Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Starbucks' New Fall Coffee Drink That Taste Like Guinness

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Because you can only drink so many Pumpkin Spice Lattes a day, Starbucks is now testing Dark Barrel Latte, a coffee drink designed to mimic the taste of Guinness. Unfortunately, the drink contains zero alcohol, making it much more lucrative to go to your local pub and order a real Guinness for the same price, half the calories, and infinitely more fun. Who knows, maybe you'll even make a friend and shoot darts together. Will that friend turn out to be a psychopath and try to stab you with a dart? It's happened to me before! Several times.

Thanks to asdfasdf, who only plays electronic darts with the plastic tips due to safety concerns.

Fools!: Researchers Teach Robot To Pilot Flight Simulator

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In this will all end very poorly news, researchers in South Korea have taught a little humanoid robot to pilot a flight simulator. Admittedly, it does pretty well. So, let's say in a couple years they have the technology for robots to fly passenger planes autonomously. Would you rather be flown around by a robot or a human? "A DRAGON." Good f***ing answer. When reached for comment about South Korea's robot pilot, North Korea informed me they already have robots flying commercial flights, and recently welcomed the safe return of a pair of autonomous robot astronauts who traveled to the surface of the sun and back to bring home rainbow crystals.

Keep going for the video.

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That's A Hell Of A Deep End: New Deepest Swimming Pool Is 40-Meters (131-Feet) To The Bottom

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This is Montegrotto Terme, Italy's recently completed 'Y-40' (aka 'The Deep Joy', which I've actually been called before), the new world's deepest swimming pool (previously: this one). The pool's central well reaches a depth of 40-meters (~131-feet) and is used for deep-sea diving practice. The pool also features several underwater viewing areas (including a clear tunnel) and is filled with spa water kept at 32 - 34°C (~90°F). That's nice and toasty. Still, 131-feet deep? How high is the high dive, a mile? Because I jumped off the highest Olympic diving platform once and I'm pretty sure I got brain damage. My mom said it was just swimmer's ear, but she keeps a lot of things from me.

Keep going for a video of the pool, including a guy heading to the bottom.

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Woman Rewriting Harry Potter Into Conservative Christian Tale So Her Kids Don't Turn Into Witches

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Grace Ann is a conservative Christian mother (and possible troll) in the process of rewriting Harry Potter into 'Hogwarts School Of Prayer And Miracles', a God-fearing tale her kids can read without turning into witches. Like, that's her concern. You know, because that's happened to other children. Her introduction while I go pound my head against the bathroom mirror:

Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought..... why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you!

She's completed the first seven chapters of the first book so far, and let me tell you -- they're something else. The book starts with Hagrid coming to rescue Harry from his atheist aunt and uncle who just taught Harry about evolution, then goes downhill from there. You can read all seven chapters she's finished HERE, although I've included the first one in its entirety after the jump. Her poor kids. You think she lets them watch Lord of the Rings? Because I've got the feeling she doesn't. Still, I'm sure they'll grow up to be fine, well-adjusted young adults. "Wanna come over for a sleepover?!" Absolutely not, your mom is nuts.

Keep going for the first chapter.

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Now You're Talking: Lady's Handbag w/ 28oz Hidden Flask

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From hidden flask specialists Binoktails (who brought us the digital camera and hairbrush flasks) comes the $36 Bev-Bag Secret Handbag Flask. It holds a whopping 28-oz (828ml, more than a regular fifth bottle and almost a liter) of your favorite booze. Or just the cheapest booze. Now you can confidently have your handbag searched at a concert or sporting event and still bring the party! Do you even know what the equivalent of an entire bottle of booze would cost in drinks at a professional sporting event? Like $240. That's a savings of a f***ing shit-ton! I'll never complain about having to hold my girlfriend's purse again. Not that I ever have, but I'm into feeling sassy.

Thanks to scott, who works for the company and should hook me up with all sorts of James Bond booze hiding devices.

Create Custom Pixel Waffles With The Pixel Waffle Maker

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This is the Pixel Waffle Maker, a waffle maker with a 9 x 9 pixel silicon tray that allows you to push individual pixels in and out to create custom waffle designs. Obviously, the designs you can make in a 9 x 9 tray are pretty limited, but that's not going to stop me from trying to make every variation of an 8-bit penis I can think of. Cooking for the family? Use the pixels to make each kid's initials so you know who finished their breakfast and deserves dessert and who doesn't. "Who eats dessert after breakfast?" People who aren't afraid to live a little, that's who.

Keep going for a shot of the whole waffle maker, go HERE to help pick a suitable price for when it hits the market.

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Terrifying: Guys Spot Huge Massive Gigantic Anaconda In Brazilian River, Grab Its Tail

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This is a video of several Brazilians out for a leisurely cruise in their boat when they spot a f***ing GIGANTIC anaconda. So what do they do? Naturally, grab its tail and try to tug it around for a bit while a woman in the boat screams her face off. Honestly, I don't even know what she's saying, but I've got a feeling she's being the voice of reason.

Keep going for the video, then never swim in a Brazilian river.

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New iPhone Vs. Liquid Nitrogen Bath And Sledgehammer

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Because there are literally tons of people willing to trade hundreds of dollars in electronics for Youtube views, this is a video of a new iPhone 6 taking a liquid nitrogen bath, then being shattered with a sledgehammer. It didn't stand a chance. Of course, an iPhone that hasn't taken a liquid nitrogen bath doesn't really stand a chance against a sledgehammer either. This one though, it just disintegrates. Like if I cast a dust spell against an enemy in combat. I mean, I never would because I like a fair fight, but if I did. "Fair fight? You cast a Harry Potter death spell on somebody with their back turned." Oh...you saw that, huh? Shit, what's that behind you?!

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