Feb 12 2008I Really, Really Mean It: Formal Apologies

MORE: bad-doing, document, form, guilt, I'm sorry, letter, official, paper, please don't really kill me girlfriend, sadness

formal-apology.jpg

Sometimes saying you're sorry just isn't enough. For those times come these Formal Apology Notices. You just fill in a few blanks, check some checkboxes, and ta-da -- you're forgiven (hopefully). Unfortunately they didn't work for me. In retrospect I probably should have filled them out instead of just giving a handful of blank ones to my girlfriend, but it's the thought that counts right? Well it turns out the thought she had was that I wanted her to apologize for something. So you know what she did? She punched me. A lot. I got a Formal Apology Notice the next day.

It has come to my attention that my action of knocking you the f*** out could be seen as hurtful. I never intended to not kill you. I want you to understand that I was merely trying to finally put you down so I could move out with my lover, though I can see now that it may appear that I was just trying to hurt you. Please accept my un-heartfelt apology. Moving forward, I will attempt to kill you for real next time. That said, I would very much appreciate it if you would just do it yourself already you pathetic loser. Sincerely, your soon to be ex-girlfriend.

She's such a card, she so loves me.

An Official Apology [electroplankton]

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1. Jumpin_J - February 12, 2008 3:59 PM

My problem is I would constantly be checking "my evil twin" as an excuse. But that's only because it's true! Really! In fact it's doing nasty things to my boss with a rusty fork. Honestly, it ain't me!!!

2. Sam Lamp - February 12, 2008 5:01 PM

My brother sent me an "official" thank for my Christmas present certificate. I thought it was very funny!

3. SlowMonkey - February 12, 2008 8:40 PM

I apologize all the time and it has become second nature to me now. I even apologize for things I didn't do. I apologize to the Tweens for the polluted planet, I apologize for the foul names I call the car that wouldn't let me get over even though they can't hear me and I apologize for having had to borrow something when I bring it back. I might be a professional.

4. SlowMonkey - February 12, 2008 8:51 PM

I just printed it out and it comes out really official looking in blue parchment. That makes it even funnier. My favorite is the box that says "do not try to get even".

5. OrangeMonkey - February 12, 2008 10:27 PM

Lol I am so gonna use that note

6. DINGDONG - February 13, 2008 4:47 PM

HERE'S MORE: http://bureauofcommunication.com

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