Matrox Graphics has revealed a new product that can increase the amount of monitors on your Windows-compatible computer. If your computer meets the requirements, you will only need to plug the TripleHead2Go into your machine to bathe yourself in the warming glow of up to three monitors. Of course, we all know that it takes three (3) monitors to make you forget just how alone you really are. To be released in April, this product is a surefire way to spend hundreds of dollars on more monitors.
As people get lazier and lazier, we rely more and more on robots. What happens when the robots that we trust don't live up to their duty? Well, we get better robots with cameras and sensors and a thirst for human blood. With this in mind, Korean robot manufacturer (and harbinger of the robot apocalypse) Hanool Robotics has developed Ottoro, a robot vacuum that will directly compete with the popular Roomba. Ottoro comes with 30 sensors, the ability to vacuum corners, and 2 cameras to keep tabs on its pitiful human "owners."
Wilcom is releasing a new version of their powerful W-ZERO3 smartphone on March 8th. The phone will have all of the same capabilities as the old W-ZERO3, including a 3.7 inch touchscreen, 416MHz processor, 64MB of RAM, MiniSD slot, and 1.33 megapixel camera. In fact, the only change that they are making to this model is the special silver color which, Willcom implies, will better target the female market. Willcom feels that women are only interested in the silver color, and I disagree. Women are usually interested in monster truck rallies, drunken knife fights, snakes, and fighter jets. If Willcom could somehow incorporate those into a phone, I bet even your mom would buy two.
NaturalNano is a nanotechnology company that is currently developing a paint that will severely diminish cell phone and RF signals. Through patented technology, the paint can be activated and deactivated so it only blocks out cell phone signals at specific times. Cell phone companies are already voicing their concern, as am I. How am I supposed to call out and tell my friends what a blast I'm having during a movie, a funeral, or a meeting with the Pope when there's all this paint all over the place?
NEC has introduced a new product that will replace the standard time-card punching machines that were all the rage in the 1950s. The NeoFace takes a picture of you when you start work in the morning and allows access to a locker room. The machine then keeps track of how long you've worked, and it can decide whether or not you are allowed to get your clothes and leave. The under-the-desk cam and hidden employee shower camera attachments are obviously sold separately.
Acme Systems is shipping a new computer case in the shape of the Linux penguin mascot "Tux." This computer case is perfect for convincing members of the opposite sex that you'll never be ready for a relationship with anything other than a plastic penguin computer. Unless you're just a big penguin buff with the sultry voice of Morgan Freeman. If so, well, then you're golden.