Feb 26 2008Robotic Breast Massager Is Unsurprisingly Questionable As Hell
Man I have no idea where to even begin with this one, but I'll try. Mr. Wang Wei, owner of Beijing BUBBY (I assume that's Chinese for booby) Robot Technologies, has created a robotic breast massager. Mr. Wei did this when he realized he'll probably never get to touch one himself. I've posted his very convincing business proposal after the jump, which is a must read and explains who can benefit from such a device. As a potential investor I had the unfortunate opportunity to give the device a go, and I've got to say: it felt the exact same as the other time I was groped by a robot with flower-shaped hands. And that one was a window washer.
Mr. Wei's very convincing business proposal after the jump.
Per the business plan:
As a result of market research, we specified our targeting consumer groups which are listed below:
1.Girls who are reaching or having reached puberty, hope to improve the growth of breast.
2.Women who received surgery in the breast, desire to have a faster and better recovery.
3.Mothers, who are nursing babies, want to release the pain and to accelerate the secretion of breast milk.
4.Female who is having the period, want to release the swelling pain of breasts.
5.Women who want to lower the incidence of mastopathies.
6.Women, who are under pressure, want to relax themselves.
7.Women who want to improve the quality of their sex activities.
8.Women who want to have pretty breasts.
The Breast Massage Robot stimulates massager's hand movements to perform comfortable massage. It is capable of automatically adjusting itself to fit various breast shapes. It also features good portability and a variety of massage programs.
We will sincerely corporate with investors to make the BMR the hottest high-tech product worldwide.
Breast Massage Robot is the Future of Breast Massages [gizmodo]
Thanks to James, who you ladies should call if you're looking for a real breast massage, for the tip
Reader Comments
1. Smartass - February 26, 2008 3:44 PM
First of all my disappointment in the lack of real breasts in the video knows no bounds.
Second wouldn't mounting robotic arms in your sides cause more problems massaging you breasts would fix?
2. imd14u2b - February 26, 2008 3:57 PM
my girlfriend complains about the lack of attention i give to her breasts and the lack of sex we have because all i want to do is cuddle and hold her and talk and watch oprah...wtf??? Only in China kids..Only in China..
3. DOC - February 26, 2008 4:27 PM
First dildos
Then vibrators
Now a boobie player wither thinger
Soon there will be no need for us!
4. The Thompson - February 26, 2008 4:46 PM
My question is if they make a model for man boobs...
All it needs now is an AM/FM radio and an automatic beer dispenser and every lonesome, man can toting sports fan will have that missing void in their life.
5. guate6 - February 26, 2008 4:47 PM
#3: they can make a full sex robot for women, and it'd be able to listen to them too, but I put the "sabor" in "Sabor Latino," which women can't resist...others have this too, and no robot (and even a lot of humans) don't have this...there is no substitute.
After reading the proposal and to whom they are marketing, I must say, it's stupid. Aside from marketing to people who require the listed items, I guess it's also marketed for the armless/handless. Oh well...as #2 said: Only in China...
6. Ok - February 26, 2008 5:04 PM
sabor translates to he f***s dudes
ps hes gay
7. Skeps - February 26, 2008 5:04 PM
"Female who is having the period"
Man I hope our geekologie writer messed with the uses, cause if not
i don't want to buy a product to massage my moobies if they can't afford a translator.
8. woodhorse - February 26, 2008 5:29 PM
"make the BMR the hottest high-tech product worldwide" --
the Conceptual Frame Tablet was a little slow out of the starting gate my friends and the Chinese have won again. First gunpowder and now this.
9. Jazzman - February 26, 2008 5:45 PM
I bet that that thing can't do a one handed bra removal... I've practiced that for years to only become a master in my later years...
One hand removing the bra... the other hand on one breast... month on the other breast... all bases are covered!!!
(Assuming you done popped one titty out the bra)
10. Jazzman - February 26, 2008 5:49 PM
@ 5 & 6
one of yall is stupid fun...
11. guate6 - February 26, 2008 9:58 PM
#6: Impressive translation skills. I always thought "sabor" meant "flavor" or "taste" but apparently the spanish language is incorrect.
12. Dr_Freak - February 27, 2008 4:26 AM
Gah! I was ignoring your first comment cos i could see that you are under the misapprehension that people actually care what you think, about stuff & about them. But i had to pipe up & tell you - Stick to the topic... Call it stupid, lame, gay, whatever... That's fine but leave the other kids alone! Where's the net nanny when you need her?
See... In my head, a "net nanny" is a chick who comes into your room & looks at what you're doing on the net & says "Don't do that, burning kids on forums is nasty... Look at these instead" & pops 'em out for ya... Ah, my imagination...
Which brings me back to the topic at hand, I agree with the first comment. We cannot ascertain whether or not these things are good without a live test subject! Can't wait for the follow up on this one!
Now a headjob machine...
13. Jenny, Bloggess - February 27, 2008 8:33 AM
Thank God someone is on this. I can never find anyone willing to massage my boobs except for pretty much everyone in the universe.
(Except my dad because that would be creepy.)