Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial Hedonistica

Genius: Automatic Carwash Has External Foam Blaster So You Can Shoot The Cars Going By

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Hey buddy -- roll down your window for a sec I got something to tell ya!

In what is arguably the greatest advancement in automatic car washes since the addition of the spotless rinse, comes the Suds Blaster. It's a gun mounted outside the wash that allows you to blast the cars that go by with soap. That sounds like fun. Who came up with this anyways? SPOILER: high people. High people also go to Taco Bell and eat it in their car while they go through the automatic wash because that shit is mesmerizing. What? Well it's cheaper than a movie!

Thanks to thecureforhope, which I'm all too familiar with.

25 Worst US Cities In The Event Of A Zombie Apocalypse

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This is a list developed by the folks at the real-estate website Trulia of the 25 worst cities to populate in the event of a zombie apocalypse. They based the list on four factors: hospital density, traffic congestion, fewer hardware stores, and walking score. Los Angeles is #9, but I'm not really worried because I've been planning long and hard for the zombie apocalypse. Plan A) steal an LAPD helicopter, fly it to an uninhabited island and live there like Tom Hanks in that movie where he was friends with a volleyball (I will befriend a coconut). If I'm unable to procure a helicopter, then it's on plan B) shoot myself in the head. Foolproof! Shit, I don't have a gun. Thank God for Plan C) swing a baseball bat so hard I crack the back of my skull open and die.

Thanks to carey, who agrees Bumf***, middle America might be the safest place to be in the event of a zombie apocalypse, but you're basically already dead if you live there so what's the point?

Levitating Little Jack O' Lantern Train On Magnetic Track

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This is a video of a little pumpkin with a superconductor jammed up its keister levitating on a magnetic track. REAL TALK: I'd let a scientist jam a superconductor up my keister if they told me I'd be able to levitate on a magnetic track. Hell, I'd let them put one up there if they said it could make me jump higher. Or give me clearer skin. Or nothing at all! I'm just really into butt play is what I'm saying.

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Orchestra Performs While Eating World's Hottest Peppers

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This is a video of a classical orchestra trying to perform while eating one of the world's hottest chili peppers. They all managed to maintain their composure surprisingly well despite the discomfort, making them perfect candidates for work in my sweatshop. *cracking whip* Back to work you lackeys -- these bills aren't going to counterfeit themselves.

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Charmandrew Jackson, I Choose You!: Pokemon Presidents

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Because sometimes even pocket monsters like to dress up for Halloween, this is a series of Pokemon as US Presidents as imagined by artist Brandon Dayton (you can buy prints of them all at his Etsy store HERE). By a show of hands, how many of you still don't know what you're going to be for Halloween tonight? Well I've got some news for you -- you're probably not going to win the costume contest. And if you do, well, I'm going to get f***ing pissed because I've been working on mine for months. Thanks for ruining my one night.

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109.9 Decibels: Guinness World Record's Loudest Burp

PROTIP: Make sure to turn the volume on in the lower right corner before complaining about how the burp was near-silent and you could do way better.

This is a short Vine video from the Guinness Book of World Records featuring Paul Hunn belting out a 109.9 decibel burp (about the sound of a chainsaw from a meter away) to clench the record for world's loudest burp/last person you'd want to sit across from at dinner. Seriously, this is just a Vine video but I'm pretty sure I tasted that.

Thanks to Jerm, who tried to tell me root beer is the key to solid burps despite the fact Paul here clearly uses Coke.

Emergency Response Drone With Defibrillator Inside

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Are you...my daughter?

This is the ambulance drone invented by 23-year old Dutch student Alec Momont. It packs a defibrillator inside and was designed to be able to reach cardiac arrest victims quicker than traditional emergency response teams. Because when you're having a heart attack, the last thing you want between you and a defibrillator is a bunch of @$$holes in their cars too busy texting to get out of the way of an ambulance.

'Around 800,000 people suffer a cardiac arrest in the European Union every year and only 8.0 percent survive,' Momont, 23, said at the TU Delft University. 'The main reason for this is the relatively long response time of emergency services of around 10 minutes, while brain death and fatalities occur with four to six minutes,' he said. 'The ambulance drone can get a defibrillator to a patient within a 12 square kilometre (4.6 square miles) zone within a minute, increasing the chance of survival from 8 percent to 80 percent.'


The drone tracks emergency mobile calls and uses the GPS to navigate. Once at the scene, an operator, like a paramedic, can watch, talk and instruct those helping the victim by using an on-board camera connected to a control room via a livestream webcam.

Oh cool, it has a webcam so professionals can help walk someone else through the defibrillation process. That's a relief, because I'm not sure I'd be able to do it on my own. Do I put the shock paddles directly on the victim's nipples? The sides of their head? Actually, I'm not sure I'd be much help regardless. Because one time I was out to dinner with a friend when he started choking and I panicked and just started kneeing him in the nuts. We're not friends anymore. Get it? Because he died.

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I'm Coming In For A Landing!: Space Shuttle Slippers

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These are the Space Odyssey Plush Shuttle Slippers available from ThinkGeek ($20). They're one size fits most adults, and look like little space shuttles. This is space shuttle Discovery to Refrigerator Base, request permission to dock for a midnight snack, over. You ever dreamed of making love to a man with space shuttle slippers on? Hopefully my girlfriend has, because I am about to MAKE THAT DREAM COME TRUE.

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