Sep 21 2007 Head Massager Looks Very, Very Stupid
Despite this guy's best "thinking man" pose, he still looks like a complete ass. I can't quite pinpoint the cause, but I think it might have something to do with the giant bit of retarded he's got there on his head. The Head Spa, from Edmund Scientific, is a "revolutionary" head massager. It runs $50, and "the patented design is lightweight and easy to use while at your office desk, or on the morning commute." About that. Try wearing this at the ol' cubicle and see how much longer they keep you around. The last time I checked the purpose of a massage was not to look like someone who ate paint chips as a kid and got kicked in the head by a mule.
Head Massager Looks Very, Very Stupid [technabob]
Sep 21 2007 Museum Guide Robots Have Eyeball Heads
Enon is a robot created by Fujitsu that meets visitors to Kyotaro Nishimura's museum and then guides them through the exhibits. It uses arm gestures and a chest embedded LCD screen to get the job done, along with a robotic voice. The company plans to roll other service robots out in the coming years, including security and package transport models. One time my 4th grade teacher grabbed my junk when we were in the mummy exhibit at the museum. I'm not complaining or anything. Actually, I think I'm bragging. High five! Up high. Down low. Damnit, he was a dude :/
Museum Guide Robots Have Eyeball Heads [engadget]
Sep 21 2007 Knife Rest Lets Guests Know You'll Kill Them
If you want guests to know you'll kill them if they don't like the food you've prepared, try this little guy. Designed by Raffaele Iannello, and available from thinkgeek, "The Ex" is available in red or black ($70) and chrome ($100). It even comes with five knives, so you're ready to do some stabbing right out of the box. I would get one, but the doctor says I'm not allowed to have any sharp objects. The last time I had a Swiss Army knife I cut two fingers off. They weren't mine though, they were the doctor's. I'm from the old school, where you hold the thermometer in your mouth -- I don't do the whole ass temperature thing.
Knife Rest Lets Guests Know You'll Kill Them [thinkgeek]
Sep 21 2007 LaCie's New Hard Drive Is Golden
LaCie's new external hard drive will look like a beautiful golden wave glistening atop your desk. It was fabricated by Ora-Ito, a French designer, exclusively for LaCie. It packs 500 GB of storage, uses a USB 2.0 interface, and will run $189 when it drops next month. Why a plain unadorned rectangle is not enough for some people, I don't know (and I'm not the biggest fan of LaCie drives). But once I followed a rainbow to the end and there was a fat leprechaun sitting on one of these. He said it was stuffed with the porn of my wildest dreams. So I killed him and took it. It was empty, that lying little bastard.
LaCie's New Hard Drive Is Golden [gizmodo]
Sep 21 2007 Beer Pong Device Ensures A Sweet Rack
Two college kids, who I imagine are sixth year juniors, started their own company (The Founding Collegians) and created The Rack, which is a device you put the cups in when playing beer pong. It's designed to keep a perfect rack, allow re-racks, and prevent spills. I've actually played with these things before and they work (the ball holders are a nice touch). It stops those jerks who think the object of the game is to just knock cups over. They cost $15 for two. Oh, and speaking of perfect racks, the Geekologie Perfect Rack Competition is now in full swing ladies, so keep those pictures coming via the tip line. The winner gets a free me staring at their hooters.
A video of trick beer pong shots for your mindless enjoyment after the jump.
Sep 21 2007 Sleep With Your Favorite 80's Video Games
If you have trouble sleeping at night like I do, then you should probably stop passing out on the walk home from the bar. For people who sleep in beds instead of ditches, how about these guys? It's PAC-MAN and the ghost gang, along with Pooka from Dig Dug. Each are 8"-12", and plush as hell. The whole set will run you $100 from NAMCO. I ordered a set to help weed out some of the undesirables that make it to my bed. "What video game is this guy from?" "Uhhh...Sonic The Hedgehog?" "Bitch get out."
Sleep With Your Favorite 80's Video Games [shinyshiny]
Sep 21 2007 Lunar Mining Robot Looks Like Awesome Toy
Scarab, the moon miner, was developed at the Robotics Institute of Carnegie Mellon. He's an awesome little guy designed to mine "hydrogen, possibly water, and other volatile chemicals" for use at a future moonbase. I didn't know water was a volatile chemical, but whatever. It runs off solar energy, and when there isn't any, it utilizes a "radioisotope source" for power. Which is good news, because I've been waiting for an RC car that runs off decaying uranium.
[sciencedaily] via [therawfeed]
Sep 21 2007 Transformer Dress Turns Into Naked Lady!
Any Friday that starts with the tip line filled with naked ladies is a good one. So today might not turn out so bad. British clothes designer Hussein Chalayan has made dresses that transform into other dresses, and one that disappears entirely! The fun in the video starts about a third of the way through, and the finale is the real money maker. The entire dress disappears into the model's hat, making this very NSFW. You get to see everything. Which, I might add, was my first time. And awesome.
NSFW video after the jump.
Continue Reading " Transformer Dress Turns Into Naked Lady! "
Sep 20 2007 UK To Build Wave Powered Generator
The UK has approved the construction of the Wave Hub, which will be the first full-scale wave powered generator in the world. It looks like an underwater level from Mario Bros., but it actually generates electricity. Located off the coast of Cornwall, it may one day generate enough energy for 7,500 households and save 300,000 tons of carbon dioxide in 25 years. Which is impressive, but if they installed this thing in my waterbed I could power at least 10,000 homes. Because, you know, I swim in bed. Okay fine, I masturbate a lot. Practically nonstop.
UK To Build Wave Powered Generator [uberreview]
Sep 20 2007 Movie Screen Hides In Your Bookshelf
Italian designer Matteo Ragni has developed the Fly Shelf with Integrated Projection Screen. It's a screen for your projector that hides in a bookshelf. The size shown is about 67" wide, so you're not going to get any super big-screen action, but the idea is great. A 10 foot bookshelf might look weird though. Of course, anything would probably look better than my current hidden projection screen. Which is a Dukes of Hazzard bedsheet I keep under the couch. That the cats pee on.
Movie Screen Hides In Your Bookshelf [gizmodo]
Sep 20 2007 Start Your Own Dinosaur Park!
Remember when you were a kid and really wanted a pet dinosaur? Remember how you never really grew out of that and still do? Well now you can. You can go with this bad boy, and now, these guys. They're a happy family of Stegosaurus, with the adult measuring approximately 28 feet. Which is bigger than my trailer. They cost $21,000 including shipping, which makes them worth nearly 8 times my trailer. But I don't care -- I already have real live pet dinosaurs. Because, well, I'm an expert when it comes to having sex with prehistoric beasts.
Sep 20 2007 Homemade 25mm Sniper Cannon
These kids have overprotective mothers that won't let them play with real guns, so they decided to build their own out of PVC. The gun "boasts a two-and-a-half-foot barrel that is one inch in diameter, has custom bolt-action mechanism, a modded sprinkler valve as the primary firing valve, and a $40 sniper scope." There is an instructables online if you want to make your own, but I suggest you don't, because that would make you a dork, like them (and these guys). Potato guns are fine though, because I made one. There's a video after the jump, featuring the gun shooting a CO2 canister THROUGH a cardboard box! All the way! It goes ALL THE WAY THROUGH. That's power. Wow. I mean, wow. I think I felt a little movement in my pants. Wait, no, cat crawling up my leg.
Video after the jump.
Sep 20 2007 Free Ride Pen Gives No Complimentary Rides
Designer Jean Pierre Lepine (like pen!) has developed the Free Ride Pen. It is an expensive ass writing instrument that reminds me of the thing aliens ram in my exit hole whenever they pick me up for studies. It costs $175.
The Free Ride is designed to be different, ergonomic, and fun. This push top ballpoint features a soft rubber like material in the vital sections where finger meets pen. The arched hull is held in place by hand drilled screws. As Lepine puts it, “I create tomorrow’s writing instruments for today’s men and women”.
If this is tomorrow's writing instrument, I don't know how I feel about the future anymore. I thought it was supposed to be flying cars and robots, not $175 ass probes that double as pens. I don't remember seeing this thing in Back to the Future II. Screw it, I'm getting drunk and passing out somewhere.
UPDATE: One more picture after the click.
Continue Reading " Free Ride Pen Gives No Complimentary Rides "
Sep 20 2007 Horn Speakers Are Huge, Fugly
If you live in a castle and have all the room in the world for two monster mid to high-range speakers, then the Ferguson Horn Speakers may be for you.
The Ferguson Hill Loudspeakers are full range units from 150Hz - 20KHz, with no crossover, however, a sub bass unit is required below 150Hz. They reproduce music with a high level of clarity, detail and dynamics, are highly efficient, and will go loud with just a few watts (5 watts).This allows their use with relatively low powered amplifiers further increasing the level of clarity obtainable, from such relatively 'simple' amplifier circuits.
Yeah, so yeah. Curious about the cost? Try $20,000 a pop. I probably won't even make $20,000 in my lifetime. And if I do I'm not spending it on a fugly speaker. No sir, I'm gonna blow it all on booze and hookers, like any red blooded American would. I'm very patriotic you know.
Horn Speakers Are Huge, Fugly [ohgizmo]
Sep 20 2007 Holographic Vaio Zoom Notebook Concept
The Vaio Zoom notebook concept was created by designer Eno Setiawan. The idea is that the notebook is entirely holographic. When off, the screen is clear glass and the keyboard is an expansive of beautiful black shine. When you turn it on the keyboard, screen, and mouse buttons are displayed as holograms. I think the thing looks beautiful as hell, but damnit, it's a concept. Just like the majority of other concepts, it doesn't work in the real world. It's like the concept for the woman I want. She's a supermodel, great cook, nymphomaniac, doesn't nag, can rest a beer on her head, has no teeth, and loves watching sports. See, she's a concept -- she doesn't exist in reality. That's why I live in my grandmother's attic with a bunch of cats. I've given up.
One more picture on the flipside.
Sep 19 2007 About Time Clock Isn't Accurate
The About Time Clock, designed by Buro Vormkrijgers, doesn't tell accurate time, and costs $170.
This innovative clock reveals the passing of time by rolling around your desk and telling time in one long continuous sentence. Designed in reaction to our stressed lives, where we tend to plan our daily activities to the minute, this clock simply tells you "It's about six o'clock" or "it's almost seven now". While rolling around your table, the slow but constant, almost meditative motion allows you to relax and maybe even forget about time for a few minutes.
What in the hell kind of hippie crap is that? If I'm two minutes late turning in a report, it's my balls on the chopping block. Minutes do matter. Who needs a clock that rolls off your desk and onto the floor anyways? The only way this thing could be useful is if it read "it's about time for you to get an f'ing clock that works, because I'm just a rolling piece of crap."
A closeup after the jump.
Sep 19 2007 Stun Gun Prevents Unwanted Calls
If you're tired of people at the bar asking to borrow your cell phone to make calls, well here's your chance to fight back. The Immobilizer 900,000 volt stun gun looks like a really crappy cell phone with a chintzy background, but packs a punch. It also has 12 LEDs so you can examine the damage you've done after dropping a would be phone borrower/attacker. It says it has two levels of safety to prevent accidental shocks, but I'm sure you can get around that. "Sure you can use my phone." ZAP. "HAHA, you deserved it -- get your own damn phone you burnt toast smelling ass cheapskate."
Stun Gun Prevents Unwanted Calls [newlaunches]
Sep 19 2007 Star Wars Personal Theater Is Cool
Vic Wertz and Lisa Stevens, who used to run the Official Star Wars Fan Club, had this home theater made to resemble the control deck of the Death Star. It was designed by Doug Chiang who was the lead designer in Episodes I and II. All the stars are lit up via LEDs, and the massive DVD collection is hidden behind a Han Solo in Carbonite door (which could be made of turds and be better than this one). Throw in a golden bikinied Princess Leia chained to the chair and my privates would be in hyperdrive.
One more after the jump.
Sep 19 2007 Geltec Beta Gel Is Pretty Amazing
The video shows a raw egg being dropped from 72 feet and landing on a small pad of Geltec's Beta Gel. The egg doesn't break. It's amazing. And it's from a Japanese show, which makes it that much better. Although I think having a person jump off would have been a tad more impressive, I'm still not complaining. Where the hell was this stuff when we had the egg drop contest in grade school? Well, I guess it wouldn't have mattered anyways because my fat lab partner kept eating all the eggs they gave us. You know, I wonder what Miranda Big Stuff is up to these days.
Geltec Beta Gel Is Pretty Amazing [gizmodo]
Sep 19 2007 Urban Cup Holders Can Get You Killed
I usually just set my damn beer on the sidewalk if I need to stop and kick someone's ass on the street, but apparently that's not good enough for some people.
The aim of the urban cup holder is to encourage people to reinterpret street settings and claim them as their territory, instead of just using them as a means of passage from A to B. The cup holder is easily clamped with one hand to posts in the street, then used as a coat/bag/umbrella hanger and a drink holder. In turn, giving the user a feeling of control and creating a more personal space, a temporary territory.
Um, I'd like to see you go and "claim some territory" with these things over where the gangs like to hang out. Use their colors too, maybe they'll let you join. "Oh don't mind me, just mounting my latte to this pole for a minute while I reposition my vagina." Did I mention they cost $15? They cost $15.
Urban Cup Holders Prevent Burns [ohgizmo]
Sep 19 2007 Coca-Cola Introduces Self-Chilling Bottle
Coca-Cola, a company best known for putting narcotics in their soda, is rolling out a new technology they hope will take the industry by storm. Self-chilling bottles! That's right, you twist the top off, and presto, the inside of the bottle chills your drink to a pleasant temperature. They don't want to scare anyone away from their current beverages in case these things start exploding (or taste like ass), so they're going to drop 'Sprite Super Chilled', which will probably suck. Just like the clear colas from the 90's. What they need to do is apply this technology to the beer in my car, and make the commute to and from work, uh, even more dangerous.
Sep 18 2007 Crown7 Cigarette Isn't Really A Cigarette
It's less a cigarette and more an electronic nicotine delivery system, seemingly an updated version of this thing. It doesn't produce any smoke, but does hit you with nicotine. It costs $100, and five replacement cartridges run $10. Each cartridge is allegedly the equivalent of two packs of cigarettes, so if you've ever wanted to OD on nicotine, I'd say this thing is your best bet. Neat idea, but I'll just stick to my Sherlock Holmes pipe. Because nothing says "I'm all class" like puffing on a pipe and ogling the ladies through a monocle.
Product Site [thanks to Chris, a man who the ladies find smokin', for the tip]
Sep 18 2007 Talking Photo Album Steals Your Voice
This talking photo album, from Vat19, uh, talks. You can record a 10 second statement for each of the 24 photos in the album and then listen to them while you're reliving the memories. It costs $20, and isn't that bad of an idea if you plan on dying. I'm getting one to set on the coffee table for visitors. "On the next page is a picture of my testicles, don't look if you don't believe me. HAHA! You turned. You are so gay, those are my balls! Those are them! They're attached to me. Sucker! Now put down the album because the next page has private pictures of my girlfriend. Seriously, stop. HAHA! Gotcha -- you turned again! More balls! Whee!"
Sep 18 2007 Japanese Card Game Looks Awesome
Not totally sure how it works or if we'll ever see it anywhere but Japan, but damn does this thing look like Magic on acid. It's a video game released by Taito at a recent arcade game show in the land of the rising sun. Apparently the touchscreen is interactive, and responds to the cards you place via RFID recognition. If anyone has any more information, or can make better sense of the translated page, feel free to add. All I know is I need one. I haven't had a good game of Magic in a long time. Mostly because I don't have any friends. That, and my freaking dog eats the cards when he loses. Poor sport.
A few more after the jump.
Sep 18 2007 Delicate Touch Robot Hand Plays Nice
Intel scientists working at a Seattle lab have developed a technology they're dubbing "pre-touch", which consists of a number of electric-field proximity sensors. These sensors are used to determine the conductive properties of an object prior to touching it, to help assess what kind and how strong a grip is necessary. Just imagine that dangling ball in the picture to be, well, your testicles (or female equivalent). Now do you want that sexy robot hand to bear down on you like vice grips, or would you prefer the gentle caress of a spring breeze, and maybe a little tickling action? Exactly. If you answered one you're a sicko.
Delicate Touch Robot Hand Plays Nice [therawfeed]
Sep 18 2007 Homemade Pigeon Deterrent Scares Birds
This guy set up a motion activated sprinkler to keep pigeons from crapping up the ledge between his pool and hot tub. While I can understand this working in a garden by spraying animals before they eat something, I question its use here. I mean the first thing I do when I think I'm being shot at is empty my bladder and bowels, then cry. I'm sure the pigeons do the same. His only hope is that each individual bird learns it's lesson. *BANG* Not again. *sniffle, sob*
Homemade Pigeon Deterrent Scares Birds [gizmodo]
Sep 18 2007 Magical Basket Mirror Baffles The Mind
Daniel Rozin's Weave Mirror looks like a flat piece of basket on the wall. But it is actually a magical mirror to another dimension.
The mirror is an assembly of 768 motorized and laminated C-shaped prints along the surface of a picture plane that texturally mimics a homespun basket. A seemingly organic smoky portrait comes in focus to the sound of clacking steps made by the sculpture’s moving parts. The Weave Mirror paints a picture of viewers using a gradual rotation in greyscale value on each C-ring.
I have no idea what all that means, but I'm pretty sure it's just a cover-up for the portal to hell they've opened in that basket. Whatever you do, don't touch the image that appears. Because, uh, I saw my doppelganger once and had to kill him because I heard if you don't then you die. Turns out it was just a guy dressed similar. I still think 30 years is a little unfair.
Magical video after the jump.
Sep 18 2007 Guys Can't Drive Halo Warthog
The guys from Weta Works built a replica of the Warthog from Halo, and now there's a video of some dudes from Bungie driving it. No word on what was used, but it looks pretty sweet. The only problem is none of them have a damn driver's license, as is evident when they slam into the side of the building. I was kind of hoping the guy in the back would fly out and get run over, but today's not my day. I do want it though, and I'm gonna pull up to my neighbor's house and threaten to rain hell if he doesn't cut the damn grass and keep his weeds from spreading. Crazy old bastard.
Guys Build Halo Warthog, Can't Drive [techeblog]
Sep 17 2007 World's Most Expensive Chair Is Shiny
This piece of crap chair, which is set to fetch between $1.6 and $2.4 million at auction next month, isn't worth it. It was made in 1986 by designer Marc Newson, and nicknamed the Lockheed Lounge. It's kind of like a clawfoot bathtub, an airplane, and a moster jelly bean had some kind of seriously f'ed up threesome and this was the resulting lovechild. Oh, and it doesn't look comfortable. If you have the money for this thing, email me, and I'll sell you a cooler chair made out of all my vital organs for the same price (heart included).
World's Most Expensive Chair Is Shiny [gizmodo]
Sep 17 2007 Gun Shaped Blow-Dryer Is Stupid
From the "because everything is cooler in the shape of a gun, particularly items you regularly point at your head" department comes this blow-dryer. It's a hairdryer that looks like a gun, comes with either a blue or pink handle, and costs $40. You control the power of using the hammer, which moves into four different positions. Did I mention this was a bad idea? If you're thinking this is cool and you'd look hot drying your hair with it I suggest you come over to my place first, and I'll show you how cool you'd look with all your teeth kicked out. Um, you know, because you won't.
Gun Shaped Blow-Dryer Is Stupid [gizmodo]
Sep 17 2007 Motion Portrait Animates Still Photos
Motion Portrait takes a single photograph and digitizes it while extracting 3D information so that it can be animated. Right now the animation options are pretty limited, and it reminds me of this thing, but I see the potential. Soon you'll be able to take a digital picture of yourself, upload that bad boy to your favorite porno movie, and then watch yourself have the sex your hand can't provide. Oh, and if the picture is any indication of quality, the program does less conversion to CG, and more conversion to smack addict.
A video after the jump showing the transformation.
Sep 17 2007 McDonald's Offering Cell Phone Ordering
Because standing in line and ordering in person is analog and burns too many calories, a Korean McDonald's is experimenting with a new cell phone ordering system. Customers plug special RFID devices into their phones, and then browse the menu, pushing buttons to order food. When your order is ready, you receive a text message, notifying you it's time to pack on some weight. I don't even see the purpose for this. I doubt it saves very much time, and it's probably a pain to scroll the menu on a damn phone. And how do you pay? Thanks but no thanks. I only use my cell phone for what it was meant to be used for. Those sexy talk text messaging services.
McDonald's Offering Cell Phone Ordering [therawfeed]
Sep 17 2007 USB Shaver Is The Opposite Of Brilliant
Connectland's USB powered rechargeable shaver is just that, a damn USB shaver. Now I buy everything that has USB in the title, so of course I own one, and I've got to say it is not awesome. It is the opposite of awesome. If awesome were a supermodel, this thing would be my girlfriend. It costs $20, and doesn't even have a damn beard trimmer. Now I like shaving at the office as much as the next guy, but this thing just didn't work out. I was only a quarter done with my privates when the boss asked what I was doing in his office standing over the waste basket. I was quickly the opposite of hired.
USB Shaver Is The Opposite Of Brilliant [uberreview]
Sep 17 2007 Triops, The Throwable Digital Camera
German designer Franziska Faoro has developed the Triops digital camera, which is a digital camera with three fisheye lenses. It can take panoramic photographs, or be thrown to take really blurry photographs. Yes I said thrown. You're supposed to toss it around for "an active, spontaneous and playful photography experience." It responds to sound and movement to take pictures, which are wirelessly transmitted to a separate display unit. Franziska is still searching for a manufacturer to produce the unit, so we'll see what happens. Of course if it goes anything like the "throwable audio equipment" I invented, I think it's safe to say these won't be hitting shelves anytime soon. Just the floor. And breaking.
Triops, The Throwable Digital Camera [yankodesign]
Sep 17 2007 Army Testing Balsa And Foam Humvees
In an attempt to cut weight on Humvees, the Army is testing models made with "fiberglass, balsa wood, foam and carbon reinforcements all held together with resin. The body of the tan composite prototype has a sandpaper feel. The fenders are pliable and can be easily bent by hand, flipping back into place when released." The 900 pounds cut from the vehicle are going to be added back in the form of extra armor and mine-blast protection. Now I'm not too familiar with the strength of mine blasts or explosions or anything, but I do know that the last time I built a vehicle out of balsa wood the wings broke off in an hour and then the whole thing disintegrated when it rained.
Army Testing Balsa And Foam Humvees [therawfeed]
Sep 17 2007 Scary Robot Face is Scary, Ugly
The WD-2 scary robot face from Tokyo University can allegedly transform to look like anyone. It has a projector in the rear so it can project video of your face and expressions to make it even more frightening. It has "17 facial points, for a total of 56 degrees of freedom," and is made from a "highly elastic and rigid (!?) material called Septom, with bits of steel wool mixed in for added strength." Neat concept, but I feel sorry for the poor bastard whose face was used in the picture, because that may very well be the world's ugliest mug.
Two crazy videos after the jump, one of the face changing, one with projection.