Oct 12 2007 Halloween Alert: Transformer Costumes
It seems like today is theme day at Geekologie. Two shotgun posts, and now another transformer post. Whee! For those of you struggling to get a Halloween costume together, look to these guys for inspiration. Me? I already have my costume picked out, and it's clever. I'm going out as a Ninja Transformer. I start out as a ninja, and then at the end of the night I transform into a guy in a ninja costume banging a naughty nurse or sexy schoolteacher. Unless this Halloween is anything like last year. If it is I'll end up transforming into a guy with a ninja costume around his ankles, playing with himself and sobbing.
A couple more transformer costume videos after the jump, including a horrible motorcycle with broken rear wheel. Have a good weekend everyone.
Oct 12 2007 URWERK 201 Watch Is The Nastiness
The URWERK 201 is not just a watch that tells time in a unique way, no sir -- it's a watch that tells time in a unique way and probably costs more than your house. Designed to appeal to sports car buffs, this thing is ridiculous. It tells time with three hands that rotate to display the hour, and telescope to point to the exact minute (it's 3:18 in the picture). Ten are being made, and the unit must be serviced every 3 years. If you buy one I want to be your friend. Did I mention it shoots laser missiles and comes with a ball massager? Well it should.
URWERK 201 watch [ubergizmo]
Oct 12 2007 The Rack Makes It Easier To Kill Wife, Hooker
From the "I've seen it all now and can die sadly" department comes "The Rack". It's a shotgun rack that slides under your mattress so the gun lies flush with the side of your bed at all times -- because under the bed is just too far away. It costs $40 and is a real product (view commercial here, which is hilarious). I can see it now. *pumps shotgun* "I said stop pullin' the covers woman."
Bed Rifle Rack: Convenient Shotgun Access For The Modern Hick [uberreview]
Oct 12 2007 Now You Can 'Call Shotgun', Literally
Alexander Reh designed the 'Fully Loaded' chair awhile ago, but now has 30 available for purchase. You have to contact him for pricing information though (read: they're expensive). Each contains 450 .12 gauge shotgun shells, and are allegedly comfortable. If ammunition really close to your a-hole is your definition of comfort.
Two more pictures if you pull the trigger.
Oct 12 2007 Questionable Transformer Built From Citroen
Three friends spent three months in China building a large robotic looking creature out of a Citroen C2. The thing stands 15 feet tall and has been named X2. It is loosely based on Bumblebee and Jazz from the Transformers movie. They wanted to make an Optimus Prime, but said it would stand over 7 stories tall (and be a lot cooler). The legs can bend a little and the fingers move, but that's about it for transforming capabilities. Making it NOTHING LIKE A TRANSFORMER. It's a robot sculpture that doesn't do shit (except look cool).
One more after the jump, along with a Citroen C4 transformer commercial.
Continue Reading " Questionable Transformer Built From Citroen "
Oct 12 2007 Windshield Wiper Mirror, So You Can Shave
I hate getting out of the shower and ready to shave only to realize I can't see a damn thing in the bathroom mirror. If I leave the bathroom door open while I shower it helps, but then I get a cold breeze in there that makes my penis shrivel up inside me. And wiping the mirror with a towel just doesn't cut it. Enter the Bathroom Mirror Wiper. It's a windshield wiper for your bathroom mirror. I'm pretty sure you have to move it manually, which sucks. I don't like looking at myself in the mirror anyways. I'm ugly folks. Almost as ugly as my girlfriend. I'm way out of her league.
Oct 12 2007 Peek Inside An Internal Combustion Engine
I used to have one of those plastic see-through models of an engine, and it sucked. Finally someone has gotten a damn camera in a real engine so I can really see what's going on in there. The camera was high-pressure and heat-resistant, shooting at 1,000 fps, so you get some sweet slow-mo action. It was pretty much what I imagined, including how it turned me on. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to throw open the hood on the ol' Plymouth and hump something in there.
Micro Camera Shows The Workings Of A Combustion Engine [gizmodo, thanks to Rasttapas for the tip]
Oct 12 2007 Pet Finder Locates Pets, Deafens Them
The Pet Finder from GadgetsUK consists of a remote control and a pet locating siren beacon you attach to your pet's collar. When they're asleep you jam on the button, letting loose an 85db beep that's sure to help your pet on its way to an early grave. The system costs $40, has a 60 ft range, and is basically a glorified electronic key finder. Now call me crazy, but if you can’t locate your dog or cat, I think you should reevaluate whether you have an actual pet, or a wild animal living in your home.
Pet Finder - Useful And Cruel! [ohgizmo]
Oct 11 2007 Push-up Counter Is Far Too Futuristic For Me
Gotta love Japan. They make every product ever. Take this marvel of modern technology -- the push-up counter ($15). Someone must have traveled far into the distant future to snag this idea. It's a button you push with your chin every time you do a push-up. I don't understand the technology behind this, but somehow your total is displayed on an ultra high-res LCD counter that, get this, goes up to 999! Holy shit! And if you're anything like me the display will always read "1" -- for collapsing on the button and never being able to get up.
Electronic Push-Up Counter won't let you cheat [newlaunches]
Oct 11 2007 Toyota iReal Is A Wheelchair On Steroids
Is it an armchair? Is it a Hover-round? What the hell is it? It's Toyota's new mobility concept, the i-Real. The seat moves from an upright position to a lying down one depending on your speed. The thing tops out at about 18 mph, which is the max legal speed for 50cc type vehicles in Japan. If these thing makes production and come to the US, you better believe it'll need to go at least 30 mph. I'd be taking this thing to the liquor store and back all the time. In style. So what if I've already amassed a collection of DUIs on bicycles, golf carts, and ride-on mowers. I'll get one on this thing too. 'Cause I real. Real stupid. And real horrible at driving.
Toyota Pwns Segway with the i-Real [uberreview]
Oct 11 2007 Apple Laptop Catches Fire Under Bed
Jimm Lasser pushed his Apple G4 Laptop under the bed after a "late night email session". Later he was woken up by a "FFFFFffffffff" sound, which was, of course, his laptop getting ready to blow up. He called the fire department and while on the phone the damn thing burst into flames. Long story short, he calls Apple and ends up with a complimentary MacBook Pro, with warranty. Now I'm not suggesting you hasten the death of an aging Apple laptop, but you definitely should. Just don't do it under the bed -- Apple doesn't replace carpet or furniture.
G4 PowerBook bursts into flames [ubergizmo]
Oct 11 2007 The Office Collar: Mind Your Own Business
The Office Collar was designed by Simone Brewster. They're constructed of white leather, and come in a variety of shapes depending on what sort of task you're assigned.
The Office Collar has been designed in response to the open plan, working environment. The collars act as spatial isolators, narrowing the field of vision, therefore enabling their wearer to focus on the tasks in front of them.
Sure these would increase productivity at my office, but how am I supposed to get my daily fill of grab-ass in if I can't see my coworkers. I'll be damned if they take that away from me. I'll just flail my arms around, grabbing any ass I make contact with. Can't hold me down. Captain Grab-ass 1, The Man 0.
Office Collar By Simone Brewster [core77]
Oct 11 2007 Toilet House Won't Flush, Smells Like Ass
In celebration of the first General Assembly of the World Toilet Association, the founder, Sim Jae-duck had this commode house built south of Seoul. The home boasts four deluxe toilets -- whatever the hell those are, and its center has a showcase bathroom, where "the toilets have features that range from elegant fittings to the latest in water conservation devices." The Assembly's goal is to provide clean sanitation for the more than 2 billion people who live without toilets. So why they're building a giant toilet house is a mystery to me. If you happen to be in South Korea go check it out, right at the intersection of Shit Street and Urine Avenue. You can't miss it, it's the house shaped like a f'ing toilet.
One more from the ground after the jump.
Continue Reading " Toilet House Won't Flush, Smells Like Ass "
Oct 11 2007 Honda's Puyo Is Soft, Does 360s In Place
Not to be outdone by Nissan and their cute little Pivo 2 Honda showed off the Puyo (which I thought was Spanish for a woman's genitals) concept van/box thing in Tokyo this week. It has a gel-like outer shell instead of sheet metal that's supposed to be a lot more resilient and safe in collisions. The wheels are from a go-cart (okay, maybe not) and are pushed all the way out to the corners, so the car can do 360s in place. To jack up its coolness factor from 0 to 1, it has scissor-wing doors. Nice try Honda, but I wouldn't be caught dead in it. I would be caught having sex with a prostitute in it though. Because that's how I roll.
One more of the doors open after the jump.
Continue Reading " Honda's Puyo Is Soft, Does 360s In Place "
Oct 10 2007 Mac II Couch Is Made Of Macs, Will Hurt You
Have a bunch of Mac IIs sitting around and don't know what to do with them? How about making a couch? I know it's the first thing that came to my mind. I was so inspired that I made my own. But I used cinderblocks because I don't have any old Macs. And let me tell you -- it is comfy as hell. I've never slept on a couch so well. I just threw myself down on it, hit my head against the armrest, and woke up 2 weeks later. In the hospital. Coma, sleep -- same thing.
One more of a mousepad couch after the jump.
Continue Reading " Mac II Couch Is Made Of Macs, Will Hurt You "
Oct 10 2007 Working At Waffle House Isn't So Bad After All
When I first saw this I thought the guys were getting strapped in for some sort of new roller coaster ride. Well it turns out that new ride is called "The Worst F'ing Job On Planet Earth". Build a damn robot China, Jesus. What do you do for a living? I stack metal pots and duck. Thank you poor Chinese factory worker carpal tunnel bad neck guys. I will never complain again about working at Waffle House. Or about giving handjobs in the bathroom for extra comic book money. Anything is better than what those guys do.
Oct 10 2007 Vader Flashlight Is Not What I Remember
Because that last post got me thinking about the awesomeness of Star Wars, I bring you the Darth Vader flashlight. It's a flashlight that plays Star Wars sound effects when you turn the light on. It also looks like Darth Vader. Unfortunately Lillian Vernon says they're sold out and unavailable, so it may be tricky getting your hands on one. I love it, but have one problem with it -- it's not true to the movie. When Luke took Vader's mask off I'm pretty sure there was a shriveled turnip underneath and not a beam of light.
Darth Vader Flashlight [ohgizmo]
Oct 10 2007 Star Trek Casket And Urn, For Dead Dorks
Eternal Image, a manufacturer of "brand name funerary products that celebrate the passions of life" is releasing a line of Star Trek inspired products. And if Star Trek isn't your thing there's a Precious Moments line. Monuments and vaults will be available next year, along with the casket, but the urn is dropping soon.
The new STAR TREK Urn will feature a bold design reminiscent of the 24th century styling of the United Federation of Planets and Starfleet. The STAR TREK Casket styling has been inspired by the popular “Photon Torpedo” design seen in STAR TREK II: The Wrath of Kahn.
Now I'm not saying that you won't get into heaven if you arrive in one of these, but I do happen to know that God thinks Star Trek fans are dorks. Star Wars fans are straight though.
Oh, and this guy has no chance whatsoever and will burn in hell for eternity.
Product Site [thanks to storm trooper Jay for the tip]
Oct 10 2007 Detector Shirt Finds WiFi Hotspots, Not Dates
The WiFi detector shirt from ThinkGeek finds WiFi connections and displays signal strength by lighting up the blue bars. Currently, the shirt is only capable of detecting 802.11b and 802.11g signals. It runs off of three AAA batteries and will set you back $30, but they're currently sold out. I too have a clothing based detection system. Except it detects women with monster hooters. Whenever it finds one it makes my pants grow tight. Pretty amazing technology.
Product Site [thanks again to the very handsome Derek for the tip]
Oct 10 2007 Real Life External Recycle Bin, Just Because
The Tempo 250GB External Recycling Bin is exactly what it sounds like. Whenever you delete files they're automatically copied to the Tempo drive. As you throw more stuff away, the blue LEDs on the outside of the bin fill up too, indicating how much of the drive is used. While it may be useful for getting back that porno movie your girlfriend found and made you delete, I don't see much use for this thing. And seeing how I'm a government spy and all, I don't think they'd be too thrilled to find out the files I'm “deleting” are actually being stored in what appears to be a high tech coffee cup.
External Recycle Bin [craze4tech, and thanks to Derek for the tip]
Oct 9 2007 Transforming Kitchen Transforms, Is White
Grandma's Kitchen, from designers Melanie Olle and Ilja Oelschlägel, transforms from a wall into a kitchen, then into a dining room.
Designed to invoke the coziness of nanna’s best room, Grandma’s Kitchen is the ultimate example of space efficiency. The unit transforms into a full kitchen complete with a sink, oven, fridge and cooktop to prepare your meals. Then thru a series of slides and latches transforms into a dining area for 4.
I need this done in my apartment, because I'm really cramped for space in here. I don't even have a separate bathroom and kitchen. They're the same damn room. I cook sitting on the john. My wife won't come home for dinner anymore. Actually, she doesn't come home at all anymore. She left me for the guy who sells burritos out the back of his conversion van.
Grandma's Kitchen Hides A Secret [yankodesign]
Oct 9 2007 Lightning Alarm Clock Shocks You Awake
Okay, the clock doesn't actually shock you in the traditional sense. It just makes crackling and buzzing electrical noises to wake you up. It also has a little lightning show in the glass tube when the alarm goes off. It costs $60. Now call me crazy, but who the hell wants to wake up to the sound of electrical discharge? It might as well be gunfire and explosions. Stupid as it is, I'll still take it over my current alarm any day. Which is a cat licking my face with the same tongue he just used to give the other cat's a-hole a good spot cleaning.
Lightening Alarm Clock Harnesses The Power Of The Gods [uberreview]
Oct 9 2007 Vertical Soccer Game 10 Stories Up
This video is of an Adidas billboard in Tokyo where two players are suspended by ropes and kick a tethered soccer ball around. They keep calling it a "real soccer match", but I think that's debatable, seeing how it's nothing like a real soccer match. It's from 2006, so you may have seen it already. Which makes you an awesome person. But not as awesome as me, because I've actually played something very similar to this. If urinating off the top of my apartment building onto pedestrians falls in the realm of "something very similar to this".
Note: It's worth noting that at the end of the video the news reporter announces the billboard's location as "Downtown Japan."
Adidas Soccer Billboard Features Real Hanging Humans Playing [tokyomango]
Oct 9 2007 Nissan's Pivo 2 Concept Car Is Nuts
Nissan recently unveiled their Pivo 2 concept car. It has a 360-degree rotating cabin, and rotating wheels so you can parallel park by driving straight into the spot. It also comes with a friendly little robot, that converses in Japanese and English. The little bastard even has facial recognition software, and keeps tabs on your mood. If you're sad he might tell you a joke. If you get tired he gives directions to the nearest coffee shop. If you get angry you break his happy little head off and he throws sparks and catches fire, voiding your warranty.
A video of the car in action after the jump.
Oct 9 2007 Credit Card Reminder For Heavy Drinkers
The Doberman Credit Card Reminder is a device that reminds you to get your credit card back from the bartender at the end of the night. You push one of the buttons, which starts an alarm for 1-4 hours, and when the time is up it beeps and flashes it's LED. This amazing technology costs $8. I gave it a go one night and it didn't get my card back. I was so drunk I thought it's blinking and beeping meant it was time to try making out with the bartender. She broke my nose and kicked me out. She's so hot.
Doberman Security Credit Card Reminder [ohgizmo]
Oct 9 2007 Energy Bucket Collects Solar Energy, Glows
The Energy Bucket, from designer Stefano Merlo, is a bucket with a solar panel top. At nightfall the bucket uses the energy collected during the day to power it's LEDs inside. It makes a statement about energy consumption. I'm not positive what that statement is, but I'm sure it's clever. Almost as clever as the Energy Bags I created. Energy Bags are paper bags filled with dog shit. During the day they collect solar energy, which powers the turd's odor. Then at night they glow because you light them on fire. They make a statement too. A very powerful statement about your porch smelling like burning shit.
Solar-powered 'Energy Bucket' collects sunshine [inhabitat]
Oct 9 2007 Light-Emitting Wallpaper Is Cool, May Work
Jonas Samson, who may in fact be the homeless looking vagrant in the picture, has allegedly created light-emitting wallpaper. When in the 'off' position, you've got boring ass wallpaper. When 'on' you've got a funky tree or something and a bird. My only problem with this is, you know, how it works. Do you plug it in? Does it only turn on if you've done a bunch of acid? Is it really just being projected? Now I'm not saying it's a sham -- I'm just saying it's fake and doesn't exist. I want answers.
A few more after the jump.
Continue Reading " Light-Emitting Wallpaper Is Cool, May Work "
Oct 9 2007 How About A Gold & Diamonds Macbook Pro
Computer Choppers just finished work on a 24k Gold and Diamonds Macbook Pro. If you can't tell what that is from the name or picture, you may be stupid. Or an a-hole. Unlike these guys, who went the extra mile and paint matched the keyboard and re-etched it. Good looking. No word on what one would cost, which is probably good, because I'm sure it's more than I've got. Which at the moment is a pocketful of unwrapped mints.
Two more shiny ones after the jump.
Continue Reading " How About A Gold & Diamonds Macbook Pro "
Oct 8 2007 Scale Gives Your Weight In Animals
The Animal Scale doesn't have any numbers on it, just animals. It goes from baby rabbit to bear, with a bunch of other animals in the middle. It costs $49 and is available from Angry Associates. I'm probably somewhere between hog and ox. But not the woman I brought home from the bar last night. No sir. She was easily between water buffalo and wooly mammoth. I think she broke two of my ribs. Hairy as hell too. I think I'm going to puke.
Animal Scale [core77]
Oct 8 2007 Stanley Watch Has Calculator, Tape Measure
The Stanley Calculator Ruler Watch is just that -- a watch made by Stanley that adds, measures distances up to six inches, AND tells time. What functionality. They cost $62 and are available from Brando. While I can appreciate the concept, I think the final product came up a little short. I mean six inches? What good is a tape measure that only goes to six freaking inches? Sure, it's more than I need, but that's because I was at the back of the line when God was handing out penises. The time is 12:50 PM and my penis is 2 and 1/4 inches.
Product Site [thanks to Ben Hur for the tip]
Oct 8 2007 Interactive LED Coffee Table Lights Up
The Interactive LED Coffee Table, designed by Because We Can and Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories, is a coffee table with LEDs that is interactive. They are motion sensitive, and light up as you pass objects over them. When they don't detect motion anymore, the blinking slowly fades. You can purchase one for $1,990, or get a do-it-yourself kit starting at $350. I'm so glad these are available, because let's face it -- a coffee table just isn't a coffee table until it gives you a seizure.
Product Site [thanks to the very bright HelenKate for the tip]
Oct 8 2007 A High Tech Cross For Jesus Lovers
The WL777PB Blue LED Cross is a very high tech cross indeed. I mean, it has blue LEDs. Talk about futuristic. Not only that, it comes with fake diamonds and can be programmed to scroll whatever you want. They cost about $38, and are available from a Korean site that I couldn't read. I think I might get one. After all, nothing says "the devil is a punk bitch" better than a blue LED cross.
Blue LED Cross - religion needs a new message? [redferret]
Oct 8 2007 UPDATE: Life Size X-Wing Flight Video
Andy Woerner and his friends built a life size X-Wing Fighter and are going to set that bitch off on in California on October 10th. It's 21-feet long and has a 19-foot wingspan. It's powered by four Class M rocket engines (on the wings), which produce a red glow, just like the original. It will be launched in a fashion similar to traditional model rockets, but after liftoff the wings are going to open to attack position, through the use of a motor the team installed. They hope to recover the X-Wing in one piece after it's flight (via 3 parachutes). I wish these guys the best, and hopefully they'll have some sweet video available afterwards. Oh, and Andy if you're reading this, I'll happily be strapped to it for it's maiden voyage. Sure it'll kill me, but it'll be a far better death than the slow, painful one my marriage provides.
A couple more of the ship after blast-off.
UPDATE: VIDEO ADDED. Note: It is sad. The guy in the video says it best.
Oct 8 2007 Stick Chair Looks Like It Could Be Painful
Carlo Volf displayed his Stick Chair at the recent Made In Denmark exhibit in London. He actually made the chair back in 2000, but it's still drawing oohs and aahs from crowds for some reason. "The chair directly references the classic Spindleback Chair, but with a modern twist, as Volf's style reflects newness found within traditional Danish design." Not really sure what that means, because I'm not a seating expert. But to me it looks less like a good chair, and more like a horrible way to lose your anal virginity.
Carlo Volf's Stick Chair [core77]
Oct 8 2007 Desktop Mario Golfer Putts, Doesn't Drive
Mini Golfing Mario & Luigi are remote controlled desktop toys. You use the A and B buttons on a Famicom style remote to control their swings. Each comes with two balls and a practice hole. They run $25 apiece. I want one, despite the fact that they can only putt. They need to make some that can actually drive the ball. I'd never be bored at work again. I'd spend all day driving office supplies over the cubicle wall, trying to hit my coworkers. They're all dicks.
Oct 8 2007 Robot Suit Makes You Strong, Look Stupid
Scientists at the Kanagawa Institute of Technology in Japan unveiled their air-pressure robot suit at a recent trade fair. The long term goal of the technology is to strap these on the elderly to make them more mobile. For now though they're focusing on caregivers, suggesting that having such a suit would make it easier to pick grandma up if you needed to. Allegedly you can pick up a 220 lb. person, even if you're only half that. The suit weighs 66 pounds and takes 10 minutes to put on. Which means you're not picking anyone up in a hurry. So if grandma needs to go to the bathroom she'll have pissed the bed long before you've transformed into a mechwarrior.
Robot Suit Gives Elderly Super Strenght, Attitude [therawfeed]
