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$19,000 VPI HR-X Turntable

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The VPI HR-X Turntable by TEAC is a turntable that features a new belt-driven design that comes with a 50-mm thick platter which actually floats on an air suspension system at 45rpm. And I have no idea what that means, but it costs a whopping $19,000. And it's not like this is some super new audio technology, all it does is play records. Old records. Like the kind your grandpa listens to. Anybody with enough money to actually buy this thing might enjoy this game I invented. It's called "Give Me All Your Cash." Basically you give me all your cash, and then I throw a party. It's very fun.

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