The Life Clock is the lovechild of an alarm clock and one of those annoying-ass Tamagotchi virtual pets that always died on me. They're available in a variety of colors and run about $30. When the alarm goes off in the morning and you hit snooze or take too long to get to it, the little people that live inside suffer. Which is awesome. Because if there's one thing I love in this world it's watching little LCD people suffer. I'm going to get one and put two really weak batteries in so they'll be hurting right out of the box. Then I'll stuff it under a few pillows and let it go off all day. Take that you little bastards.
Life Clock is a fun way to start your day [newlaunches]
The Orgasmo Clock wakes you up in the morning to the invigorating moan of a woman having an orgasm. Which is pretty freaking awesome if you ask me. It costs $25. I don't need one though, because I almost always wake up to a woman having an orgasm. Unfortunately it's my girl... / Continue →
Okay, the clock doesn't actually shock you in the traditional sense. It just makes crackling and buzzing electrical noises to wake you up. It also has a little lightning show in the glass tube when the alarm goes off. It costs $60. Now call me crazy, but who the hell wants ... / Continue →
The $25 Rocket Launcher Alarm Clock is phallic as hell and I want one really badly. When it's time to wake up the rocket ship blasts off -- and you have to retrieve said rocket and replace it on the base for the beeping to stop. Alternatively, you can break the base. And whi... / Continue →