This is the composite shot created by Marius Vibe of the top 8 most beautiful women (according to the 2011 'Most Beautiful Girls List' Maxim issue) merged into one face. The women include Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Olivia Munn, Katy Perry, Cameron Diaz, Mila Kunis, Bar Refaeli, Anne Hathaway, and Natalie Portman. The result? A woman with three lips. That's f***ing weird. I've never kissed a mutant before and I have no interest in starting now.
Thanks to goldbar, who's worth his weight in gold, because he is gold.
This is the Supersize Bed designed and built by Cecilia Carey and Harry Parr. It looks suspiciously like a giant pack of McDonald's fries. All the fries are actually removable pillows though, so you and a sleepover friend can use them to try to beat each other off the bed like American Gladiators. *thwack!* F*** YEAH, I'M GOING TO THE ELIMINATOR! When reached for comment about the bed, the McDonald's Fry Kids could not be found, because the bed IS McDonalds Fry Kids. DUM DUM DUM!
Keep going for a closeup of the fry pillows.
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This is a video of a one-legged break dancer going so hard it looks like he's about to break his other leg off. Plus he incorporates his crutches into the routine, with a solid flying dismount around 1:13. It just goes to show you, if you try hard and believe in yourself, nothing can hold you back from your dreams. Except dying, so stop texting and driving like a jackass.
Hit the jump to see his routine.
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This is the anti-public urination sign spotted near the Hotel Marcinčák in Mikulov, Czech Republic. It threatens public pissers with the shame of a video of them doing the deed being posted to Youtube. Do they even have a camera installed? No clue. But one blogger plans on taking a vacation to find out! God willing, I'll be so successful they give me my own Youtube channel.
Thanks to Brock, who agrees the key to successful public urination is lots of bushes and pushing it out as hard and fast as you can. Just pretend you're a fire hose trying to put out a burning house.
Note: Worthwhile larger version HERE. Full-res version available from NASA here (click the photo).
This is a composite of 16 separate photos taken and stitched together by astronomer Dave Lane to create a panorama of the Milky Way Galaxy's central band above Silex Spring in Yellowstone National Park. Damn, that is a whole lot of beauty in one photo. Like if you stitched together every Playboy centerfold, then if you looked at them from far away they all formed ANOTHER naked lady. Yeah, just like that. A nipple for every star.
Thanks to Pavel, who likes to stargaze at night and ponder the meaning of life. Me? I like to get just drunk enough to pass out and not wake up at all in the middle of the night.
This is the 99-pack of Peacemaker beer available from Austin Beerworks. It's seven feet long, weighs 82-pounds, costs $99, and has 99 beers inside. For reference, that's about a dollar a beer. "No, that's EXACTLY a dollar a beer." OH COOL, YOU'RE GOOD AT MATH, WAY TO BRAG. I do not have a fridge large enough to hold this case. If I need to buy 99 beers at once, I'll do it the way God Intended: in a keg. Have I ever told you I have a kegerator in my bedroom? Well if I did, I was lying. I've only DREAMED of having a kegerator in my bedroom. Plus a lady. Such cool dreams.
Keep going for a video about how the monster case came to be.
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Dammit Doctor, I thought I told you to restock the toilet paper.
This is the TARDIS replica that was repurposed as a bathroom by Justin Hoggans of The Warmley Waiting Room Cafe in Bristol, England. It makes the perfect place to take a dump knowing there are people sitting litereally 3-feet away trying to enjoy their tea and biscuits. Will they hear your butt singing? Maybe!
Owner Justin Hoggans said: "It's got everything you need; a toilet, sink, hot and cold water and a hand dryer."
"We've got a doorbell we can press in the cafe that makes the sound go off, so we do it when someone's having their photograph taken outside - which is quite often.
"The light is operated off a motion sensor so as someone goes into the toilet, the lights inside and on top of the box go on to indicate the toilet's in use."
Neat, but how weird would it be to go in there to take care of some business, only to exit at a different place and time? What the -- did I fall asleep in there again? I used to think it was cool to try to use all the porta-potties they set up whenever they're doing construction on a house. Turns out it's not cool though. Especially if you're in one when it gets hit by a texting driver. It's the memory I use when I need to get myself to puke. Or cry.
Keep going for a couple more shots of the intergalactic space and time crapper.
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Note: Larger version HERE so you don't have to strain those beady little eyeballs of yours (one of your friends told me you look like a rat).
This is the conversation between Redditor UranusExplorer (hey -- you stay out of there!) and an Amazon customer service rep about a book order. They decide to role-play as Thor and his father, Odin. It reminded me of that Netflix customer service rep that all-starred his performance as well. Those are some quality customer service reps. Me? I always manage to get the one who isn't afraid to hang up or disconnect the chat. Fun fact: when I was in college I actually used to work at a call center for a satellite TV company. One time when I was training I panicked and put a woman on hold for so long she hung up on me. Of course that just so happened to be the call that quality assurance was listening in on. They came and made me sign a 'non-negotiable' form that said if it ever happened again I'd be fired. Then on my lunch break I went out and got high and just never came back. I spent the afternoon in a field eating wild berries. Looking back, that might have been the last good afternoon of my life.
Thanks to n0nentity, cameron, Jenn, Alex Kidd (I used to love that game on Genesis!) and Sarah, who agree quality customer service reps can really turn a frown upside-down. And bad ones? A bad one can make you want to drive to wherever they are and tear their f***ing head off and kick it like a football.