Dec 20 2007Jet Engine Toaster Heats Bread Quickly
I've never really had a problem with the average of 141 seconds it takes bread to toast. It's only two minutes and change, just long enough to mix a morning cocktail and get the jelly out of the fridge. But if you can't stand the wait, maybe the Speedy Slice toaster is for you. Designed by Oliver Newberry and being produced by Heinz, the thing toasts bread in only 50 seconds. It uses two ducted 10,000 RPM fans to blow hot air over the toast from both sides and features mysterious "nylon-based laser technology", which in layman's terms means the toaster is a laser guided missile jet engine. You ever had a piece of toast after your damn toaster sucked the cat into its engine? It's hairy and tastes like shit.
Note: I just noticed that the unit appears to only heat a single piece of bread at a time. So, while my toaster may take 141 seconds, it heats four pieces at once, whereas this unit would take 200. So, yeah, baked beans on toast, gross.
Heinz Speedy Slice Turbofan Toaster [ohgizmo]
Reader Comments
1. The Moat - December 20, 2007 9:54 AM
Umm, let's forget for a second that this thing is TEN TIMES the size of my current toaster and is only capable of making HALF as much toast...
Is 50 seconds fast for toast? I can't imagine my toaster takes any more than a minute.
Oh, and on the bright side, I'm sure it's really inexpensive, right? Right?
2. The Moat - December 20, 2007 9:58 AM
Oh, and here's a quick list of things they may want to consider when making ver. 2.0 of this thing...
1. A grate over the massive spinning turbine to prevent the acciental loss of fingers, hands, or small household pets.
2. Some place to vent all the air going in. You've got two obnoxious fans blowing air IN, but no where for it to go OUT. Physics people! Wikipedia it if, necessary!
3. A shell design that DOESN'T remind me of driving through Pensylvania.
3. not a believer - December 20, 2007 10:19 AM
FAKE!
wow, anything else you don't like about it? what about the fact that most toasters actually "toast" the bread, instead of just "heating" it. wouldn't this be like trying to make toast with a blow dryer? besides, real men just put the bread on the burners of a gas stove.
4. Jumpin_J - December 20, 2007 11:12 AM
Yes, baked beans on toast. It's a British thing. You wouldn't understand.
5. nrgspike - December 20, 2007 12:21 PM
Hmmm, beans on toast! Reminds me of uni, staple student diet, that and Super Noodles. Anyway, it's patently someones design degree project. I'm pretty sure my Dualit can nuke bread faster than that.
6. stanley spadowski - December 20, 2007 12:22 PM
I guess the toaster is a British thing too????? Figures.
7. Steven Hawkins - December 20, 2007 12:33 PM
Blow torch is quicker.
8. Xstar - December 20, 2007 4:42 PM
Oh oh oh, so obviously fake. No one could seriously think that this toaster actually exists The uncovered (!) jet engine turbine, the colors, the design, the specs... Heinz would never invest in something like this. It is possibly one of the worst ideas for an invention ever!
9. .Ben - December 20, 2007 5:49 PM
So you can have your toast in 50 seconds, but it still takes 2 minutes for the beans to cook....
10. Alche - December 21, 2007 3:09 AM
I absolutely love the fact that the geekologist bothered timing his toaster, though I'm sure he only uses it for poptarts... 4 at a time. His girlfriend probably goes for 8 at a time by doubling up, hey only the frosted side needs the heat.