Boomer is a new tennis robot that vastly improves on the current tennis ball machines. Instead of just firing balls randomly at its opponent, Boomer has the ability to serve, return, play out a point, call the lines and the score, rate the quality of shots, and even "talk trash." Using a computer and a camera setup, Boomer tracks the location of the tennis ball in the court. If the human opponent makes a shot that's in, boomer will reply with a "realistic" return. This continues until the human or robot makes a mistake, or when the human attacks the robot for its nonstop insults. Boomer's skill level can be changed from beginner to world champion, and it costs approximately $14,450. If you can't find an actual person to play tennis for $14,450, I suggest you take up a less social sport like solitaire or vandalism.
A professor at the Waseda University in Tokyo has revealed his cure-all solution to the nation's growing elderly care problem: a pair of wobbly robotic legs. The two-legged robot is being developed by the university to provide transportation up stairs and inclines for the elderly and handicapped. It stands a unsteady four feet high, and it is controlled by two joysticks on the armrests of the chair it supports. If elderly people have a hard time getting around on their own, wouldn't it be reasonable to assume that they'll have a hard time controlling a giant monstrosity of gears and hydraulics? I'm definitely not looking forward to the day when old people start trampling parked cars and busting through walls. Or am I?
The New Kitakyushu Airport in Japan is experimenting with robots that carry baggage and people to and from their flights. These 'porter robots' are box-shaped machines that move around the airport under the control of the passengers or on predetermined courses. The robots are currently being used on a trial basis, and there are plans of adding arms and heads to the robots before launching them. Remember, this story only applies to the New Kitakyushu Airport. If a robot approaches you and runs off with your luggage at any other airport, it's probably just a homeless guy in a cardboard box robot costume. The difference between the two is subtle, but it's there.
If your speaker system fails, why not make some new speakers out of a few spare hard drives? The linked tutorial shows you how to do just that, using modified hard drives to produce speaker-quality sounds. The sound is created from the rapid vibrations of the heads and platters in the hard drives, which are controlled by a simple audio amplifier. The tutorial even mentions that this type of modification isn't limited to hard drives, but rather anything with an electric motor. I suggest you make some speakers out of the motor in your neighbor's Prius. He might be angry at first, but when his car starts pumping some solid party jams, he's bound to cool down and start dancing.
Do you strive to add more consequences to the embarrassment and shame that accompany your constant arm wrestling losses? If so, you might be interested in picking up the Shocking Arm Wrestling Kit. To use the kit, you simply attach the included glove to your wrestling hand, place your elbow on the pad, and arm wrestle as usual. When the loser's hand and glove hit the table, they're hit with a lethal electric shock. No wait, not lethal. Small. A small electric shock. You might pass this off as a cheap novelty, but remember, the only way to reconnect with your son is to make it into that national arm wrestling competition in Las Vegas. You need as much practice as possible.
Tombstones are about to enter the digital age, my friend. Vidstone is offering the Serenity Panel, a solar-powered 7" LCD panel that can be placed on a gravestone, mausoleum, or columbarium. The Serenity Panel will display a five to eight minute photo slideshow detailing "the most precious memories of your loved one's life" and fully creeping out everyone who happens to pass by on the way to less haunting memorials. The product sounds suspicious, and judging from the picture, Vidstone is actually the ghost of a company that died four years ago. The only ghost companies I trust employ Peter Venkman.