Santa: All I Want For Christmas Is A VertiPod

Dear Santa,

This is the Geekologie writer. I don’t want to waste any of your time, but I thought you might want to know what I want for Christmas. All I want is a VertiPod. I know what you’re thinking, the name is dumb as hell -- but I can look past that. It's a personal hovercraft! It hovers 5-15 feet above the ground and can reach a top speed of 40mph. Wow! They come as an assemble-yourself kit with either petrol or ethanol engine (I'll take the ethanol). The cost is about $10,000, but apparently they're not on the market yet. Having been such a good boy this year I though that you could get together with the Easter Bunny and maybe steal me the prototype or something. I swear I'll cut down on the penis jokes and cheating behind my girlfriend's back. I may even give up drinking. Okay, not the drinking. What do you say? Listen Santa, I've already pounded a fifth of bourbon writing this and I'm getting pretty worked up. I'm not asking for the VertiPod anymore, I'm demanding it. You will bring me that VertiPod or I'll slice your package off. You know, the one you haven't seen in years because you're such a fat bastard. I've caught word that Mrs. Claus is completely unsatisfied. S you know I'm totally gonna lay the hump down on her. Hell, we may even have a sex party with some elves and reindeer. So yeah, one VertiPod please.

Yours truly,

The Geekologie Writer

VertiPod is Segway of the sky [ubergizmo]

• Jet Wing: Not A Jetpack But I'll Still Take It

  January 24, 2008

  We've posted different jetpacks here before, and let's face it, jetpacks are awesome as hell. We also posted the Vampire 2 Wingsuit, which was pretty sweet in its own way. And now comes a sort of hybrid of the two, the Personal Jet Wing. Basically you jump out of a plane w... / Continue →
• Amazing!: A Hummingbird Feeder Helmet

  October 27, 2009

  This is a video of a hummingbird feeder that's incorporated into a $80 flowery mask. You leave it outside for awhile to get the birds used to it, then put that sucker on one day and sit still while the hummers come to feed right between your eyes. INTENSE! Reminds me of the ... / Continue →
• OLD Hover Scooter Is OLD, From The '60's

  May 6, 2009

  The Hover Scooter may have made its debut in December, 1960, but that doesn't make it any less the vehicle I want to ride to work everyday. Also, if any of you ladies are interested in a lift I'll even mount a seat on the blower. And I'm not just saying that so I can make a '... / Continue →