Oct 29 2007Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped
When I think topless table, I think topless table dancers gyrating and whatnot and otherwise being all boobily up in my face. Well this table is the exact opposite.
It’s just a paradigm shift in what we normally think a table should look like - some legs supporting a flat surface. Design Diana Halbeisen wanted to experiment with different forms. She thought about what a dinner table is used for, how things are placed, etc. Her design is a series of metal rods with bent circles to hold various dinner and flatware.
Yeah, so this is the wackest table ever. As a matter of fact, I don't think you can call this a table. So from now on this will be known as a fable. But not one about mythical beasts and animals and shit like that with a moral at the end. No this fable has metal rods that can end up jammed in your ass if you bend over in its vicinity. Try telling that one to your kids before bed.
One more after the spill.
A Table With No Top [yankodesign]
Related Stories
Where Are All The Forks?: A Utensil Table (10/29/2008)
Table Makes You Kill Dining Partner (08/27/2007)
Crazy Sink Is Crazy, Drains Onto The Floor (04/18/2009)
Blocky, Reaaaally Blocky: Tetris Furniture (04/15/2009)
Dining Table Doubles As Ping Pong Table (03/31/2009)
Reader Comments
1. boredom - October 29, 2007 1:53 PM
damn and I thought I was bored sometimes at work but I've never had the free time to come up with stupid "tables" like this. Though apparently I have enough free time to be first again...
2. jake - October 29, 2007 2:00 PM
that's the stupidest thing i've ever seen
3. gia - October 29, 2007 2:05 PM
omg!!
4. Sanjuro - October 29, 2007 2:11 PM
Slogan: "Torture never looked to edible!"
5. Freee Pron - October 29, 2007 2:14 PM
That is stupid. Why have they not considered practicality when designing stuff. Idiot
6. Tap - October 29, 2007 2:18 PM
Those small pictures after the jump look terrifying! Like that thing is going to kill you. "In Soviet Russia, the tables eat you!"
7. Hoot - October 29, 2007 2:50 PM
Shit, I thought "topless table" meant it was shaped like a naked gil. Once again, technology has led me astray.
8. guate6 - October 29, 2007 3:06 PM
Clearly this table was designed by a single never-to-be-married individual, for a single never-to-be-married person. It's a pseudo-table for one. GAY. Oh yeah, and it sucks anal pubes too.
9. clark - October 29, 2007 3:21 PM
hahahahhaha. "try telling that to you kid before bed"
10. bill - October 29, 2007 3:54 PM
It looks to me that if you were to place any type of food on a plate that has any sort of weight to it, you'd hear a plop, followed by a lap full of steaming gravy. And not the good kind, oh no. The hot kind that prevents you from ever making babies.
11. Merlow - October 29, 2007 4:07 PM
these are already available for sale!!
12. Serge - October 30, 2007 1:01 AM
Can’t you just impale and kill someone at the ‘table’ by just a strong nudge/bump/kick/shove?
13. No, my name is not required - March 6, 2009 12:39 AM
Totally functional if we can agree that 90% of a table is wasted space while dining and 100% is wasted space when NOT dining.
What would make this actually cool would be to have it built flush into the wall and have it drop down for use and collapse back up again to save space. Still, those prongs are to dangerous, especially at table height, you could lose a ya-ya or a something so they should extend them to form an outer rim.
Of course for total coolness it should drop down out of the ceiling and allow service for 4 people - not one lonely shuck up against the wall!