Nov 2 2007 LED Rims: No Car Is Complete Without Them
Pimpstar has had their static image LED rims out for over a year now, and now LED Wheels is stepping it up a notch with a line of full motion LED rims, because, well, because.
Enter LED Wheels, a company that envisions a world with flashing graphics, customized designs and even adverts for Macy's Labor Day Sale rotating on your rims. The screen in the rim's center looks to be about seven to eight inches wide and remains upright while the wheel rotates around it.
Seeing how the Pimpstars were between $12,000-$20,000 a set, these things are going to cost a fortune. Wait a minute. Did that quote up there mention a Macy's Labor Day Sale? Where in the shit did that come from? If LED Wheels is imagining a world with Macy's advertisements on rims, I'm imagining myself dropping a toaster into the tub the next time I take a bath.
A very, very disappointing video of the suckers after the jump (Note: Don't demo your wheels with a crappy-ass, locally made Chrysler commercial on them).
Continue Reading " LED Rims: No Car Is Complete Without Them "
Nov 2 2007 Man Files Patent For Taser-Proof Clothing
The picture above is a diagram from an Arizona man's US Patent application showing his taser-proof clothing. Or if you want to get technical it's the patent for an "energy weapon protection device". It's basically conductive and non-conductive material in layers that prevent an electric charge from ever reaching the body -- because yelling "Don't tase me, bro!" just doesn't work. This stuff wouldn't be such a bad idea if you get tased on a regular basis, and if you had pants and a mask made out of the same material. While a jacket is a good start, you don't want to be zapped in the face and/or testicles because the coppers find out you're wearing a tase-proof jacket.
TASER-Proof Gear is Great for Students, Political Activists, Criminals [gizmodo]
Nov 2 2007 Batter Blaster Is Amazing, Picture Says So
The picture says it all folks, "Amazing". Batter Blaster is aerosol pancake/waffle mix that you squirt directly from the can onto the griddle. You'll have hot and fluffy-ass pancakes lickity split, without the annoyance of having to add water to a dry mix and stirring. Leave that to the 1900's, we're living in the 2000's now people. That's right, we eat shit out of aerosol cans. I'm just hoping that Batter Blaster follows in the footsteps of E-Z Cheese and makes their product delicious enough to squirt straight into the mouth. Mmmm, pancake batter.
Batter Blaster: Pancakes in a Can [boingboing]
Nov 2 2007 Charcoal Toothpaste Looks Like Sludge
Charcle is a Korean charcoal based toothpaste. It is black, looks like sludge, and probably doesn't taste like licorice. A DesignNotes tester had the following to say about the product:
This morning I tried it for the first time, the experience ended up being less pleasant then I first thought it would be. I was fine seeing the black stuff on my brush, it wasn’t until it went into my mouth when my stomach started to turn. Near the end I barely could brush my tongue and when I spit it out to rinse I felt a bit queazy. In the end though my mouth did feel clean, but I’m not sure if the weirdness that I felt would be something I’d want to do again.
So there, it's surprisingly unpleasant. Never would have guessed that. Now from what I remember (which is very little) I think charcoal is what they use to pump my stomach when I've "had too much to drink". Whatever that means. Just because you're caught humping a parking meter doesn't mean you've "had too much to drink". No sir. It just means you have fine taste in quarter receptacles. And trust me, parking meters are some of the best -- right up there with arcade games and old cigarette vending machines.
Charcoal Toothpaste - Just About The Worst Thing I've Seen All Week [ohgizmo]
Nov 2 2007 Beer Fridge Looks Good, I Want One Badly
It's a glorified kegerator, but damn does it look fine. The HomePub Refridgerator/Freezer is a quality cooling unit from Scandinavian manufacturer Asko. It's available in Europe right now for around $1,000 and is coming to the US soon. Who needs an ice and water dispenser in the door when you can have cold beer? Not I. Oh, the sad part -- it only holds those little 5 liter pony kegs (with one hooked up in the door). :( But that's not stopping me, just look at that guy in the picture. I want to be him. You get up in the morning, slip on your gaudy wedding ring after kicking out your mistress, throw a roast in the oven for lunch, grab the paper, and a nice cold breakfast beer. Now that, my friends, is living the life.
One more picture of the inside after the jump.
Continue Reading " Beer Fridge Looks Good, I Want One Badly "
Nov 2 2007 The British Develop An 'Invisible' Tank
The British have allegedly developed an 'invisible' tank that will be ready for service by 2012. Basically the technology "uses cameras and projectors to beam images of the surrounding landscape onto a tank." While I can understand that it will probably be better than paint, I get the feeling it will only look 'invisible' if you're looking at it from the exact perfect angle. And obviously the picture above isn't real. The man behind the dream is the Ministry of Defense's Professor Sir John Pendry, who said the only real drawback was the reliability of the cameras and projectors. He then added "The next stage is to make the tank invisible without them - which is intricate and complicated, but possible." Proving beyond shadow of a doubt that the whole project is indeed run by a crackpot.
Army tests James Bond style tank that is 'invisible' [dailymail]
thanks to David, the man James Bond was modeled after, for the tip
Nov 2 2007 All Glass Sinks Are Very Clear, See Through
The IKS vanity from Lasa Idea, an Italian bathroom-stuff manufacturer, is a single piece of molded glass. Which makes it a very clear sink indeed. They're available now if you have a ton of money to spend remodeling a vessel that's primarily used for washing your hands after holding your ding-a-ling. I almost ordered one, but then I realized guests would be able to see the porno stash I keep under the sink. I'm not ashamed or anything, it's just that some people aren't progressive enough to fully appreciate my "Sex With Electronics" fetish mags.
Contemporary vanity from Lasa Idea - the IKS vanity [trendir]
Nov 2 2007 Steampunk Pac-Gentleman Is Pretty Sweet
Doktor A, the artist/sculptor responsible for this awesomely awesome steampunk creation has titled it "The Secret History of Video Games: Pac Gentleman". He also provides an explanation of the game.
When this game was first released in 1880 it was so hugely popular in taverns and inns that the bank of England was forced to mint more threepenny bits to keep up with demand. The game was created by messrs Nam & Nam and Co. as a novelty pastime for the masses. Outdoing the previous top public house game of Shove Ha’penny.
So there you have it, straight from the good doktor's mouth. He is one clever bastard, I'll tell you that. Who would have thought ol' Pac would look so good in a bowler hat? And the mustaches on the ghosts, divine. I wish I could grow one like that, but alas, I'm just a hairless prepubescent boy.
One more picture after the jump.
Continue Reading " Steampunk Pac-Gentleman Is Pretty Sweet "
Nov 1 2007 Levitation Is Probably Result Of Black Magic
Crealev, a Netherlands based company, has developed a way to "levitate an open platform with whatever you want on top to a significant height in a stable and resilient way." No word on how it works, but it's allegedly inexpensive (although I find that hard to believe) and requires little power (0.5-0.8 watts for the items in the video). They're just taking custom orders now, but plan to have a line of products available in the future. I actually finished submitting a custom order before writing this, and I just wrote "me" as the object I want levitated. Magic baby! That ass-clown Criss Angel doesn't have shit on this guy.
A very short video of some levitation after the jump.
UPDATE: Another video demonstration added as well.
Continue Reading " Levitation Is Probably Result Of Black Magic "
Nov 1 2007 Roulette Rims Are Dumb, The World Is Ending
I knew it was only a matter of time, and now that time has run out. Introducing the Roulette Wheel Rims, by Lenso, coming soon to a rap video near you.
Lenso created these unique roulette wheel rims and if you're not swayed by the black and red numbers around the outer edge, maybe the Louis Vuitton leather finish in the middle might sell you. Even the company's name has been spelled out in oh-so-tasteful rhinestones if for some reason you're not getting the whole 'Las Vegas' theme here.
Leather on your rims, great combo. It's official folks, the end is near. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are right around the corner and waiting to swoop in and kill us all. Well at least anyone that would consider these things (this guy is a likely candidate). Okay, maybe I'm being a little harsh. Wait, *looks again* no, no I'm not.
Roulette Wheel Makes your Car Think It's In Vegas [techeblog]
Nov 1 2007 New Dice Make Computer Diagnosis Easy
PC Dice are a sophisticated diagnostic tool used to determine the current problem with your computer. They run $27 for the set of three dice. You just give them a good roll, and presto -- your problem reveals itself.
The green die has the words Virus, Spyware, Modem, Video, Network and Reboot. The blue die comes with Install, New PC, Upgrade, No Idea, Quit and $$, and the red die features Windows, Unix, Linux, Wireless, Wired and Mix.
Now I'm not saying that these work better than the real IT department, but they definitely do. Their archaic method of spinning a big wheel with computer problems listed on it is simply no match for this technological breakthrough.
A painful video demonstration after the video.
Nov 1 2007 Chair Is Very Cool, Takes Up A Lot Of Room
I've seen chairs like this before, but never on this scale. The Loopita, by designer Victor Aleman, is constructed from a single piece of red oak and covered with high density foam for your sitting pleasure. The picture above actually shows three units put together, each one alone is a single loop, capable of comfortably seating two people. No word if you can buy them, but I bet they'd be expensive anyways -- and great for my all-night orgies. What's that? You're calling me a liar? Fine --you got me, I haven't had sex (with another person) in years. My penis just told me if I don't make something happen soon he's packing up the balls and hitting the road.
Two more pictures after the jump.
Continue Reading " Chair Is Very Cool, Takes Up A Lot Of Room "
Nov 1 2007 CD Turbine + Sawblade = Goodbye Fingers
"Mr. Fix It" Rick is some crazy guy on Youtube who builds things that are a lot more efficient (and safer) to just buy. In this segment he shows you how he put together his latest "Magnetic Tesla CD Turbine with Sawblade Attachment". It runs off of a garden hose, but I've seen others he's made using compressed air. I almost didn't post this, because he doesn't test it out and lose a finger, but I figured I would anyways. That way when he does lose a finger, arm, or eyeball I can link back to this entry and start the new one by saying "remember that crazy a-hole that made the CD turbine powered saw..."
UPDATE: Very weak demonstration of the thing in action after the jump.
Continue Reading " CD Turbine + Sawblade = Goodbye Fingers "
Nov 1 2007 Donut Machine Is My Girlfriend's Dream Man
The Dough-Nu-Matic is a stupidly named automatic donut machine. Sort of. You see, you still have to make the dough and put it in. All the machine does is form the delicious little bastards and fry them. You can crank out about a dozen in under six minutes. The unit costs $130 from Skymall (surprise, surprise) and I'm sure as soon as my hideous girlfriend reads this she'll have three on order. One for the house, one for the office, and the crazy bitch will probably mount one in her car. She can barely go a minute without a warm donut.
Dough-Nu-Matic Automatic Doughnut Machine [boingboing]
Nov 1 2007 Calculator Prevents Indecent Exposure
The Chrome Calculator Belt Buckle ($10) is almost exactly what it sounds like. The only thing they failed to mention is that it also serves as an incredibly effective chastity device. You can put it on either way (numbers up or down), so that you can use it, or someone else can do the number punching for you. It's pretty f'ing dorky, but I got one anyways. I like to keep a real close eye on my secretary when she's calculating expense reports.
The Amazing Chrome Calculator Belt Buckle [slashgear]
Nov 1 2007 Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable
The Zen Dolphin is a glowing blue plastic dolphin that's supposed to help you relax. It moves like it's swimming.
Relax as you watch Zen Dolphin magically swim above its illuminating base. Beautiful blue light makes it appear as though Zen Dolphin is effortlessly swimming through the sea. Perfect for home, as a night light, the office and more!
It costs around $40, and takes 3 C batteries. It also plays some underwater sounds and dolphin noises. I don't know about you, but it makes perfect sense to me. I get pretty stressed here in my cubicle, and I was just thinking the other day "You know what would really help me unwind? A giant plastic dolphin humping my desk. That should do the trick."
Video demonstration after the jump.
Continue Reading " Zen Dolphin Relaxation Aid Is Questionable "
Oct 31 2007 Smash The Hell Out Of A $6,020 Chair
The Do Hit Chair is ridiculous. It's a 0.04" thick steel cube that costs $6,020. The idea is that you take a sledgehammer or anything else to it and beat it to shit, until you've got something in the shape that you want. If you screw it up you're f'ed. You'll probably end up with something that resembles a sharp metal shiv just itching to tear you a new a-hole. Because that's exactly what it'll be. I just can't believe this thing. The last time I spent $6,000 on furniture it was for my wife's new breasts, and those things are comfortable as hell. This thing just looks painful.
One more of a sweaty man after a job (horribly) well done after the jump.
Oct 31 2007 Best Product Ever Ever Ever: The Wine Rack
The Wine Rack, made by thebeerbelly.com (who also produce a fake beer belly to sneak beer/liquor into places) is a sports bra looking alcohol container! That's right ladies (and sick men), now you can sneak booze into the movies for me. For only $30 you can buy my undying love and affection. I've always dreamed of suckling bourbon from a woman's teat, and now my dream is reality. This would be perfect for my girlfriend, because she's flatter than hell. Did I just say that? I was lying, she's concave. No boobies whatsoever. No word on when they'll be available, but suffice it to say this will be the hottest present of the year. And ladies: If you don't mind wearing the Wine Rack for me, I'm yours forever. I'll even cook and do the laundry. Just kidding, you know that's your job.
Product Site via [ohgizmo]
Oct 31 2007 Happy Halloween From Two Major Dorks
So these two guys dressed up as iPhones for some Halloween party, complete with LCD displays.
LOL People on digg think we stole these displays from apple LOL. But we didn't it's just an LCD tv hooked into a video ipod. We edited the display video and cut out all the zoom out shots. We don't work for apple or anything. I'm a DJ and Bobby is in a rock band. That's part of the ponytail thing LOL.
Damn that guy finds everything funny doesn't he, with all his LOLing. You might think I called them dorks in the headline because I'm jealous I don't have an LCD screen lying around to incorporate into a f'ing Halloween costume. Well you're wrong. I called them dorks because they can't dance worth shit. Notice how they don't have any candy? That's because they suck.
iPhone sez Happy Halloween [core77]
Oct 31 2007 Go Green: Water Plants With Dishwater
Erdem Selek has developed the Planter Dish Drip, which is a planter you can put your just-washed dishes in and let them drip onto a plant, watering it. Apparently people waste upwards of a couple gallons of water per year not using their dishwater. Great idea, but I suck at washing dishes. And believe me, plants can't survive on Spaghetti-O's and Easy Mac alone. Just ask the prize winning orchid I was taking care of for my girlfriend. That thing is dead as shit.
Waste Not That Drip Water [yankodesign]
Oct 31 2007 USB Ferris Wheel Phone Stand: Must Have!
Usbgeek has released yet another sweet-ass USB gadget - the USB Ferris Wheel Phone Stand ($27). What you do is throw your cell phone up on the piece, and then wait for an incoming call. Then the fun begins! The Ferris wheel rotates, LEDs flash, and it plays Rock-a-Bye Baby. I think USB gadget inventors can hang up their hats today folks, USB perfection has been reached. Did I mention watching it made me want to hurt myself? It did. There's a video after the jump, but I'm warning you -- if you watch past the 7-second mark you'll probably stab yourself.
UPDATE: Geekologie is in no way responsible for thrill-seekers that choose to watch past 7-seconds and do themselves bodily harm.
Continue Reading " USB Ferris Wheel Phone Stand: Must Have! "
Oct 31 2007 17,000 Watt System Not Good For Your Car
Pack a 17,000 watt system into a 2006 Expedition with 22-speakers and what do you get? A car that rattles a whole lot. A lot a lot. Like shake your balls loose rattling. "Why do this?" you ask. "HUH? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" guy replies. Oh touché my deaf friend. Touché.
This 17,000 Watt Car Stereo Turns Car Into Jell-O [switched, thanks to Ali and Pat for the tips]
Oct 31 2007 Fancy Credit Card Looks Like Calculator
Innovative Card Technologies got together with eMue Technologies to come up with a credit card with a "Credit Card Embedded Authentication Device". Basically whenever you're making an internet or mobile-based transaction you have to enter your PIN into the card to receive a one-time-use authentication code to complete the deal. I'm thinking you should probably grab one of these as soon as they're available. Because while you were reading this I joined two "women over 60" themed porno sites using your credit card. Thanks for the wrinkles!
Next-gen credit cards to feature miniature displays and keypads [engadget]
Oct 31 2007 Police To Use Gun Cameras For Evidence
Police officers in Orange County, New York are having their guns fitted with pistol cameras, which show the view of the barrel and target. When an officer removes the gun from its holster, it starts recording. The resulting video will help justify lawful shootings, as well as aid in disciplining officers responsible for wrongful shots. If nothing else, this new arrival should provide for some pretty interesting Youtube footage.
Please note I was unaware of the Philadelphia tragedy at the time of initial commentary.
Pistol Cam Offers Police Gun Barrel View [therawfeed]
Oct 30 2007 Mac-O-Lanterns: Great Use For Old Macs
Don't toss that old Mac to the curb -- paint that bitch orange, install a JPEG viewer, and ta-da, you've got yourself a sweet Mac-o-lantern -- or an old Mac painted orange that's capable of viewing very low-grade porn. Which, I might add, isn't all that bad if you have a very active imagination. Of course, this is from a guy that has spent hours masturbating to Princess Peach on a paused Nintendo. So, um, yeah.
mac-o-lanterns light the way this halloween [technabob]
Oct 30 2007 Key Holder Is Expensive, Provides No Jingle
The Keyport Key Holder is finally hitting the market. The damn things cost $295 (!) and will first be available only to those on the reserve list. Which, if you are on, is despicable. I mean $300? And why the hell does the thing have a key-ring dongle? What the hell is the matter with just a key-ring? I thought that your status in life was directly proportional to the jingle of the keys you carry. Which, I might add, makes the janitor at work the most successful person I know.
Keyport availability announced, priced outrageously [engadget]
Oct 30 2007 Dynamic Daylight Window Is Trippy, Cool
The video above is a demonstration of Philip's new Dynamic Daylight Windows. It's awesome. Even more awesome if you're on drugs. By waving your hand around you can adjust the level of darkness, as well as color hue. I want them installed in all my windows. Apparently hotels are considering them to aid travelers deal with jet lag. Of course hotels could probably save a lot of money and just go with the jet lag remedy I've been recommending for years -- a free mini-bar. I can get so drunk I don't remember my name, let alone the time of day. After a week or so I wake up and I'm good to go. Simple.
A much longer video demonstration after the jump that features a woman with a laugh that makes me amorous.
Continue Reading " Dynamic Daylight Window Is Trippy, Cool "
Oct 30 2007 Paper Master Chief Looks Better Than Mine
Billybob884 of deviantART has developed a Papercraft style Master Chief model. The final product "comes out to be 13" (33 cm) tall, has roughly 2,100 faces (+ ~800 for the gun), and is made up of 42 pieces (+ 10 for the gun)." If you want to give it a go follow the link and print out the instructions, PDF pieces, and grab the model file. They say it is not a model recommended for beginner paper-folders. And they weren't lying. Mine turned out a lot less like Master Chief and a lot more like a crumpled green paper turd that the cats are batting around.
Master Chief Assembled [deviantART]
Oct 30 2007 The Talking CD Album: You'll Still Crash
The talking CD album holds 20 CDs and a 3 second message you record for each one. As you flip the pages it plays back the messages, so you know which CD is which, without having to look. You have to make sure that each CD goes back in its original slot though, or the whole thing is screwed. It's supposed to make driving safer. It reminds me of this thing, which was pretty horrible. They run $48, and I admire the inventor's effort to make the roads a safer place. But I'll pass. Just sing in the car like I do. If people look at you like you're crazy then just wave your arms around and swerve in and out of your lane. Then they'll know you're crazy.
Oct 30 2007 Shotgun Is Almost As Large As My Gun
The world's largest shotgun still has a ways to go to beat what I'm packing, but it certainly isn't anything to shake a stick at. The damn thing is around 11-feet long, has a 2-inch barrel, and packs a punch strong enough to wipe out 50-100 ducks on the water. It must be mounted in order to be shot, due to its size and recoil. Kind of reminds me of my penis. One time I forgot to mount that thing before using the men's room at a bar and the recoil blew me through the wall and into the kitchen. Just kidding, I only saw that happen. My penis is tiny.
A video of the gun in action after the jump.
Oct 30 2007 Star Wars Costume Tees Are Very Awesome
80's Tees is selling these wicked Star Wars Costume Tees in case you need a quick Halloween costume that won't arrive until after Halloween. R2D2 and Darth Vader go for $28 apiece, and the Chewbacca and Storm Trooper will set you back an even $30. Pretty expensive for t-shirts, but worth it. And apparently they're really convincing. "This Star Wars t-shirt will turn you into a wookie in a flash. Is it you or Chewbacca? No one will know!" Okay, if no one can tell you from a wookie because you put a brown shirt on, you may be the world's ugliest-ass person (behind my girlfriend). Now I'm not stupid enough to call these the awesomest shirts in the world, because that would be a bold statement. No sir, these are the awesomest shirts in the universe.
Chewbacca Costume T-Shirt [geekalerts]
Oct 30 2007 Miller Lite Subwoofer Will Get Stolen Quickly
Somebody definitely stayed up all night designing this, unfortunately they stayed up pounding Miller Lite. The result? The Miller Lite Subwoofer. It was made for indoor use, but I was sure when I saw it that it was made to sit in the back of a decrepit 1984 Toyota Corolla. You know, so you can still bang out your beats without getting the speaker stolen because you're missing the rear passenger's side door. This thing would last less than a night in my town. Somebody would steal it, realize it was a speaker and then A) keep it and put it in their car, or B) smash it because they were hoping for beer, then kick out your headlights and tear off your rearview mirrors for tricking them. Spiteful bastards.
Beer Case Subwoofer Enclosure Tempts Thieves With A Less Appetizing Target [uberreview]
Oct 29 2007 Drunk Driving: The Electric Cooler Scooter
The X-Treme Cooler Scooter is exactly what it sounds like -- a cooler and scooter that come together to produce awesome drunken forays to and fro the liquor store. They come in 300 and 500 watt versions, can go 20 MPH, and have a range of 10-15 miles. It's got brakes and all that stuff, but the important thing is that you can get a drink out of the cooler while driving. They only cost $380, so I stole the money from my girlfriend to buy one. I'm gonna pack that bitch full of bourbon and beer and then cruise for hot chicks at the local college. I won't have any luck with the ladies, but I'll definitely get drunk and forget my way home.
X-Treme Cooler Scooter - Access your food and drinks on the move [bornrich]
Oct 29 2007 Robot Car Is Tiny, Still Fits Lots of Clowns
The Picobot is allegedly the world's smallest autonomous robot. I say allegedly as I'm not up to date on the world's smallest autonomous robots because I have better things to do. So we'll just assume it is. It doesn't do much besides drive itself off a table, but hey, you've got to start somewhere. The maker plans to include wireless communications, camera, sensor, and GPS technology in future versions. No official word on the number of clowns the thing can fit, but based on my expert opinion I'm going six. Maybe seven if they aren't wearing those stupid oversized shoes.
A video of the car repeatedly committing suicide after the jump. And props to the maker for the Pabst stovepipe on the table.
Continue Reading " Robot Car Is Tiny, Still Fits Lots of Clowns "
Oct 29 2007 Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped
When I think topless table, I think topless table dancers gyrating and whatnot and otherwise being all boobily up in my face. Well this table is the exact opposite.
It’s just a paradigm shift in what we normally think a table should look like - some legs supporting a flat surface. Design Diana Halbeisen wanted to experiment with different forms. She thought about what a dinner table is used for, how things are placed, etc. Her design is a series of metal rods with bent circles to hold various dinner and flatware.
Yeah, so this is the wackest table ever. As a matter of fact, I don't think you can call this a table. So from now on this will be known as a fable. But not one about mythical beasts and animals and shit like that with a moral at the end. No this fable has metal rods that can end up jammed in your ass if you bend over in its vicinity. Try telling that one to your kids before bed.
One more after the spill.
Continue Reading " Topless Table Less Exciting Than I Hoped "
Oct 29 2007 Bullet Tape Ensures Packages Won't Arrive
Tired of using the same boring-ass clear packing tape when sending a package? Well check out some of your other options. RuebenMiller has posted a review of 20 different designer packing tapes that are currently available. This is my personal favorite, the bullets. There's simply no better way to ensure your package doesn't arrive on time and unopened than wrapping it with this stuff. Smear some unidentified white powder on the box and throw something that ticks in there and you'll really be good to go. To prison for being an ass-clown.
Two more different ones after the jump.
Continue Reading " Bullet Tape Ensures Packages Won't Arrive "
Oct 29 2007 Aromatherapy Pens Encourage Huffing
Swiss Aromatherapy Pens are pens that have a liquid reservoir and rollerball on top (in upper left of photo), so that you can dispense smelly goodness onto your writings, or seal envelopes without using your mouth. They're $50 apiece, and come in scents like rose, mint, grapefruit, eucalyptus, lavender, orange, and ginger. A refill pack containing all the scents costs $28. These things remind me of those Mr. Sketch scented markers I used in grade school. Which, incidentally, turned me on to a life of huffing. Speaking of which -- I think the guy at the hobby shop is getting suspicious I buy all the model airplane glue and no model airplanes.
Aromatherapy Pens Probably Not As Satisfyinig As A Sharpie [ohgizmo]
Oct 29 2007 ISIS Puzzle Ball: Not As Tough As My Balls
The ISIS is a tricky puzzle ball that is apparently hard as hell to solve. Each one is unique, with only one solution. If you solve it you can win prizes like cash, a massage chair, and other crap.
The puzzle is a gleaming orb, handcrafted in England of a premier alloy of aluminum and constructed of precisely engineered, moveable bands. Each band is etched with hieroglyphics; the challenge is to position those bands in the right combination to unlock the ISIS. You are given 10 encrypted clues to decipher.
Let the fun begin! Then when you're pissed after a half hour pull out the trusty sledgehammer and solve that bitch real quick. Oh wait it says on the site if you damage it you're out. Who has time for a puzzle that lasts years anyways? Especially one that costs $200? There's only one puzzle I've been trying to solve for over a year, and that's how to get laid. You know, without paying.
Sharper Image [thanks to JE once again for the tip]
Oct 29 2007 Dish Stickers: Because Your Dish Is Ugly
SatelliteDishSticker.com is selling big foil stickers for your satellite dish to transform it from a hideous eyesore into a hideous eyesore with a big f'ing sticker. The two designs pictured above are the only two available at the moment, so if a sunflower or Turkish design aren't your cup of tea you'll have to wait patiently. Did I mention they cost $50? They cost $50. Which would be okay if they got you some free nudie programming. But they don't. I don't have satellite TV, so I don't really care. I have bunny ears with a piece of aluminum foil stretched between them. I make my girlfriend stand in the corner and hold them up so I can watch football. She can't cook for shit but she can hold an antennae.
Oct 29 2007 USB Blender Alarm Is Very Confused
The USB Blender Alarm Clock from Brando is in the running for the worst USB gadget. It's an alarm clock with "funky and retro design" that can be powered via USB or batteries. When the alarm goes off the unit spins its styrofoam balls and plays one of four 1970's game-show themes. Makes perfect sense right? I was all for one until I read the warning "Do not open the cover. Do not eat the balls." So the bastards at Brando were too cheap to use non-toxic balls. Figures. I was wondering how they could sell this marvel of technology for a paltry $25 and still turn a profit.
Worst USB Gadget Yet: Blender Alarm Clock [therawfeed]