U.S. Patent 6313371: Underwear Deodorizer
Well I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving yesterday and stuffed themselves full. I know I did -- I made my famous Thanksgiving bourbon. My mother brought a great gin dish over and my father cooked up an exceptional moonshine. Fun was had by all until I tried to make out with my sister. Anyways.
Just in time for Thanksgiving leftovers comes U.S. Patent 6313371. It describes the Flatulence Deodorizer, which is a "non-intrusive" pad you tape "inside briefs or panties in the anal area". It's basically a little activated carbon patch that neutralizes odors. And f'ing ridiculous. Just make sure the woman you brought home doesn't see it when you're stripping down. Because she'll jump out the window. And tell all her friends. Please don't get these, just blame the dog or a senile old person. That's what I do.
Farting damage control for the holidays [ubergizmo]