These are the X-Wing and TIE Fighter engagement rings designed by Paul Michael Design (of Wonder Woman, Pokeball and Triforce ring fame). Because, just like Beyonce sings in that one song, "If you liked then you shoulda put a X-Wing on it". Please, somebody just come break my nose, I deserve it. "And so much worse." Wow, really? I'm not self deprecating enough that you actually feel the need to join in? I'd take a good long look at myself in the mirror if I were you. Then turn the lights off and spin around chanting Bloody Mary until she appears and steals your soul. Clearly it was a dickbag soul anyways.
Keep going for the TIE Fighter.
Continue Reading →
Note: Two-year time lapse video after the jump.
Fourteen years after the last turdy drop dropped, the 87-year old pitch-drop experiment at the University of Queensland has seen its 9th drop, with 25,000 people tuning into the live webcam feed to watch it happen. Wow, these are truly exciting times we live in. I'm kidding, I'm bored as hell and hoping for a meteor strike. "Where?" Like, right in the face.
This comes after the last three drops were all accidentally missed, even as recently as 2000 when a power outage actually made the already-present webcams lose power at just the wrong moment. People definitely caught it this time, but since a pitch takes so dang long to actually drop, the precise time that it touched down is still under review. That's important for the online viewers of the drop, since those who were watching at the precise moment the drop was recorded will have their names preserved for posterity.
What's more, the drop was never in free-fall. It simply collided with the 8th drop, which fell in 2000 and took most of the last 14 years to tip over...Still, that pitch flows at all is impressive, considering that its viscosity is 230 billion times that of water.
If you're not familiar, the experiment was conducted to prove that coal pitch, which appears to be a brittle solid that can be shattered with a hammer, is actually a liquid with an extremely high viscosity. So...can we stop watching now? It drips, we get it. Let somebody else have a shot at the 'world's longest running experiment' title. Also, I love how the 25,000 people watching the live webcam when it dropped get their names recorded for posterity. That's some honor! I'm kidding, that's 25,000 people who really need Netflix.
Keep going for a two year time-lapse of the slowest, most agonizing shit in history. Come on, just pound some hot sauce and get it over with.
Continue Reading →
This is a dead nose-horned viper found in Macedonia with a centipede poking its nasty little head out the hole it ate through the snake. Dammit Mother Nature, I thought we talked about this! Don't make me tell Father Time you've started drinking again. BRUTAL DETAILS:
The unfortunate nose-horned viper (Vipera ammodytes) was a young female that stretched about 2 inches longer than the centipede (7.9 vs. 6 inches, or 20.3 vs. 15.4 centimeters), the researchers wrote last month in a brief report published in the journal Ecologica Montenegrina. But the centipede (Scolopendra cingulate) was actually heavier than the snake, tipping the scales at 114 percent of the snake's body weight (4.8 vs. 4.2 grams, or 0.17 vs. 0.14 ounces).
A dissection revealed that the snake's visceral organs were missing, or in other words, "the entire volume of its body was occupied by the centipede," the scientists wrote. For this reason, the researchers think it's possible the snake's dinner tried to claw its way out, destroying the viper's internal organs along the way, before eventually dying.
You know what I suspect really happened here? A competitive eating competition gone wrong. I bet all the vipers were hanging out seeing who could eat the biggest centipede when this shit hit the fan. Then all the other vipers panicked and ran (technically slithered) before the turtle police could show up, which took almost a week. PROTIP: If you can't predict the future don't even bother calling the turtle police for help.
Thanks to sean and Lila, who agree millipedes are far less terrifying than centipedes, but I wouldn't want to find either one in my bed at night.
If a pizza and spaghetti had sex their baby would be lasagna. What? It's important to think about these things. If some dude and spaghetti had sex, the spaghetti would not get pregnant, and hopefully the pervert burns his pecker in the marinara and learns his lesson (go for the pizza next time). This is the pizza cake, an entry in Boston Pizza's 'Pizza Game Changers' competition. The (predominately Canadian) pizza chain claims the pizza product with the most votes will be made a reality. Obviously, this will be the winner by a landslide, and become all the rage at birthday parties and weddings. Alternatively, buy six pizzas from anywhere and stack them yourself. You could be eating your own pizza cake tonight! Me? It's hard to say what I'll be eating tonight, but I can almost guarantee it'll be eaten on a street corner between bars.
Thanks to TBTMH, who agrees the best pizzas are New York style sloppy greasers that have to be folded in half and will still collapse if you don't hold it with two hands. And to dr venkman, who insists Chicago deep dish is best. Hoho, let's argue about it over some slices.
The US government's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) has commissioned two companies to build a hybrid, all-terrain stealth dirt bike with an engine that makes little to no noise. I must have one. The bears will never hear me coming.
The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency has issued a grant to integrate a multiple fuel, hybrid-electric power plant into a dirt bike built by BRD Motorcycles. The hybrid electric engine will be built by Logos Technologies.
"Quieted, all-wheel-drive capability at extended range in a lightweight, rugged, single-track vehicle could support the successful operations of U.S. expeditionary and special forces in extreme terrain conditions and contested environments," said Wade Pulliam, manager of advanced concepts at Logos Technologies. "With a growing need to operate small units far from logistical support, the military may increasingly rely on adaptable, efficient technologies like this hybrid-electric motorcycle."
Why does the US government REALLY need stealth dirt bikes? I'll tell you why -- to spy on me and the rest of my wizard friends when we're out LARPing in the woods on weekends. They want to learn the secrets of our magic. *GW casts force-field of the forest* Haha -- nice try, government! *casts cloak of invisibility, poops in leaf pile*
Thanks to Greg L, who is hard at work developing a stealth 4-wheeler with a machine gun turret to take his paintball game to a whole new level.
This is 'Epic Pen Spinning', a video of pen spinners Ian Jenson and PPM spinning the everliving shit out of some pens. It's worth a watch, even if you just skip around. These aren't cheap Bic pens though, these things are PRECISION BALANCED WRITING INSTRUMENTS. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Does it involve your ass?" Maybe. "Does it involve what one of these would feel like up there?" I'M TIRED OF SHARPIES.
Keep going for the video.
Continue Reading →
Because who hasn't ever dreamed of big-spooning a body pillow with a sexy cartoon Captain Kirk on one side and Spock on the other, Etsy seller IdentityProductions is making all of our wildest dreams come true with this $50 pillow cover. And by 'our wildest dreams' I mean 'your wildest dreams', because I am not into dudes. And by 'dudes' I mean 'these dudes', because I could dry-hump a Captain Picard/Geordi La Forge body pillow till all the stuffing came out.
Keep going for one more shot.
Continue Reading →
This is a picture and video of Highway N329 in Holland. 500-meters of the highway's exterior lines have been painted with glow-in-dark paint, a corroboration between artist Daan Roosegaarde and Dutch civil engineers. Heck yeah, now paint me some glow-in-the-dark lanes to the refrigerator and shitter so I don't have to turn on any lights at night (or pee in the wastebasket by my bed).
Glowing road markings are just scratching the surface of Roosegaarde's ideas for constructing "smart highways." His team hopes to develop giant road markings, such as snowflakes, that appear on the road when the temperature drops to a certain level. Other conceptual alterations include driving lanes that can charge electric vehicles, and dynamic lane markings that shift from dashed to solid lines based on traffic.
Admittedly, those sound like great ideas. Of course it would take decades for any of those to ever be implemented in the US because our road and highway systems are a disaster. They won't even fix the potholes in my neighborhood and they're like, deep enough to eat a children's bike. Still, it would be pretty cool to pretend you're in TRON. Make driving like a video game and people will pay more attention, that's my motto. Jk jk, it's, "Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better." I'm lying again, it's, "Get drunk, stay drunk, try to forget."
Keep going for a video of a guy driving the highway.
Continue Reading →