Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Parents Give 'Secret Treasure Room' To Son For 4th B-Day


This is the secret treasure room that parents Sarah Goer and her husband gave their son for his fourth birthday. They knew about the secret room connected to his bedroom for years, but kept it hidden from him with a dresser while they had it remodeled to present to him on his 4th birthday. Man, I wish I had a secret treasure room. This kid is lucky. What's he gonna get for his next birthday, a functional rocketship? "You're just jealous." Of course I'm jealous, this kid's only four and has a secret treasure room bigger than my apartment. I can reach the stove from my bed. WHILE SHOWERING.

Keep going for a couple more shots of the finished product.

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Modder Packs Nintendo Into TMNT Party Wagon Toy


This is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Party Wagon toy that pro modder Platinumfungi fitted with a functional Nintendo system. The controllers were painted by Custom NES Guy. They both did amazing jobs. So good, in fact, that I'm willing to offer my firstborn son for the system. Here, take him. "He isn't yours, is he?" Hell no, he's my sister's -- I've just been watching him while she's out of town for a few days. She'll be mad for awhile, sure, but she knows how much I love ninja turtles and Nintendo.

Keep going for a bunch more shots.

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They're Taking Our Bakery Jobs: Robotic Cake Decorators


This is a video from Unifiller showing off their line of robotic cake decorators. They can ice a whole cake AND add the little swirl and dollop decorations, pretty much rendering that sweet old lady at the grocery store obsolete. That's cool, I'm sure she has plenty of other job opportunities waiting for her. I'm kidding, spelling your friend's names wrong on cakes is all that poor old lady has left. YOU'RE KILLING HER.

Keep going for the video to find out if they can make icing carrots. SPOILER: they can! And they look like turds.

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Of Course You Did: Man Pays $350 For Lap Dance, Calls Police When It Doesn't Include Sex


53-year old Montana resident and moron William McDaniel called the police after paying $350 for a lapdance and realizing complimentary sex was not included. For reference, that's $350 too much to pay for a Montana lapdance, sex or not.

[McDaniel] called police after paying a Sage Brush Sam's dancer $350 to perform a private lap dance. McDaniel assumed that fee included sex, and called police when the dancer refused to engage in sexual activity.

Police responded and charged McDaniel with a misdemeanor charge of soliciting prostitution.

According to KTVQ, this is not McDaniel's first run-in with the law. He has previous convictions for felony DUIs and criminal possession of illegal drugs.

Listen -- 53-years old is entirely too old to not know lap dances don't include free sex, even if they do cost $350. What is this, the first time you've been to a strip club? Or just the first time you've managed to save $350? Hell, I've spent double that on a lap dance before and the girl didn't even take off her overalls. Nebraska: never again.

Thanks to neolardo, who informed me sometimes there isn't even CHAMPAGNE in the champagne room.

Game Of Thrones With Audio Removed, Oldschool Video Game Sounds Added



This is a series of clips from Game of Thrones season four with the audio removed and oldschool video game sound effects added in its place. Wow, who even comes up with this stuff? THEN PUTS IN THE EFFORT TO ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH AND MAKE IT? That is like, way more dedication than I have ever had in my life. One year I was determined to make all A's and B's for a semester in middle school. "And?" DROPPED OUT.

Hit the jump for the video and delete 2-minutes from your life.

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Lizard Wearing Cowboy Hat Riding Tortoise Like A Horse


Because this is the internet and the internet is magic-- "But I though friendship was magic." Friendship is a black magic SPELL. Besides, who said you can't have more than one thing that's magic? My penis is magic. I'm kidding, my penis is a voodoo curse. This is a video of Lizzie the bearded dragon wearing a cowboy hat and riding Rambo the Sulcuta tortoise at the Critter Camp Exotic Pet Sanctuary in German Valley, Illinois. Sounds like a fun place. Can you have your birthday there? I want to have my birthday there. "You just had a birthday, there's no way you're living to see another one." Fine, my half birthday then.

Keep going for the brief video of the coolest rodeo in German Valley, Illinois.

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Dreamworld: Man Hydroforms Steel Safety Suit, Stands In Middle Of Fireworks Display


This is a video of Colin Furze (of homemade Pyro flamethrowers, Wolverine claws and Magneto boots fame) hydroforming himself a steel safety suit then using it to stand in the middle of a fireworks display. Basically exactly what I wish I did all day instead of working. Still, it is comforting to know there's someone out there living the dream.

Keep going for the video, looks like some sparks get in the suit right after the 2:00 mark. Iron Man is not impressed.

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Bad Ideas: Some Theaters In China Allow Moviegoers To Text Messages On Screen


Some theaters in China are experimenting with "bullet screens," a service that allows moviegoers to text messages on screen while the movie is playing. You know, because I care what the person next to me is thinking. God willing, they'll at least have their phones on dim and silent. But I doubt it. *spams screen with emoticon penises*

If you're sensitive to people using their cellphones during a movie, then going to the movie theater in China would be far from relaxing experience. Rows of underlit faces and chiming ringtones punctuate the show, despite requests asking patrons to turn their phones before the movie begins.

The inspiration behind the idea appears to be that it mimicks that of watching a movie on mobile media, which is how most Chinese people watch films, with people sending messages about what they like or dislike about the movie.

"People like it right now, as it's a new thing,"...."In the long term, it might affect people's concentration. We are trying to continue with some bullet screen activities and play some films that young people like. Time will tell."

My God that sounds awful. A movie with constant text messages appearing about what the other people in the theater like and don't like about the movie? You know what that sounds like? "The world's shittiest episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000?" EXACTLY.

Thanks to Lindby, who prefers to be the only one in the theater. Same.