No matter how hard I try I always wake up in the morning. I'm getting tired (!) of it. Because leaving the bed sucks, I try to make the experience as pleasant as possible. That's where the hookers and drugs come into play. If that's not for you, then check this puppy out. It's a Hand Grenade Alarm Clock from Toyo Trading that you have to chuck at the wall (or ceiling fan) to turn off. Pretty clever eh? Yeah, I don't know about it either. I'm sticking to mine, which is two breasts you have to rub tenderly in order to turn off. It's called my girlfriend, and she always wakes me up in the morning talking about how handsome I am and how I'm the world's sexiest lover.
Grenade Alarm Clock Is Not Explosive [therawfeed]
The $22 DANGERBOMB CLOCK looks like a bomb and shouldn't be taken on flights. It's the next generation in wake up equipment that requires you to do something besides slap a button to actually turn the damn thing off. How does it work? Per the translated Amazon Japan page:
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The Orgasmo Clock wakes you up in the morning to the invigorating moan of a woman having an orgasm. Which is pretty freaking awesome if you ask me. It costs $25. I don't need one though, because I almost always wake up to a woman having an orgasm. Unfortunately it's my girl... / Continue →
This is the remote-controlled Digger D-3 "flail tank". It's the latest and greatest (read: explosive-proof) of Digger mine-detonators, which have been around since WWII. Basically, it's steered around on the battlefield like a giant R/C car tank while it wails on the ground ... / Continue →