Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Questionable: Air Umbrella Repels Rain With A Jet Of Air


Remember that conceptual Air Umbrella I posted back in 2012? Well now somebody else has stolen/come up with the exact same idea and created a Kickstarter to make the product a reality. And they've already met their funding goal too, which means $128 will get you your very own Air Umbrella in December of 2015. Will it work? Probably not. I mean, they SAY it will, but I don't think it will (plus the battery only lasts 15-minutes). I think you're gonna get soaked. Still, it might be fun to play with in the shower. I don't even carry an umbrella, I just carry one of those white kitchen trashbags with two eye holes cut out. I should probably cut a mouth hole too, because I got light-headed and almost suffocated on the bus last time it rained. I'm just afraid somebody might mistake me for some sort of ghost sex doll and try to put the moves on me.

Keep going for their Kickstarter video, footage of the thing in stationary action at the end.

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How To: Draw Near Perfect Circles With No Extra Tools


This is a short instructional video from Dave Hax showing how to draw near perfect circles with no extra tools. Basically you just keep your hand stationary and pivot the paper around your hand. You can use different pivot points on your hand to draw different sized circles. It's as simple as that. Me? I've drawn so many cartoon titties in my day I can draw a perfect circle without any tricks AND WITH MY EYES CLOSED. *closes eyes, drawing* Well? "That's a penis." That's just how good I am, I've moved past circles.

Keep going for the video.

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Gunman Plays Star Spangled Banner On Musical Targets


In news that's sure to give Ted Nugent a giant flag-waving boner, this is a video of a man with a gun performing the Star Spangled Banner on musical targets (which are available for purchase HERE). He does a good job, but I would have liked to see it done a little quicker. LIKE WITH A MACHINE GUN. Personally, I don't trust myself enough to own a real gun, but my buddy Terry and I bought air rifles and sit on his back porch drinking beer and repeatedly shooting a soda can until we tear it in half. It's really a glorious feeling when it finally comes apart. Honestly, with a steady supply of beer and deviled eggs, I'm pretty sure that's my dream world.

Keep going for the video.

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Kickstarter For A Real-Life Magnetic Field Hover Board


This is the Kickstarter for the Hendo Hoverboard, a board that can hover about an inch off the ground using four magnetic field inducing engines. THE BOARD ONLY WORKS ON NON-FERROMAGNETIC SURFACES THOUGH (i.e. sheets of copper or aluminum). That's the drawback. And a pretty serious drawback considering sidewalks are made out of concrete. Still, it's a real hoverboard and $10,000 will get you one on 10/21/15 (the day Marty McFly arrives in the future). Don't have $10,000? Me neither. But $100 will get you a 5-minute ride, $1,000 will get you an hour-long ride, and $299 will get you a developer's kit containing a box with one of their engines so you can tinker with the thing yourself. You can read an Engadget reporter's experience getting to try the board HERE in case you still weren't convinced it's real. Me? I'm holding out for a hoverboard that works on any surface, INCLUDING water. I'm not sure what kind of technology it's going to take to work, but rest assured I'll probably have to sell my near-virgin butthole to an alien to get it.

Keep going for their Kickstarter video, which includes some hovering action.

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I Want Those: Giant Pikachu And Snorlax Pillow Beds


These are giant Pikachu and Snorlax pillow beds (previously: this Snorlax beanbag chair). The Pikachu one weights 33-pounds and is allegedly available from this website for around $371. The Snorlax one was a custom order from this Etsy shop and may or may not still be available for purchase. I really want the Snorlax one but would SETTLE for the Pikachu one. Which would be like only getting the second thing on your Christmas list. You're not thrilled about not getting number one, but you're still thankful Santa overlooked the past year's indiscretions enough to not get anything a stocking full of elf shit.

Keep going for a couple more shots of Pikachu (including one of a girl modeling it like Mindy from The Mindy Project after she took drugs in the episode about trying anal) and Snorlax.

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What Men Versus Women Search For On P0rnhub


This is a chart created using P0rnhub's anal-ytics showing what men versus women search for most often (links to P0rnhub's article with an even further breakdown that you might not want to click on since it is hosted on their main site). I learned a lot. Mostly that thinking about p0rn kinda makes you want to look at it. Thankfully, I'm at work and they have all that smut blocked here. I saw the calendar in the lobby this morning advertising that the office has been masturbation-free for over five months now. That they know about -- HIYO! (I can masturbate with my mind like Professor X)

Thanks to my buddy C-Nasty, who prefers adult pay sites that cater specifically to his perversions.

Chainsaw Prank w/ Legless Guy As Disembowed Victim


If you haven't already seen it, this is a prank video utilizing a legless man to play a dissembled chainsaw massacre victim. It is f***ed up. I feel like these Youtube pranksters have really gotten out of hand lately. I mean, somebody's going to have a heart attack eventually, and that's gonna be on you. *wiping down ninja sword* I hate to sound like the voice of reason here, but everybody I've ever killed deserved it.

Keep going for the video, it's kinda graphic though so maybe tell your kids to go clean their room or something before you watch it.

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Outerspace Gas Cloud Has Enough Alcohol To Keep Us Each Drunk On 300,000 Beers/Day For A Billion Years


In what may prove to be the most epic beer run of all time, scientists have determined that gas cloud G34.3 in the constellation Aquila has enough alcohol to provide 300,000 beers to every human on earth for a billion years. Obviously, I've already punched the cloud's coordinates into my spaceship's autopilot system and loaded the payload bay with junk food.

With a diameter 1,000 times that of our whole solar system, G34.3 has enough alcohol to give 300,000 pints of beer to every person on Earth every day for the next billion years.

American astronomer Ben M. Zuckerman discovered ethyl alcohol, the main kind of alcohol found in alcoholic beverages on earth, in interstellar gas for the first time in 1975.

G34.3′s massive alcohol content, however, remains unprecedented in a celestial body.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Probably not." I was thinking about how cool it would be if, instead of water, it rained ALCOHOL. But then I got to thinking about how all the grass and trees would probably die and maybe it's for the best that I have to buy it from the store. For the record though, I'd still pay good money for a shower with the cold water supply replaced with beer.

Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he plans on poisoning the entire gas cloud so anybody who tries to drink from it will die. WHY?!