Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Insane Mechanised Wooden Desk With All Sorts Of Secret Compartments Built Over 200 Years Ago

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In they sure as hell don't make them like that anymore news, this is an ultra-impressive wooden desk with all sorts of mechanized, moving parts and secret compartments. I LOVE secret compartments. It was built over 200 years ago without the use of any power tools. Probably because power tools didn't exist 200 years ago, but that's just a guess. Honestly, I started drinking at lunch and have just been watching videos at my desk until my boss leaves so I can get out of here for the weekend. Will he give me a last minute assignment to finish before Monday? PROBABLY. Will I tell him where he can shove that assignment? After I see him out the window heading to his car I will! I'm a badass and I don't take shit from anyone.

Keep going for the worthwhile video.

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Fly-By Of New Star Wars Millennium Falcon Complete With Batmobile Easter Egg

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This is a fly-by of J.J. Abram's Millennium Falcon for the new Star Wars movie. Apparently J.J. and Batman v Superman director Zack Snyder like poking fun at each other via Twitter (I guess that's how you get your kicks when you're a rich, successful director instead of hunting humans like I suspected), so he included a little Batmobile attached to the underbelly of the Falcon at the end of the video. No word if the Batmobile Easter egg will appear on the big screen, but I certainly hope not because that would totally ruin the realism of the entire Star Wars galaxy for me. "Seriously?" No, I don't care. I'm sure I seem opinionated, but that's only because I have to type words to fill these boxes. In reality I care so very little about so many things. Opinions are like @$$holes: everybody has one, but you really don't wanna hear anybody else's. Especially not some stranger's on the bus. Man, there was a guy sitting in front of me the other day with an opinion that sounded WET.

Hit the jump for the video. Hit me to get hit back even harder.

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Brain Tumor Successfully Removed From Pet Goldfish

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10-year old George the goldfish is doing swimmingly following a 45-minute procedure to remove a brain tumor (links to whole story with pictures of the whole process). Because apparently that's something that can be done. Next stop: turning the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back into regular turtles.

Dr. Tristan Rich of the Lort Smith Animal Hospital in Melbourne said George, a 10-year-old goldfish, underwent surgery last week to remove a brain tumor that was "affecting his quality of life" and the fish is now "swimming happily in the pond."


Rich said the 45-minute procedure, which cost the fish's owner about $180, was tricky because he had to be "very careful about blood loss," with the fish only able to lose about half a milliliter of blood -- about .02 of an ounce -- safely.

Pets: people love them. Even fish. Hell, even rocks. I used to have a pet rock that I carried around with me everywhere I went. Until one day *sniffle* he just ran away. "You threw him through a neighbor's window." I SAID HE RAN AWAY.

Thanks to someone who left the name field blank when sending their tip, who's apparently too humble to take credit for anything.

I Need That: A Box Of 2,400 Krispy Kreme Donuts

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To celebrate their new donut delivery services (WAIT -- WHAT?!) in the U.K. (dammit!) Krispy Kreme baked up a special double hundred dozen box of their original glazed donuts. That's 2,400 donuts. And apparently one lucky company is going to win all these donuts, although hopefully sooner than later because the half-life of a donut is like 8 hours. One time I ate a 4-day old donut from Dunkin' Donuts. Never again. Fine, I'd do it again, but I'd have to be just as hungover and the box would still have to be mostly closed like when I dug it out of the trash last time.

Keep going for one more shot.

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FOX News Features Video Of Guy Smoking A Bowl In His Car During Segment On Phone Use While Driving

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FOX News 7 in Austin Texas used some quality B-roll footage of a guy smoking a bowl in his car during a segment on texting while driving. No word if they thought he was doing something else, but it's pretty hard to confuse a guy smoking a bowl in his car for anything but a guy smoking a bowl in his car. That's not a f***ing text message shooting flames.

Keep going for the video, 420 blz3 at 1:04 (video should start near there).

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Teen Working At Pizza Joint Arrested For Rubbing His Balls On Customer's Pizza IN FRONT OF HIM

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Picture related: Pizza with nuts on it.

18-year old Austin Michael Symonds was arrested after a customer caught him rubbing his balls on the pizza he had just ordered. Apparently Austin was pissed the customer had placed an order right before closing, and decided to take matters into his own hands scrotum. Although why he was rubbing his balls on a pizza where a customer could see him is beyond me. Generally speaking though, the people who will rub their testicles on food to spite someone aren't the brightest.

Brent Bradley told cops that when he arrived at Papa Murphy's pizza in Georgetown, a city 25 miles north of Austin, he spotted worker Austin Michael Symonds "rubbing his testicles on the pizza he had ordered," according to a criminal complaint detailing the September 2 incident.


When confronted by the customer--who was there to pick up a large stuffed pie with Canadian bacon, pineapple, and extra cheese--the 18-year-old Symonds immediately apologized. "Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid," Symonds said, according to the complaint.

Bradley then asked Symonds how old he was. After the teenager answered that he was 18, Bradley said, "So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone's pizza." "Yes," said Symonds.

Man, caught red-handed red-balled, that sucks. Thankfully for Austin's testicles though, he worked at a Papa Murphy's, which sells take-and-bake pizzas instead of already cooked ones, so there was no chance of burning his change-purse on the pizza. Although maybe that would have been for the best. You scorch your nuts once and you'll think twice before dunking them in somebody else's French onion soup.

Thanks to GIBB, who agrees if you really want to rub your nuts on something, make it a soft towel after a shower.

Butterfingers: Perth, Australia's First iPhone 6 Owner Immediately Drops Phone During Interview

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Jack Cooksey was Perth, Australia's first person to get his grubby little mitts on the new iPhone 6. So what did he do? Accidentally drop the thing on the concrete trying to open the box during a television interview. Thankfully, the phone survived unscathed. No word if Jack is unemployed or if the company he works for understood his need to camp out for a new phone, although I have my suspicions.

Keep going for the video interview.

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Anti Internet-Censorship Group Selling Vladimir Putin And Kim Jong-un Cat Scratching Posts

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These are the Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un cat scratching posts sold by The Pussycat Riot, an advocacy group of cats against cyber censorship created by the folks at HideMyAss.com, which provides virtual private network services for online anonymity. And as cool as either one would be to have, they cost £4,500 (~$7,400) apiece, making it far cheaper to print out a picture of Putin or Jong-un's face from the internet and tape it to an existing cat post. Thankfully, they also sell £3 (~$5) litter boxes with the faces of various internet censorship friendly world leaders printed on the bottom so your cats can shit all over them. All money will be donated to charity. ALLEGEDLY. It's easy to say you're GOING TO donate money to charity, it's a lot harder to actually DO it. "We're going to -- we want to stop internet censorship." And not just line your own pockets with money? "Correct." Seriously?! "YES." Okay I'm still waiting for you to wink at me.

Keep going for shots of the Kim Jong-un one.

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