Man Uses Crappy Looking Robot To Keep Bums From Hanging Out Near His Bar
Rufus Terrill had a dream. A dream of a bar where bums in downtown Atlanta don't hang out and cause problems. Well that dream was quickly fading until he was struck with an idea. An idea of a robot. A robot that looks like a piece of shit and urinates water out of a magic wand. Enter Robo-Cop (aka Bum-Bot), Terrill's brainchild.
The four-foot tall, 300-pound body consists of an old smoker mounted atop an electric scooter. He's mounted a spot light, infrared camera, loud speaker, and water cannon inside the chassis, then wrapped the whole thing in rubber and painted it a menacing black.
Using a remote control and walkie-talkie Terrill notifies vagrants they're trespassing, and if they refuse to leave he douses them. The results have been met with mixed reactions. Some (drunk bar patrons cheering the robot on) think it's awesome. Others, namely the director of the homeless shelter up the block, think it's cruel and unusual. The police agree that if the water cannon is used unprovoked, that it constitutes assault.
Now I don't know how many bums out there are reading this, but if you are, let me give you some schooling: Don't fight the machine. A robot is only as tough as the pederast-looking guy with glasses that's holding the remote control. That is where you will find the source of the robot's power. And the keys to the cash register and liquor closet. Use this knowledge wisely, class is dismissed.