Microsoft has introduced a new style of PCs targeted at consumers who would rather play solitaire instead of watching their kids play soccer. The Ultra-Mobile PCs, or UMPCs, is a line of tablet-style computers with displays no larger than 7". The UMPCs themselves will be manufactured by different companies, but they will all run Windows Tablet PC 2005 and have WiFi and Bluetooth connectivity. The UMPCs will also have full multimedia functionality, allowing you to watch movies and listen to music on a giant block of plastic. I really don't think you should call something ultra-mobile when it requires its own carrying case. Now, I'd say watches are ultra-mobile. Why don't you do something with watches, Microsoft? Oh, wait... (Photo courtesy of Reuters)
How many times have you looked at your floor and thought, "damn, I wish there were swirling puddles of color down there." Regardless of whatever substance you might have been on, you actually came up with a marketable product. In fact, Italian company B Lab was probably on the same controlled substance when they created the Living Floor, a series of floor tiles with colored liquids that change and morph when weight is applied. These tiles are sure to keep kids, those shaggy gentlemen who live down in that empty church, and the elderly occupied for hours on end.
The electronics industry has turned a corner, my friends. No longer must you traverse the planet with shoes that don't drop the occasional funky beat. Dada footwear has announced their MP3 playing shoes at the extravagant and popular World Shoe and Accessories Show. Although the press release is a little unclear, these shoes supposedly use USB to store 100 songs safely away in the tongue of the shoe. The wearer has the choice of playing the music directly from the shoe's speakers or through a pair of wireless headphones. The press release even notes that you can stray 30 feet from the shoes without losing reception from the headphones. Why you would walk 30 feet from shoes this nice is beyond me.
Chopper Computers is releasing a computer that will appeal to everyone with a 1997 Girls of Harley Davidson calendar currently on their wall next to their Budweiser mirror. The Chopper One demonstrates "EXTREME" styling with authentic motorcycle frames, tanks, and seats. It also features "open-air design," which means of its computer parts are hanging out all over the place. The computer is water-cooled from a reservoir located in the gas tank, eliminating noise, and allowing you to make your own engine noises uninhibited. The "poll of the day" currently asks what addition you would like to see to the Chopper Computer. Unfortunately, "the dignity you lose after spending your Saturday nights sitting on your computer's motorcycle seat" is not an option.
TomTom has announced that they will offer software updates for their GO GPS line. One of these updates is TomTom Buddies, which will let you text message your TomTom-using comrades, browse their points of interest, and, most importantly, keep track of where your friends are. TomTom has also announced support for audiobooks and traffic announcements, but let's be serious, tracking the exact locations of your friends and loved ones is what is really needed. Thanks to TomTom, you'll be relieved to find that your girlfriend only spends some of her time at those bars down by the airport. Why she spends the rest of her time at your buddy Steve's apartment is another question in itself.
Chalking up another product that will never make it into your hands, Samsung has announced a 10 Megapixel camera phone at the annual festival of technological overindulgence, CeBit. The SCH-B600 has the usual array of features for a digital camera: 3x optical zoom, auto-focus, self-timer, flash, 2.2" TFT display, as well the usual features for a high-end cell phone: music playback, image browsing capabilities, Bluetooth, voice recognition, microMMC memory card storage, and DMB satellite TV reception. Considering that consumer cameras barely reach this mark, we can expect the price of this phone to be exorbitant. I'm sure it would be much cheaper to hire a caricaturist to come to your house and draw pictures of your friends unconscious, without pants, vomiting, unconcious and vomiting without pants, or in any one of other embarrassing situations that you usually catch with your cameraphone. (Photo courtesy of Reuters)