Nov 28 2007Santa: All I Want For Christmas Is A VertiPod
Dear Santa,
This is the Geekologie writer. I don’t want to waste any of your time, but I thought you might want to know what I want for Christmas. All I want is a VertiPod. I know what you’re thinking, the name is dumb as hell -- but I can look past that. It's a personal hovercraft! It hovers 5-15 feet above the ground and can reach a top speed of 40mph. Wow! They come as an assemble-yourself kit with either petrol or ethanol engine (I'll take the ethanol). The cost is about $10,000, but apparently they're not on the market yet. Having been such a good boy this year I though that you could get together with the Easter Bunny and maybe steal me the prototype or something. I swear I'll cut down on the penis jokes and cheating behind my girlfriend's back. I may even give up drinking. Okay, not the drinking. What do you say? Listen Santa, I've already pounded a fifth of bourbon writing this and I'm getting pretty worked up. I'm not asking for the VertiPod anymore, I'm demanding it. You will bring me that VertiPod or I'll slice your package off. You know, the one you haven't seen in years because you're such a fat bastard. I've caught word that Mrs. Claus is completely unsatisfied. S you know I'm totally gonna lay the hump down on her. Hell, we may even have a sex party with some elves and reindeer. So yeah, one VertiPod please.
Yours truly,
The Geekologie Writer
VertiPod is Segway of the sky [ubergizmo]
Reader Comments
1. Doogie Howser - November 28, 2007 5:08 PM
Now I can look down women's blouses with little effort...
2. CLICK HERE - November 28, 2007 5:36 PM
Nice! I want this...
3. clay - November 28, 2007 8:15 PM
Geekologie writer? COME ON! I WANT A FULL NAME SO I CAN DROP BY UNANNOUNCED AND WE CAN...YOU KNOW....just hang out! omg i'll bring my gadgets over and we can compare and contrast. i'll also bring blood. a mason jar full of blood. what's that? no blood? fine, no blood.
4. VIPER - November 28, 2007 8:34 PM
LMAO another great article. More sarcasm in all your articles please bud!
5. Jab - November 28, 2007 9:53 PM
Video or it didn't happen.
I can put some buckets around a trampoline too and tell people it flies, I'll sell it to you for only $5000.
6. guate6 - November 28, 2007 11:42 PM
#5: heh.
I am interested, but to be quite honest, anyone can reverse engineer this thing (even from pictures) and spend no more than $500 building one's own. To be honest, it's awesome and amazing, but not worth the price. $10k for going 40mph? c'mon, my second car cost $13k previously owned and I've hit at least 115mph...I won't get into my car now, but still...lower the price tenfold and you have a deal!
7. Gamer - November 28, 2007 11:56 PM
I don’t, you cant get laid with it that’s for sure.
8. Superevil - November 29, 2007 12:05 AM
Well it's not a jetpack but its a step in the right direction
9. SoulHunter - November 29, 2007 2:15 AM
LOL...WHAT IS THAT....
10. Jeezy - November 29, 2007 9:43 AM
Get these fucking spymac spammers out of here! Geekologie, you have to be able to block these fucks.
11. The other Jeezy - November 29, 2007 11:46 AM
I agree Jeezy, unless they're going to show us some poon.
12. Michael Brown - November 29, 2007 8:53 PM
I wonder if it has any safety's to prevent you from, oh I dunno, falling sideways and dying. I'd hate to drop my cell phone into the big blade and fall 15 feet to my death. Cause of course I'd be talking on it while laughing at all the poor bastards stuck in traffic.
13. westre - November 30, 2007 10:50 AM
So fake. Even the company's site doesn't have a single PHOTO of the thing hovering, let alone video. Either this is a really weak hoax, or this thing doesn't really work anyway.
See http://airbuoyant.com/vertipod_uav.htm for staggeringly professional photos and site design from the 'company' making this crock.