Jul 30 2010 This: What It Looks Like When You Cut Open 32 Glowsticks And Flush Them Down A Toilet
Note: Video is after the jump because this isn't a f***ing rave (unless you have some rolls, in which case let me grab my pacifier and turn on Winamp's visualizer).
This is a video of several college freshman emptying 32 glowsticks into the back of a dorm toilet and then flushing it. Normally I'd make fun of them, but it's actually pretty awesome. Granted not as awesome as if they'd flushed a handful of M80's simultaneously, but we are dealing with a bunch of virgins who would rather flush glowsticks down the shitter on a Friday night than chase ladies. Hoho -- looks like I did it anyways! Now back to your rooms before I call the RA.
Hit it for the very worthwhile video (also great on mute).
Jul 30 2010 How To: Make Your Own Portal From Portal
Here's what you do: 1) Buy an oval mirror, two shades of blue modeling paint, and some rubber cement. 2) Huff the shit out of the rubber cement, then try your best to 3) paint the rim of the mirror to look like a portal. D) Hang it on your bedroom wall and E) get a friend really drunk on the Jagermeisters and convince them to try jumping through it. 6) Charge them for repairs, tripling -- no -- QUADRUPLING the cost of everything 7) Profit 8) ??? Dididoitrite?
There's a before shot after the jump just in case you have a hard time imagining what a blank oval mirror, some blue paint and a brush look like.
Continue Reading " How To: Make Your Own Portal From Portal "
Jul 30 2010 Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet Toy: All The Rage At Comic-Con, Now On eBay
Apparently this Hot Wheels Invisible Jet toy began life as an April Fools' joke but I don't remember hearing about it because I don't even know if I remembered to take my vitamins this morning. At any rate, it became a Comic-Con exclusive and suckers lined up to pay $5 for the empty box (it just looks like there's a plane inside because of the molded plastic packaging), and now the things are selling like hotcakes on eBay. I swear, people will collect anything. Which reminds me. Hello, Japan? I'm in the market for some -- how should I put this -- orn-way anties-pay. Huh? Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. WORN PANTIES DAMMIT! YOU'VE GOT EM AND I WANT EM!
eBay Listings
via
Hot Wheels Wonder Woman Invisible Jet Now on eBay [uberreview]
Jul 30 2010 What Do You Get When You Cross A Zebra With A Donkey?
That wasn't actually a joke. You get a zedonk. Half zebra, half ass, 100% honky-tonk-zedonk-a-donk. I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave! Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap yo' gradma!
A zedonk, an unusual cross between a donkey and a zebra, is attracting attention at the Chestatee Wildlife Preserve in Dahlonega after being born there about a week ago. The animal, which has a zebra father and donkey mother, has black stripes prominently displayed on her legs and face.
C.W. Wathen, the preserve's founder and general manager, said the foal has a zebra's instincts. Wathen said she sits up instead of lying on her side, as if she's staying alert for predators.Donkeys and zebras don't usually mate, but zedonks turn up occasionally.
You know what else usually don't mate? Humans and horses. Then how do you explain the centaurs? Somebody really wanted a pony growing up (and has daddy issues).
Zedonk hybrid born at Ga. wildlife preserve [yahoonews]
Thanks to Morgan, who's trying to mate badgers and donkeys to breed bad-asses.
Jul 30 2010 It's Easy!: How To Become A Superhero
Just follow one of these simple steps. Me? I'm going to find Mjolnir AND learn magic. You think that'll make me a super-superhero? Because I'm not against some government testing to get the job done. Am I, govt. boner pills? I'm still stiff! And I took them in '07.
How To Become Super [geeksaresexy]
Thanks to April, who may or may not date Casey Jones. OMG pleaaaase introduce me to Michelangelo.
Jul 30 2010 I See What You Did There: Earbud Packaging
Panasonic decided to jazz up their packaging a little and is selling their new RP-HJE 130 earbuds in this cleverly designed box. As you can see, the earbuds are placed in the package in such a way that they look like a, uh, half-wheelchair with jet engine armrests? Yeah I don't actually get it either.
Panasonic Gets A Gold Star For Earphone Packaging Design [ohgizmo]
Thanks to Carsten, whose voice is like music to my ears. Provided music makes me want to cover my ears with my hands and scream "LALALA -- I CAN'T HEAR YOOOOU!"
Jul 30 2010 How To: Hide Your Lady-Toe With Camelflage
Camelflage panties are women's underwear with a piece of plastic (or something) sewn into the crotch that prevents the panties from forming a highly undesirable camel-toe (similar to the Cuchini). Wait -- those aren't cool anymore?! *untapes wiener from between buttcheeks* Per customer testimonial:
I am OBSESSED with my panties and will be ordering more next week. Two pairs just won't cut it with my workout schedule....I love my Camelflage!!! Thanks to you, the guys at the gym were staring at the games on TV and not at my crotch!!!! Also, it protects the lady parts on the bike seat.
Whoa whoa whoa -- BIKE SEATS HAVE LADY PARTS?! I may never drive again!
Thanks to BanAna, who doesn't need Camelflage because she invented an invisibility cloak. Well damn, smarty pants!
Jul 30 2010 Sticky Business: Packing Tape Spider Web
This is a giant-ass spider web made entirely out of packing tape. Like, nothing else. No glue, no popsicle sticks, no rubber bands, just packing tape.
Packing tape has gotten MacGyver out of many a jam, but he never managed to make an entire home out of the stuff. So he could probably learn something from Viennese/Croatian design collective For Use/Numen. The team uses nothing but packing tape to create huge, self-supporting cocoons that visitors could climb inside and explore.
At the last installation inside Odeon (above), a former stock exchange building in Vienna, the group used nearly 117,000 feet and 100 pounds of tape.
Oh man, just imagine: you're climbing around in there, laughing and pretending you're a trapped fly, when all of sudden -- REEK! REEK! REEK! -- that little freak from the Exorcist comes spider-walking down the web towards you. I don't know about you, but I'd totally shit myself have no choice but to exercise her ass. ON THE ELLIPTICAL, DEMON-SPAWN!
Hit the jump for several more pictures and a worthwhile time-lapse of the web being constructed.
Continue Reading " Sticky Business: Packing Tape Spider Web "
Jul 29 2010 Of Course, The One Thing I Love Is Killing Me: Beds May Emit Raditation, Cause Cancer
Wonderful news: apparently my only remaining love in life might be slowly killing me. That's right -- box-springs may act as giant radiation-spewing antennas, filling our bodies with the nasty while we sleep. And all this from trying to figure out why breast cancer is 10% more likely to appear in the left boobie than the right. GOD, JUST TAKE ME NOW! *eying margarita on nightstand* Whoa whoa whoa, not so fast big guy -- I've been saved.
The research, carried out by Hallberg Independent Research and the Karolinska Institute, both in Sweden, attempts to correlate the fact that most people tend to sleep on their right side and that the length of a box spring mattress in America is exactly the right length to make it act as an amplifier for FM and TV waves.
"Thus, as we sleep on our coil-spring mattresses, we are in effect sleeping on an antenna that amplifies the intensity of the broadcast FM/TV radiation," writes Scientific American. "Asleep on these antennas, our bodies are exposed to the amplified electromagnetic radiation for a third of our life spans." The radiation would be the strongest almost a meter above the surface of the box spring, which would mean that the side of your body that you're not sleeping on would get hit the hardest. In most cases, that'd be your left.
Sounds pretty convincing, doesn't it? Too bad it's all fake research. I've got two words for you: Tempur-Pedic conspiracy. Kidding, I'm not really one of those crazy conspiracy theorists (It's those asshats over at Sleep Number and I know it!).
Great, even our beds could be causing cancer [dvice]
and
Your Boxspring Could Be Acting as a Gigantic, Cancer-Causing Radiation Antenna [gizmodo]
Jul 29 2010 Megatron, Is That You?: Metal Puzzle Block Transforms Into A Fully Functional Firearm
What you're looking at is a 125-piece puzzle block that, when disassembled and reassembled properly, becomes a .45-caliber firearm with all the accouterments, including laser sight (pics after the jump). Now transform and shoot out! *bang!* Oooor just blast yourself in the leg.
Michigan machinist GarE Maxton makes many different types of interlocking solid puzzles of this type, this time, he made a Puzzle Pistol, a single shot 45 caliber muzzle loading pistol, called the Intimidator. The Intimidator Puzzle is composed of over 125 pieces made from brass, bronze, copper, aluminum, magnesium and steel. Once diassembled, about 20 of the pieces can be recombined to make a functioning single-shot pistol. Other parts of the puzzle separately and securely store "a customized set of tools, all necessary hardware, 45 caliber bullets, a standard sight, a laser sight, a cannister containing black powder pellets, a secure storage area for 209 shotgun primers, a spent primer removal tool and a ramrod for loading the bullets."
Amazing! Granted not as amazing as it would have been if it turned into a Chinese finger trap, but I still give it a 9/10. What do you mean it deserves a 10? But you're the only 10 in my book. I'm kidding you dirty 4!
Hit the jump for two more worthwhile pictures of all the pieces dissembled, and a shot(!) of the gun.
