Dec 13 2007Gold Pills Are, Um, I Don't Even Know What
These $425 capsules are dipped in and filled with 24-karat gold and you're supposed to eat them to "increase your self-worth". Which isn't true, because if you do ingest them you'll just be increasing your "self-stupidity" and "self-flushing-money-down-the-toilet". I'll kill you if you buy them. Just down a jar of gold glitter if you're that hell-bent on having gold shit, it's a lot cheaper. My fiancé demanded I buy her a capsule, because she thinks she's all high-class and can just waste my money. Well she'll be getting the gold glitter treatment, because I sure as hell am not paying for these. She hasn't noticed the diamond in her engagement ring is just a piece of glass from a broken windshield, so I think I'll be fine.
Gold Pill makes you poop glitter for $425 [dvice]
thanks to Jacob and JohnyG30 for the tips
Reader Comments
1. do1t - December 13, 2007 10:47 AM
Wow...just when i thought the world could'nt get any weirder.....
http://do1t.net
2. ****ing hell - December 13, 2007 11:13 AM
i think the word your looking for is stupider
3. The Real TRON - December 13, 2007 11:18 AM
Get a bottle of Goldschlager and forget it!
4. Kaj - December 13, 2007 11:39 AM
I guess they've never heard of gold poisoning. However, if you're dumb enough to eat these you deserve it.
5. boredom - December 13, 2007 11:45 AM
I agree with 3, couple bottles and you'll be all set with gold and feeling really really good or bad (see lightweight)
6. guate6 - December 13, 2007 1:17 PM
Um...wtf? Things like this make me feel sorry for the future of human (and animal) civilization.
7. jessica - December 13, 2007 2:40 PM
I love your tags LOL
8. yea - December 13, 2007 4:20 PM
Paris Hilton would eat these for sure, and hopefully die
9. Things Fall Apart - December 14, 2007 3:46 PM
Essence of Ubique - safe when used as directed.
10. ben - December 14, 2007 8:26 PM
Whether right or not, ingesting gold for various reasons is almost as old as humanity. Some ancient cultures believe gold and menses is a mythical cure-all, and even some cults. There are people today who still think this, but they're less likely to admit so than earlier times.
11. chemist - December 15, 2007 11:09 PM
$500 turd right there. Gold is mostly inert and completely non-reactive to anything inside a person. All that will happen is that you'll literally be flushing gold down the toilet a few days later.
12. Kevin72 - December 16, 2007 4:35 AM
In Japan when I was there, they started up with gold flakes added to sushi. But at least you could see it when you eat it, and it was reasonably expensive, just enough to let the host gain face for being rich enough.
13. Brittany - March 10, 2008 3:58 PM
i totally want some of those pills... but i wouldn't eat 'em, i'd set them up somewhere and look at what i just wasted $425 on...
14. Ashley and Renee - March 31, 2008 4:53 PM
Ha Ha These are funny but Why? Just Why honestly!?!? I sometimes wonder about what us humans are coming to!
15. Austin - December 29, 2008 9:00 PM
hey dude, i just wanted to say that you are hilarious and thanks for making me laugh
16. bob - January 1, 2009 3:16 PM
that is stupid.......just comit suicide instead......way cheaper. THE WORLD IS GETTING STUPID
17. rojas - January 7, 2009 8:18 AM
wtf is the world coming to gold pills come on let the stupid people die and will be better off without them.
18. total bitch - February 18, 2009 4:39 AM
WOW! What next silk tp to wipe the golden shit off your ass? What a waste (pun intended).
19. Hawt Anna - February 23, 2009 5:33 AM
how could u do that 2 ur fiancee? i mean, a piece of broken windshield??!! that is cheap, cheap, cheap, and do u even love her?
20. golden master - March 17, 2009 10:14 PM
I NEED THESE TO GO WITH MY GOLDEN TOILET AND SILVER TOILET PAPER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21. realestatesky.net - March 23, 2009 3:03 PM
WOW it's amazing
22. Omg stupid things are stupid... - April 1, 2009 6:12 PM
Wow Ive never heard of anything as dumb s this this takes the world stupidity level up a whole 18 levels digesting gold!?!?!? who ever thought of that probally just wanted to make money. you could probally sell those for even more if you really wanted to.....hmm i wonder..?
23. mean people are mean... - April 1, 2009 6:14 PM
I LOVE LOVE LOVE #20'S COMMENT.....BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST SO MATERAILISTIC...
24. emily - June 29, 2009 1:05 PM
wouldn't glitterpoo make even the straightest person seem gay?
25. emily - June 29, 2009 1:15 PM
now they should come up with a pill that turns your pee and blood to gold..... and skin and everything else.
or your unborn child....
THE MILLION DOLLAR BABY!!!
26. woo hoo - July 2, 2009 10:04 AM
#24... oh so true!!!!
27. houston - September 15, 2009 1:50 PM
a scat lovers dream xD
(scat loving is people that use poop during sex)