European scientists have managed to combine living brain cells and silicon circuits, finally allowing me to add "electric brain monsters" to my list of reasonable fears. The Neurochip uses special proteins that bind to neurons and create successful channels for communication. Although this technology is in its early stages, the researchers are hoping to use it for treating neurological disorders, screening drugs, and creating "living computers." I think I speak for everyone when I say that I'm really looking forward to having a giant oozing mass of tissue on my desk right next to my monitor.
Chicago's Exotic Coach "limosuites" company has begun advertising their new LimoJet, a limousine made from a customized personal jet whose wings have been clipped. The LimoJet accommodates 16-18 passengers, and comes standard with 30" custom chrome wheels, 42" plasma television, 4 additional flat screen televisions, 4,500 Watt stereo, realistic jet sounds, and disco ball. The LimoJet should be available to rent in the next few months, although it is not known whether or not they have secured a "SOULPLN" vanity license plate.
Ipifini has introduced "programmable liquid container" technology that is sure to make us all pay $20 when we just want a damn bottle of Sprite. The technology consists of special buttons on the soda bottle that inject flavor, caffeine, and "paint" into the soda. Depending on the buttons that the consumer presses, the soda can take on one of many different types of flavor and colors. Completely unbiased co-inventor Glenn Wachler states, "providing choice at the point of consumption creates tremendous advantages for the consumers as well as the manufacturer." With advantages that tremendous, I hope they start selling the buttons separately. Just a few caffeine buttons placed directly on my arm and I'll finally be able to cut sleep completely out of my life.
Dub Wheels has released Pimpstar, a product that is aptly described as a "huge leap forward in the evolution of the wheel." The Pimpstar line incorporates full color LED lights and a microprocessor into each wheel of your car, allowing you to display images, text, graphics, logos, and photos on the wheels themselves. You can update the images while you drive, and since each wheel has its own microprocessor, you can display different images on each wheel. It's obivious. Four wheels. Four Golden Girls. What else can I say?
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Samsung has applied for a patent titled "Cellular Phone Having Spraying Apparatus" which may or may not drastically increase the amount of interesting smells emanating from your phone. The patent basically outlines a special perfume cartridge that can be placed in a cell phone. You should be able to interchange the perfume cartridge when it's empty, and the patent mentions the possibility of spraying different perfumes based on a user's preference. They outline a few uses on the site, one of the most obvious is assigning different smells for each of your contacts. Thanks to this technology, we'll all get to spend hours trying to create a smell that really defines Grandma.
ABC News has a story about the various animal robot experiments of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). It seems that DARPA gets so much of your tax money, it has nothing better to do than throw it at random animal robot projects. Some examples? Well, they have previously placed money in remote-controlled shark spies and bomb-sniffing insect soldiers. Right now they are interested in building robot lobsters. That's right, robot lobsters. They need a robot to sweep the ocean floor for mines and buried bombs, so they went with a delicious-tasting crustacean as their inspiration. On the topic of DARPA's future projects, the article states "we're going to have an army of dolphins and robotic bears attacking the enemy anytime soon." That quote might have been preceded by "I wouldn't interpret that to mean," but I really can't say for sure.