BOWTIE SOLD SEPARATELY.
This is a Dr. Who themed TARDIS corset. You cinch it up real good in the back, and it makes you look slimer. "Like the Ghostbuster's pet?" YOU KNOW I MEANT SLIMMER. Etsy seller Corsetwonderland is selling the thing for $225, so if you want it, go and get it before some other busty lady beats you to it. You wanna know what my favorite part about it is? It's one of those corsets that doesn't cover up your taytays. *bouncing manboobs* Isn't that right, guys? You guys like to be free, don't you? Yeah you do. *licks nip, gets hair in mouth*
Thanks to Speakerbag, who agrees the best corsets are the ones made out of same material as fairy tales: pure imagination.
Because what fun is sitting back and enjoying a game, Korean gamer Yoshichan beat Diablo 3 in 12 hours and 29 minutes with "368 Lifetime Kills, 412 Elite Kills and 168,481 gold as a Barbarian on normal difficulty". Since then, at least two other groups of Korean and Chinese gamers have done it in 7. Wow, this is NOT how you get your money's worth. Just saying, I'm 52 hours into Skyrim and haven't even made it to Whiterun yet. Are there really even dragons in this game?
Thanks to Bruiser, who tried to tell me he beat it in six but when I asked for a screenshot he sent me a pic of a dude's wiener.
This is a video from the helmet-cam of Marcelo Gutierrez as he barrels down the stairs of Monserrate Mountain in Bogata, Columbia as part of the RedBull Devotos de Monserrate 2012 race. It kind of made me motion-sick to watch. Motion-sick AND feel like a sissy. Because there is no way you could get me to do that. One time I tried riding over the curb onto the street and wound up with a face that looks like overbaked lasagna. Plus two of my teeth went down a sewer. I tried training a neighbor's cat to go down there and get them for me but he said he couldn't find them even though the next day he was sporting this big ol' beaver-looking grin.
Hit the jump for the video but maybe line your computer seat with some old newspapers or something first.
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According to scientists who've spent way too much time in the dark studying cave art and not nearly enough time looking at privates, this is the world's oldest known artistic etching. One of a vagina. Personally, I don't see it, and that's saying a lot because I can usually find privates in anything. One time I went cloud-watching and counted OVER 9,000.
The new discovery, uncovered at a site called Abri Castanet in France, consists mainly of circular carvings most likely meant to represent the vulva. The carvings were etched into the ceiling of a now-collapsed rock shelter about 37,000 years ago, researchers reported Monday (May 14) in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Female genitalia, please, it sounds like you've never seen a naked lady before. Granted I'm no expert on the subject and can only speak from my limited viewing of scrambled Cinemax movies, but that is not a vagina. It looks like an upside-down power symbol. "From 37,000 year ago?" *wink* "Why are you winking at me?" *wink* "Stop it." Aliens, bro. Meet me after dark and I'll tell you everything they did to me.
Thanks to Joey and lovehandles, who weren't surprised at all to discover the first thing a human drew was a vagina. Really? I thought it would have been a wiener. They're so weird but so fun to doodle!
In news that shouldn't surprise anyone who's worn an eyepatch for a week straight pretending to be a pirate, doctors in Australia are now claiming a haircut that covers one of your eyes makes that eye lazy because it doesn't do anything but stare at your stupid hair all day long.
Optometrists Association of Tasmania education director Andrew Hogan warned that amblyopia, the medical term for lazy eye, can result from obstructed vision caused by hair.
"If a young emo chap has a fringe covering one eye all the time, that eye won't see a lot of detail," he said. "And if it happens from a young age, that eye can become amblyotic."
Want a cool emo haircut but not a lazy eye in ten years? Here's what you do: punch yourself in the face as hard as you can. Don't stop until you don't want the haircut anymore.
Thanks to bb, who agrees the best kind of haircuts are the ones that make your hair smell good. No? That's the shampoo and conditioner? I did not know that.
Man, if there's one thing I love it's destruction. Sometimes I build a whole bunch of those crappy little birdhouse kits just so I can smash them to pieces with a hammer. It's a sickness -- one I have zero interest in curing. This is a time-lapse video of Youtuber Flippycat building sixty 990-piece (I lied in the title!) domino walls over the span of 65-hours, then knocking them all down. I noticed in the video Flippy uses a big plexiglass wall to protect the other towers from crumbling while he's working on the most recent one. That's probably smart. It's also probably cheating. I demand a do-over!
Hit the jump for the rainbow of destruction.
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In "things you'll wish were real when you're 85" news comes this Imperial Walker walker for old people who need a little support getting around. Me? I need a lot of support. So much I have to go to groups for the stuff. Man, I have got PROBLEMS. "No f***ing kidding you do." My therapist says it isn't about who's to blame, but this is clearly all your fault. I'll kill you! *stab stab stab*
Thanks to The Sass Queen, whose bad side you DO NOT want to get on unless you like that fresh 'you just got the shit sassed out of you' feeling.
This is MIT grad student Charles Guan and his Chibikart, a 26MPH electric go-cart inspired by the ones from everyone's favorite N64 drinking game, Mario Kart. Now I'm not sure what 26MPH feels like when you're that close to the ground with nothing between your face and a wall except your own knees, but my guess is invigorating. Reminds me of the first time I was ever shot out of a cannon. I wound up in the hospital with three broken ribs, two broken arms, and one giant f***ing smile. Don't tell my mom, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
Hit the jump for a video of Charles speeding around in the thing like he's trying to win Rainbow Road.
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