if your computer doesn't back up to a wall, then it provides a great way for your coworkers to know just what porn/non-work related sites you visit all day long. Awesome, I know. But seriously, I think many of you just don't understand the usefulness of this monitor for someone like me -- someone with EYES IN THE BACK OF THEIR HEAD. What do you mean that wouldn't help me see the monitor? Sure it would. The monitor has another screen on the back and my head has eyes on the back. Thusly, according to my most recent scientific calculations, I'm a stupid asshat.
Picture of the back after the jump.
Continue Reading " Curved iMac Concept Is Curved, Conceptual "
