Feb 5 2008Canon Printer Costs $280,000, Takes Up 33 Feet Of Wall Space, Is Ridiculous, Blocky, Complicated And Poorly Named
The Canon ImagePRESS C7000VP has one of the lamest names for a printer ever. Why not the Canon Big F'er? Or maybe the Canon Baller?
The C7000VP requires 33 feet of wallspace and costs a shade over $280,000. It comes with a trimmer, finisher, inserter, stacker, binder, capacity for 10,000 sheets of paper, and can print 70 pages per minute at 1200 dpi. The internal computer is a dual core 3.0ghz Xeon with 2 gigs of ram and a couple raided 80gb HDs.
Wow. I paid $160 for my printer and it takes up one-cubic-foot of space on a stack of books next to my desk. Obviously mine wasn't made for an office setting though. And apparently neither was the outfit I wore to work today. But I contest -- nowhere in the company's dresscode are assless chaps explicitly prohibited. I think my boss is just jealous he doesn't have junk in his trunk like I do. And by junk I mean remnants of toilet paper.
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Reader Comments
1. guate6 - February 5, 2008 5:57 PM
Pshaw...I made a printer that more than doubles the productivity of this thing and only takes up 32.5' of space, and costs "just a shade over" $279,000. I won't call fake, because I know it's real, but it sure as hell should be called fake.
Shoot, for that kind of money, I'd get myself a very nice Lamborghini or something.
2. guate6 - February 5, 2008 5:57 PM
(proto-)
3. Infi - February 5, 2008 6:39 PM
But does it come with drivers for Linux?
4. Poo - February 5, 2008 6:56 PM
The BFP 9000!
5. egohavoc - February 5, 2008 9:50 PM
This printer is meant for professional print houses for short run print jobs. That's a perfectly acceptable size/price imo.
6. guate6 - February 5, 2008 10:41 PM
#5, yes, you're right...but it's still fun to make fun of it.
7. bdeen - February 6, 2008 12:11 AM
What's are "assless" chaps? All chaps are assless, if they had asses they'd be "pants".
8. Superevil - February 6, 2008 1:30 AM
FIRST!!! Get your facts straight Geekologie, this is a printer. It has nothing to do with canons so why would you call it a Canon Baller? it doesn't even look like a canon. It's obviously a printer of some sort. I swear, Geekologie gets dumber by the day.
9. james - February 6, 2008 3:50 AM
Thank you #7 i was just about to say that.
10. guate6 - February 6, 2008 8:35 AM
#8: you are joking, right?
11. Superevil - February 6, 2008 9:44 AM
Nice work troll
12. boredom - February 6, 2008 10:25 AM
at that size it should include a full body scanner too. Now THAT would be worth the money. Gone would be the days of scanning just my ass.
13. poop - February 6, 2008 3:04 PM
well, i'm going to have to chime in and say "TMI OP!!". omg! way TMI>!!
the only thing we need to know about in that category is if and when you shart when you're standing near one of us. lol. ok?
love ya!
14. She Told Me She Was 17!!! - February 7, 2008 2:33 AM
I say add a hot female technician to man the "glory hole" and I would definitely shell out atleast $350K... the Canon Baller would really earn it's title.
Number 1... 33 ft of f-ing wall space?!
I think I would just get an office near a Kinko's and get an account.
15. Henry - February 7, 2008 2:35 AM
It looks just like the spaceship in Space Balls.
'We brake for nobody'
16. opposite of chameleon - February 7, 2008 9:31 AM
#7
Actually Assed chaps are called overpants. Worn mostly by people why ride motorcycles.
17. Trowzers - February 10, 2008 10:58 PM
Wow! Imagine finding a paper jam in that sucker.