ISIS Puzzle Ball: Not As Tough As My Balls

The ISIS is a tricky puzzle ball that is apparently hard as hell to solve. Each one is unique, with only one solution. If you solve it you can win prizes like cash, a massage chair, and other crap.
The puzzle is a gleaming orb, handcrafted in England of a premier alloy of aluminum and constructed of precisely engineered, moveable bands. Each band is etched with hieroglyphics; the challenge is to position those bands in the right combination to unlock the ISIS. You are given 10 encrypted clues to decipher.
Let the fun begin! Then when you're pissed after a half hour pull out the trusty sledgehammer and solve that bitch real quick. Oh wait it says on the site if you damage it you're out. Who has time for a puzzle that lasts years anyways? Especially one that costs $200? There's only one puzzle I've been trying to solve for over a year, and that's how to get laid. You know, without paying.
Sharper Image [thanks to JE once again for the tip]
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