Nov 23 2007U.S. Patent 6313371: Underwear Deodorizer
Well I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving yesterday and stuffed themselves full. I know I did -- I made my famous Thanksgiving bourbon. My mother brought a great gin dish over and my father cooked up an exceptional moonshine. Fun was had by all until I tried to make out with my sister. Anyways.
Just in time for Thanksgiving leftovers comes U.S. Patent 6313371. It describes the Flatulence Deodorizer, which is a "non-intrusive" pad you tape "inside briefs or panties in the anal area". It's basically a little activated carbon patch that neutralizes odors. And f'ing ridiculous. Just make sure the woman you brought home doesn't see it when you're stripping down. Because she'll jump out the window. And tell all her friends. Please don't get these, just blame the dog or a senile old person. That's what I do.
Farting damage control for the holidays [ubergizmo]
Reader Comments
1. Capt - November 23, 2007 12:08 PM
OMG this could be the greatest thing sense sliced bread. I NEED THIS!
2. gia - November 23, 2007 1:19 PM
omg!! that's funny...
3. George - November 23, 2007 3:06 PM
Are they standing in baggage claim?
4. windy's girl - November 23, 2007 3:39 PM
My bugle-butt-boyfriend needs this!
5. CLICK HERE - November 23, 2007 5:24 PM
Or better open the window...
6. Michael Brown - November 23, 2007 8:23 PM
this is insane - I mean seriously the people at the patent office must have been ROLFMAO
7. mkean - November 23, 2007 10:48 PM
I thought this was hilarious & showed it to my kids 5 & 7. My daughter's comment: "Get one, Mom!" Ugh.
8. Dr_Freak - November 24, 2007 1:04 AM
Didn't i see something like this in Mad mag years... like 20 years ago?
9. guate6 - November 24, 2007 1:44 AM
First, sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) is a better deodorizer than carbon. Carbon is a better filter. That aside, be a man. Fart like a man, and then fess up like a man. If you're a woman...then blame it on your man.
10. Grumpus - November 24, 2007 8:11 PM
Does it also translate any noise emissions into a more socially acceptable trill of classical music?
11. HOT GIRLS - November 25, 2007 12:22 PM
LOL... If you have one of this and make some noise... it will turn off the sound?
12. NekoNeko - November 26, 2007 5:34 AM
You could blame it on someone's kids. That's what I do. Of course it can get a bit awkward if the mom's standing next to you.
13. laura - November 26, 2007 10:11 PM
i swear i came up with something similar my sophomore year of high school. we had an assignment to come up with a product in my creative writing class and this is what i came up with. gahh bastards. i could be a zillionaire. :'(
14. war - December 11, 2007 6:31 AM
http://www.flat-d.com/
My mum bought some of these a while ago...