With summer fast approaching, it's probably time to shed that extra weight with some standard virtual horseback riding exercises. Panasonic has released the "JOBA horse riding fitness equipment," which uses "3-D virtual reality technology" to imitate horseback riding and increase physical strength. This fitness program will tone those flabby abdominal, side, thigh and back muscles all from the comfort of an included electronic saddle. For the competitive virtual horse riders, you'll be comforted to know that the bridle bar and stirrups are indeed included. My guess is that this idea developed when a designer's mom stumbled upon her son's hidden saddle collection. It's safe to say that an exercise system based around a leather mask with a ton of zippers is not that far off.
Researchers in San Antonio have developed a new non-lethal weapon to help break up mobs, riots, and those bothersome peaceful demonstrations. The weapon dispenses a "super-slimy" substance that causes rioters and vehicles to lose traction and slip wildly about. The weapon uses an airbrush-like dispensing nozzle and a backpack with cylinders that contain compressed air, water, and a finely ground polyacrylamide powder. The dispensing nozzle fires individual streams of water and powder at the crowd, which mix in the air and douse the crowd in the slimy substance. Unfortunately, this device will only add to the effectiveness of the far too common oil wrestling sit-ins and Slip 'N Slide-based protests.
South Korean scientists have unleashed their first android upon an unsuspecting populace. EverR-1 is a humanoid robot that can understand speech, speak responses that are synchronized with the movement of her lips, blink with her eyes, and move her arms and hands. Ever-1 can also make detailed facial expressions ranging from joy to sorrow and happiness to anger, an emotion Korean robot manufacturers seem to enjoy. The lower half of her body is currently immobile, but her creators are planning to give her the ability to sit and stand by the end of the year. Other improvements will be to continue to up her creepiness level until not even innocent kids care to caress her lifeless face.
Sensatex, a leading electronic textile company, has initiated a Beta launch of its flagship SmartShirt System. The SmartShirt measures and transmits a wearer's heart rate, movement, and respiration rate using a conductive fiber grid that is knit into the material of the shirt. The shirt could eventually be used to remotely monitor the health of senior citizens, outpatients, training athletes, truck drivers, and soldiers. An additional idea would be to make a little SmartShirt sweater for your cat. That way, when you leave your cat alone for a few weeks, you can remotely check on him to make sure he's still doing okay. Swap out the word 'cat' with 'neglected toddler,' and the concept still applies.
LED Signs on Toronto's subway cars were flashing messages implying that Canada's prime minister "eats babies." The electronic advertising system, which usually displays transit updates and advertisements, started flashing the phrase "Stephen Harper Eats Babies" every three seconds late last week. The transit commuter system was forced to shut down the screens on Monday in order to repair the problem. Stephanie Sorensen, spokesperson for the transit system, announced that they "assume" it was the work of a hacker, and it "appears" to be a case of electronic vandalism. She followed that announcement by saying "We'll probably never find out who did this, and we should probably stop looking. Also, we'll never figure out who spray painted 'Stephanie hates Harper' all over the train cars, so let's all just move on with our lives."
I'm sure you were excited when you found that you could customize your car's wheels with LED pictures, but what about people people whose only mode of transportation is by dirigible? The Lightships Group has them covered with the A-170 Video Lightsign Airship. Measuring 30 feet by 70 feet, the color screen can broadcast "live TV, internet sites, stock tickers, slide shows" and marriage proposals from guys just too lazy to actually ask their fiances. This blimp ushers in a new age of advertising where "flying electronic billboards" crowd the sky and giant videos of Paris Hilton eating a cheeseburger eclipse the sun. I think we can all agree that the night sky will be much more beautiful when it's filled with videos of monkeys talking on cell phones.