Well I've known about caffeinated soap for a little while now, but since this tip comes from a very trustworthy source, I'll assume there are many of you out there that haven't. Shower Shock is soap with caffeine in it. You rub it all over that sexy naked body of yours, and next thing you know, BOOM, you're wide awake. Simple as that. Each 4 oz bar has approximately 12 200mg caffeine servings. One bar costs $7 but price decreases the more you buy, down to $38 for ten bars. They come with a warning not to eat them, which is ridiculous, because who the hell would eat a bar of soap anyways (you excluded)? However they don't come with a warning about not jamming four bars up your ass, which is what I did. I haven't slept since '06.
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thanks to Raul, who enjoys fast cars and beautiful women regularly, for the tip
The $25 Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And whi... / Continue →
This is the Horizontal Shower from luxury bathroomer Dornbracht. You just lay on the stone pedestal like you're about to be sacrificed for a plentiful harvest, then let the six water jets soak your body, flooding your ass with cleanliness and washing away any rogue buttcrumbs ... / Continue →
If it makes you guys feel any better, I actually use body wash. As a matter of fact, I just reupped at Target last night. I'd tell you what brand I got but I was drunk and it looks like I accidentally picked up a double-pack of Summer's Eve instead. Just kidding, that's what... / Continue →